fiction: "Some Things Are Inevitable"
Title: Some Things Are Inevitable
Fandom: Hahahahaha... This is set in a multiversal nexusy place where people from many different series, mythologies, and original weird places congregate. The important ones for right now are Weiss Kreuz and Sailor Moon, so long as you understand that a hell of a lot of development of these characters has been done through roleplay etc. since the point at which they more-or-less left their native narratives...
Props: taichara and I agreed that this was completely inevitable, tossed around the possible scenario, and then I wrote words. Thank you, krillia, for helping me work out some phrasing that satisfied my need to feel like all dialogue here is translated from the language actually being spoken, i.e. Japanese.
Warnings: Uterus. Uterus uterus uterus. LULZ (Also, boozahol.)
Disclaimer: No kitties were harmed by uterine attacks (from spaaaaace) in the making of this fic.
Author's Note: Sorry, Tai, I couldn't fit the word "uterus" into the title. :( Hope you enjoy it anyway.
It was a slow night at the Butterfly Club, and Youji was surprised to find a member of the house band (and not the one he lived with upstairs) sitting at one of the bar's few occupied tables, drinking steadily. Extra surprising because it was Taiki, whom he hadn't previously associated with heavy alcohol consumption, and she was in female form, which wasn't the usual face she wore inside the club. While women weren't unwelcome, it was a gay bar, with a mostly male clientele.
And actually, the face was the same. It was the phenomenal breasts that made most of the immediately visible difference. Taiki's voice wasn't even much higher when she told him to go away before he'd even said hello.
"Oh-kay..."
"Youji? Sorry, I didn't look. You can stay." Taiki made a face of frustration as he eased himself in across from her. "At least three men I know aren't interested in women have tried to flirt with me. I don't understand it."
Tried and failed, thought Youji. Or maybe 'crashed and burned' is a more accurate phrase. That explained why some of the regulars had a distinct air of licking their wound. Speaking of explaining...
"You still look like you," Youji told Taiki. "They're used to thinking of you as a man -- they probably thought you were in drag."
Taiki's incredulous expression and gesture at the ample cleavage visible courtesy of the low vee of her shirt made a wordlessly eloquent argument.
Youji couldn't help but smile.
"True, an impossibly convincing drag..."
Taiki snorted and drained her glass, signalling for another. Across the room, Kyou was discharging his duties as head bartender by training a new staff member. Youji didn't give the guy good odds for sticking around; he hadn't even noticed the gesture. Fortunately, Kyou caught it and sent over a refill for Taiki and a ginger-and-orange for Youji.
Taiki heaved a sigh before taking a sip from her glass. From things Dove and Seiya had said (and things Taiki had said or not said), Youji had gotten the impression that good days were rarer than bad in Taiki's life. He wondered what had happened that drove her to drink.
"Wanna talk about it?" he inquired neutrally.
"No, I want to drink about it." Suiting word to action, she took a deep swallow.
Youji nodded, not expecting a different reply but appreciative of the wording.
"If the barflies are bothering you, why not get a bottle to take home?"
Taiki gave him a scathing look -- which she was very talented at, especially ones that made the target doubt their own IQ, like this one did.
"You've met Yaten. How pleasant do you think he is to deal with when you're doing something he disapproves of?" She lifted her glass to indicate the 'something' in question. "Or when you're hungover?"
Youji winced. "I can imagine."
"I promise you, it's worse."
At this point, another of the bar patrons approached, although he paused uncertainly when he was close enough and at an angle to see down Taiki's top.
"Stop," she said firmly, pointing a finger at the man without looking at him. He froze. Taiki made a swirling motion and then pointed away. "Go." He fled.
"Sorry," Youji said with an ironic grimace. "I guess I'm not much of a buffer."
Taiki sighed again, rubbing her forehead.
"I suppose I should just go home..."
"Well... I have an idea. If you want to keep drinking -- and trust me, I sympathize -- I could let you up to our apartment. Dove is at some secret trade meet, I don't expect him back until one at the earliest."
"Alone?" Taiki looked faintly hopeful, but also reluctant. "I would feel uncomfortable..."
Youji shrugged. "I'll go with you, then. If you don't want to talk, I have a book to read, or I could put on a movie."
"Babysitting," Taiki said flatly.
Youji shook his head, surreptitiously turning off his watch alarm just before it would have beeped to remind him to take his pain medication. He wasn't supposed to mix it with alcohol...
"Keeping company," he counteroffered. "We could share a bottle."
Taiki tilted her head and gazed at Youji consideringly. After a moment, she nodded. "Red wine?"
"Sounds good."
They temporarily split up at the bar, Taiki getting their bottle while Youji went around to the stairwell door. He felt a pang of regret for skipping out on the exasperated dressing down Kyou was clearly going to deliver in the none-to-distant future -- he was entertainingly withering when he got pissed off -- but he quashed the selfish thought.
Taiki actually brought two bottles and a corkscrew. Youji took one and gestured for her to precede him up the stairs so he could lock the door behind them.
"What's the book?" The question drifted down, and Youji looked up to watch Taiki climb. She really did move differently as a woman.
"A biography of Sasaki Dōyō. Kyou recommended it. I've just finished the chapter about flower arranging."
Taiki turned at the top of the stairs. "Flower arranging? I associate him more with poetry and incense."
Youji smiled. "And tea parties. Well, I am a trained florist, even if it's just a hobby at present."
=^o^= ***TIME SKIP*** =^o^=
When Youji woke in the morning, he was immediately and viciously reminded that there was a reason he'd been willing to give up drinking in favour of a prescription for pain killers, and also that having done so meant that his tolerance for alcohol would naturally have atrophied in the meantime.
He moved very slightly, and the resulting pain in his head and his back nearly made him pass out.
Gritting his teeth, Youji reached out to the place on the nightstand where he usually kept his pills. Miraculously, they were there. He dosed himself with his eyes closed, swallowing the pills dry and then holding the bottle to his chest while he waited for them to kick in.
After a while, awareness of things other than pain became possible. For example, he needed to relieve his bladder -- as soon as he could risk walking. There was a lock of hair tickling his collarbone, but the movement required to dislodge it was just not worth the effort. His pill bottle was unusually crinkly this morning.
This last sufficiently puzzled Youji that eventually he opened his eyes to investigate. The sunlight coming in the windows by the kitchen immediately stabbed into his eyeballs and through to his brain, but he'd been expecting that; he toughed it out until he could focus, and then held the bottle up where he could see it.
There was a piece of paper taped to it, with a note in Dove's handwriting. It said, Don't forget to change the sheets! Mysterious. Hadn't they done laundry not that long ago? Was it even Youji's turn to change the linens? And why would Dove leave him a note when Youji could feel the heat of another person in the bed along his side?
Further information percolated into his brain: he was being tickled by what felt like hair in many places, most of which Dove's hair, though long, could not reach... and the familiar aftertaste in his mouth was not just from wine.
Youji sat up. He looked.
Taiki was in the bed. They -- yes, it was coming back to him -- they had definitely had sex.
Youji sighed and extricated himself from as much of her hair as he could. It looked good out of the ponytail, but there was really an incredible lot of it, and his need to visit the bathroom was now too urgent to ignore.
The graceless trip out of bed alerted him that he'd pulled a few muscles. He'd have to pester the illegal Tibetan acupressurist next door to help him. No, he'd have to beg, because the walls were thin so Mu would know exactly how he'd hurt himself. Doubtless there was going to be a lecture.
Damn.
After he washed his hands, face, and parts south, and swished some mouthwash around to burn off the worst of his morning breath, Youji returned to the main room of his and Dove's apartment. He briefly considered picking up the clothing scattered around, but the idea of bending over just didn't appeal. He pulled on a fresh pair of sweatpants and his favourite sunglasses.
Armed with a bottle of water from the fridge, Youji settled himself in the kitchen with his back to the sun and tried to force his brain into higher functionality.
This... had the potential to be awkward. It had been a very long time since he'd had more than a one-night stand, and he wasn't sure how best to behave with someone he'd like to remain friends with, who had friends in common...
Taiki slept on, long limbs sprawled with artless grace, and Youji realized he wouldn't mind doing this again -- with less alcohol -- but that was a lesser priority.
He also wondered where Dove had slept last night, and how much apologizing for displacing him from his own bed lay in the future.
Eventually Taiki produced a small grunt of protest; she'd either tried to move, or to open her eyes, he'd bet. Probably the latter, judging by how she kept nearly shut as she pushed herself up off the mattress, cascading hair, and wove across the room to the bathroom. When she emerged again, he was ready by the door with two aspirins and a fresh bottle of water, all of which she downed silently. Next, he offered the loan of his houserobe and a pair of sunglasses. Taiki donned these items and didn't-quite-flop onto the foot of the bed. He gave her more water.
"Thanks."
Youji brushed this off with a, "it was easy," only catching the possible double meaning when he saw Taiki's faint smirk. He snorted, but his amusement faded as something occurred to him.
"We didn't use protection."
Taiki started to shake her head, then stopped, pressing a hand to her forehead. "I'm an alien. Our bodies fit together but our... chromosomes? ...don't."
"Oh." Youji thought about that. "Interesting." He knew he'd probably think of a bunch of questions once his brain recovered from the previous night's indulgence, but for now he left it at that.
"What time is it?" Taiki asked.
Youji squinted at the microwave. "Seven-thirty."
Taiki heaved a sigh. "If I leave now, I can get home and get a shower before Yaten wakes up."
"Feel free to use our shower. I can lend you some clothes."
"No, thank you." Taiki sat up and started gathering in her hair. "I'd rather use my own shampoo. Can I borrow a hairtie, though?"
He got her one, and one of his hats, and helped her find her clothes. They he walked her out of the building so he could lock up behind her. It was surreally normal. He returned to the apartment and just stood for a moment.
Finally, he muttered, "sheets", and set about cleaning up, shaking his head. Considering his life, it was probably the sheer normalcy of sleeping with an alien who could swap sex at will that seemed strange.
Fandom: Hahahahaha... This is set in a multiversal nexusy place where people from many different series, mythologies, and original weird places congregate. The important ones for right now are Weiss Kreuz and Sailor Moon, so long as you understand that a hell of a lot of development of these characters has been done through roleplay etc. since the point at which they more-or-less left their native narratives...
Props: taichara and I agreed that this was completely inevitable, tossed around the possible scenario, and then I wrote words. Thank you, krillia, for helping me work out some phrasing that satisfied my need to feel like all dialogue here is translated from the language actually being spoken, i.e. Japanese.
Warnings: Uterus. Uterus uterus uterus. LULZ (Also, boozahol.)
Disclaimer: No kitties were harmed by uterine attacks (from spaaaaace) in the making of this fic.
Author's Note: Sorry, Tai, I couldn't fit the word "uterus" into the title. :( Hope you enjoy it anyway.
It was a slow night at the Butterfly Club, and Youji was surprised to find a member of the house band (and not the one he lived with upstairs) sitting at one of the bar's few occupied tables, drinking steadily. Extra surprising because it was Taiki, whom he hadn't previously associated with heavy alcohol consumption, and she was in female form, which wasn't the usual face she wore inside the club. While women weren't unwelcome, it was a gay bar, with a mostly male clientele.
And actually, the face was the same. It was the phenomenal breasts that made most of the immediately visible difference. Taiki's voice wasn't even much higher when she told him to go away before he'd even said hello.
"Oh-kay..."
"Youji? Sorry, I didn't look. You can stay." Taiki made a face of frustration as he eased himself in across from her. "At least three men I know aren't interested in women have tried to flirt with me. I don't understand it."
Tried and failed, thought Youji. Or maybe 'crashed and burned' is a more accurate phrase. That explained why some of the regulars had a distinct air of licking their wound. Speaking of explaining...
"You still look like you," Youji told Taiki. "They're used to thinking of you as a man -- they probably thought you were in drag."
Taiki's incredulous expression and gesture at the ample cleavage visible courtesy of the low vee of her shirt made a wordlessly eloquent argument.
Youji couldn't help but smile.
"True, an impossibly convincing drag..."
Taiki snorted and drained her glass, signalling for another. Across the room, Kyou was discharging his duties as head bartender by training a new staff member. Youji didn't give the guy good odds for sticking around; he hadn't even noticed the gesture. Fortunately, Kyou caught it and sent over a refill for Taiki and a ginger-and-orange for Youji.
Taiki heaved a sigh before taking a sip from her glass. From things Dove and Seiya had said (and things Taiki had said or not said), Youji had gotten the impression that good days were rarer than bad in Taiki's life. He wondered what had happened that drove her to drink.
"Wanna talk about it?" he inquired neutrally.
"No, I want to drink about it." Suiting word to action, she took a deep swallow.
Youji nodded, not expecting a different reply but appreciative of the wording.
"If the barflies are bothering you, why not get a bottle to take home?"
Taiki gave him a scathing look -- which she was very talented at, especially ones that made the target doubt their own IQ, like this one did.
"You've met Yaten. How pleasant do you think he is to deal with when you're doing something he disapproves of?" She lifted her glass to indicate the 'something' in question. "Or when you're hungover?"
Youji winced. "I can imagine."
"I promise you, it's worse."
At this point, another of the bar patrons approached, although he paused uncertainly when he was close enough and at an angle to see down Taiki's top.
"Stop," she said firmly, pointing a finger at the man without looking at him. He froze. Taiki made a swirling motion and then pointed away. "Go." He fled.
"Sorry," Youji said with an ironic grimace. "I guess I'm not much of a buffer."
Taiki sighed again, rubbing her forehead.
"I suppose I should just go home..."
"Well... I have an idea. If you want to keep drinking -- and trust me, I sympathize -- I could let you up to our apartment. Dove is at some secret trade meet, I don't expect him back until one at the earliest."
"Alone?" Taiki looked faintly hopeful, but also reluctant. "I would feel uncomfortable..."
Youji shrugged. "I'll go with you, then. If you don't want to talk, I have a book to read, or I could put on a movie."
"Babysitting," Taiki said flatly.
Youji shook his head, surreptitiously turning off his watch alarm just before it would have beeped to remind him to take his pain medication. He wasn't supposed to mix it with alcohol...
"Keeping company," he counteroffered. "We could share a bottle."
Taiki tilted her head and gazed at Youji consideringly. After a moment, she nodded. "Red wine?"
"Sounds good."
They temporarily split up at the bar, Taiki getting their bottle while Youji went around to the stairwell door. He felt a pang of regret for skipping out on the exasperated dressing down Kyou was clearly going to deliver in the none-to-distant future -- he was entertainingly withering when he got pissed off -- but he quashed the selfish thought.
Taiki actually brought two bottles and a corkscrew. Youji took one and gestured for her to precede him up the stairs so he could lock the door behind them.
"What's the book?" The question drifted down, and Youji looked up to watch Taiki climb. She really did move differently as a woman.
"A biography of Sasaki Dōyō. Kyou recommended it. I've just finished the chapter about flower arranging."
Taiki turned at the top of the stairs. "Flower arranging? I associate him more with poetry and incense."
Youji smiled. "And tea parties. Well, I am a trained florist, even if it's just a hobby at present."
=^o^= ***TIME SKIP*** =^o^=
When Youji woke in the morning, he was immediately and viciously reminded that there was a reason he'd been willing to give up drinking in favour of a prescription for pain killers, and also that having done so meant that his tolerance for alcohol would naturally have atrophied in the meantime.
He moved very slightly, and the resulting pain in his head and his back nearly made him pass out.
Gritting his teeth, Youji reached out to the place on the nightstand where he usually kept his pills. Miraculously, they were there. He dosed himself with his eyes closed, swallowing the pills dry and then holding the bottle to his chest while he waited for them to kick in.
After a while, awareness of things other than pain became possible. For example, he needed to relieve his bladder -- as soon as he could risk walking. There was a lock of hair tickling his collarbone, but the movement required to dislodge it was just not worth the effort. His pill bottle was unusually crinkly this morning.
This last sufficiently puzzled Youji that eventually he opened his eyes to investigate. The sunlight coming in the windows by the kitchen immediately stabbed into his eyeballs and through to his brain, but he'd been expecting that; he toughed it out until he could focus, and then held the bottle up where he could see it.
There was a piece of paper taped to it, with a note in Dove's handwriting. It said, Don't forget to change the sheets! Mysterious. Hadn't they done laundry not that long ago? Was it even Youji's turn to change the linens? And why would Dove leave him a note when Youji could feel the heat of another person in the bed along his side?
Further information percolated into his brain: he was being tickled by what felt like hair in many places, most of which Dove's hair, though long, could not reach... and the familiar aftertaste in his mouth was not just from wine.
Youji sat up. He looked.
Taiki was in the bed. They -- yes, it was coming back to him -- they had definitely had sex.
Youji sighed and extricated himself from as much of her hair as he could. It looked good out of the ponytail, but there was really an incredible lot of it, and his need to visit the bathroom was now too urgent to ignore.
The graceless trip out of bed alerted him that he'd pulled a few muscles. He'd have to pester the illegal Tibetan acupressurist next door to help him. No, he'd have to beg, because the walls were thin so Mu would know exactly how he'd hurt himself. Doubtless there was going to be a lecture.
Damn.
After he washed his hands, face, and parts south, and swished some mouthwash around to burn off the worst of his morning breath, Youji returned to the main room of his and Dove's apartment. He briefly considered picking up the clothing scattered around, but the idea of bending over just didn't appeal. He pulled on a fresh pair of sweatpants and his favourite sunglasses.
Armed with a bottle of water from the fridge, Youji settled himself in the kitchen with his back to the sun and tried to force his brain into higher functionality.
This... had the potential to be awkward. It had been a very long time since he'd had more than a one-night stand, and he wasn't sure how best to behave with someone he'd like to remain friends with, who had friends in common...
Taiki slept on, long limbs sprawled with artless grace, and Youji realized he wouldn't mind doing this again -- with less alcohol -- but that was a lesser priority.
He also wondered where Dove had slept last night, and how much apologizing for displacing him from his own bed lay in the future.
Eventually Taiki produced a small grunt of protest; she'd either tried to move, or to open her eyes, he'd bet. Probably the latter, judging by how she kept nearly shut as she pushed herself up off the mattress, cascading hair, and wove across the room to the bathroom. When she emerged again, he was ready by the door with two aspirins and a fresh bottle of water, all of which she downed silently. Next, he offered the loan of his houserobe and a pair of sunglasses. Taiki donned these items and didn't-quite-flop onto the foot of the bed. He gave her more water.
"Thanks."
Youji brushed this off with a, "it was easy," only catching the possible double meaning when he saw Taiki's faint smirk. He snorted, but his amusement faded as something occurred to him.
"We didn't use protection."
Taiki started to shake her head, then stopped, pressing a hand to her forehead. "I'm an alien. Our bodies fit together but our... chromosomes? ...don't."
"Oh." Youji thought about that. "Interesting." He knew he'd probably think of a bunch of questions once his brain recovered from the previous night's indulgence, but for now he left it at that.
"What time is it?" Taiki asked.
Youji squinted at the microwave. "Seven-thirty."
Taiki heaved a sigh. "If I leave now, I can get home and get a shower before Yaten wakes up."
"Feel free to use our shower. I can lend you some clothes."
"No, thank you." Taiki sat up and started gathering in her hair. "I'd rather use my own shampoo. Can I borrow a hairtie, though?"
He got her one, and one of his hats, and helped her find her clothes. They he walked her out of the building so he could lock up behind her. It was surreally normal. He returned to the apartment and just stood for a moment.
Finally, he muttered, "sheets", and set about cleaning up, shaking his head. Considering his life, it was probably the sheer normalcy of sleeping with an alien who could swap sex at will that seemed strange.