fucked up dreams continue
now i'm having dreams about my ex.
who was abusive. and tried to get me to eat meat while i was drunk once. and told me i was fat. and made me turn around so he could look at my body and tell me where i was improving. and made me run and bike and do abs with him every time i saw him.
basically he pushed me 1000 times deeper into hating myself. so why am i having dreams about missing him?
why did i wake up and want to call him?
jesus. sometimes i swear my brain is conspiring against me. this always happens when i fast or do hardcore restricting...my dreams just get super illogical and weird.
but, i'm still losing. so i press on....
who was abusive. and tried to get me to eat meat while i was drunk once. and told me i was fat. and made me turn around so he could look at my body and tell me where i was improving. and made me run and bike and do abs with him every time i saw him.
basically he pushed me 1000 times deeper into hating myself. so why am i having dreams about missing him?
why did i wake up and want to call him?
jesus. sometimes i swear my brain is conspiring against me. this always happens when i fast or do hardcore restricting...my dreams just get super illogical and weird.
but, i'm still losing. so i press on....