(no subject)
So today there's a random knock at the door. I dragged my fabulously hungover and half dead ass off the couch and there's one of my neighbours. The boys start going apeshit with glee because while I hate People and can't even be arsed to even find out his name, he's actually a pretty cool old dude who always makes a point of stopping to play with the kids every time he passes by. His kids are all in their late 20s and out of the house so it's a win-win all around when he gets a few minutes of small people glee and they get someone new to terrorize.
Anyhoo, he's been a bit standoffish with me lately. Friendly, but I don't know...extra polite? My fried ass is standing there trying to parse the words coming out of his mouth which can be hard enough on a normal day with his Jamaican accent but I manage to put together that in his culture it's tradition to not cook on Good Friday so he brought us a loaf of their 'Easter Bread' which is what they eat with cheese instead of meat or a meal and he wanted to share some with us. Wow, nice. And then he looks at me shyly and asks me if I'm the boy's mom's sister. And I'm all 'uhhh, what?' cuz I'm not even sure if I've heard him correctly at that point. And he's all 'da boys! Dere mom! You her sister?' And I just started laughing cuz 'dude! It's me. I'm their mom?!'
Poor old dude literally almost has a heart attack on my porch. 'OH LORD! OH GOD! OH YOU GOT ME SO GOOD! I BIN STARING AT YOU FOREVER NOW TRYING TO FIGGER OUT WHO YOU BE! HOW MUCH WEIGHT HAVE YOU LOST GIRL?!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU!'.
No, shit. Really?! That's the second time in 24 hours that someone didn't recognize me when they first saw me. Ed was a bit less dramatic about it last night seeing as he didn't keel over Jamaican-drama style the way my neighbour did but he didn't recognize me when I first walked in the room last night either. How totally, utterly bizarre. And now I don't quite know what to make of that. Was I that big before? Because it didn't seem that way to me, you know? Sure I had a few more pounds but it was just a size 12 dude. I was still shopping in normal sized clothing stores so it's not like I went into plus sizes or anything. Or is it that I'm just so much smaller now? But I'm only down to a size 6 so it's not like I've turned into this unrecognizable waif in the process who's wandering around in size 0s or anything?
I'm not complaining it's just utterly bizarre how big of a difference 3 sizes can make I guess. Someday when I have slept more and possibly purchased another brain from ebay that works better than this one I may have some profound insight about all of this. Not now though. Now I seriously and severely need to lie down. Saree is every bit as amazingtacular as you would expect Poland's bestestest to be. My head hurts in all the happiest possible ways and I need to go fling my tiny, unrecognizable ass on my husband before he has to leave for work.
It's not a bad life, I'm not gonna lie.
Spanish Tortilla
Recipe and Photo From EatingWell Magazine - March/April 2007
I don't know why they call this a tortilla when it's a potato-and-egg omelet from Spain but it is retardedly yummy so I forgive them for their stupid name. Traditionally these are cooked in heaps of olive oil but this version uses less oil, so it’s lower in calories, and I pre-boil the potatoes the night before so it's pretty quick too.
3 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided
1 small onion, thinly sliced
1 cup precooked diced red potatoes
1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme
1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
6 large eggs
4 large egg whites
1/2 cup shredded Manchego or Jack cheese
3 cups baby spinach, roughly chopped
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1. Heat 2 teaspoons oil in a medium nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add onion and cook, stirring, until translucent, 3 to 4 minutes. Add potatoes, thyme and paprika and cook for 2 minutes more.
2. Lightly whisk eggs and egg whites in a large bowl. Gently stir the potato mixture into the eggs along with cheese, spinach, salt and pepper until combined. Wipe the pan clean; add the remaining 1 teaspoon oil and heat over medium heat. Pour in the egg mixture, cover and cook until the edges are set and the bottom is browned, 4 to 5 minutes (it will still be moist in the center).
3. To flip the tortilla, run a spatula gently around the edges to loosen them. Invert a large plate over the pan and turn out the tortilla onto it. Slide the tortilla back into the pan and continue cooking until completely set in the middle, 3 to 6 minutes. Serve warm or cold.
Note: Dirty DIRTY LIES! If you're feeling especially brave or retarded by all means try to flip this douchebag but good fucking luck. I may be just a tiny bit bitter but mine ended up a big heap of scrambled eggs everytime I tried so eventually I wised up and now after the bottom is browned I just turn on the broiler in the oven to high, pop the frying pan in there and let the top set and brown that way. Then it's simple enough to flip it and let it cook for a few more minutes if it still seems like it will be runny in the centre...depends on how big and deep your frying pan is but mine usually needs a few more minutes stovetop before it's done.
Makes 6 servings
NUTRITION INFORMATION: Per serving: 178 calories; 9 g fat (3 g sat, 4 g mono); 217 mg cholesterol; 11 g carbohydrate; 12 g protein; 2 g fiber; 433 mg sodium; 210 mg potassium.
Nutrition bonus: Vitamin A (35% daily value), Selenium (29% dv), Vitamin C (15% dv).
Asparagus-and-Ham Casserole
Recipe and photo from Cooking Light, May 2001
3 3/4 cups uncooked extra-broad egg noodles
2 1/2 cups (1 1/2-inch) sliced asparagus
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1 cup whole milk
1 cup fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth
1 tablespoon butter
3/4 cup finely chopped onion
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1 1/2 cups (1/2-inch) cubed ham
1/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
2 tablespoons grated fresh Parmesan cheese
2 tablespoons bread crumbs
Preheat oven to 450°.
Cook pasta in boiling water 7 minutes. Add asparagus; cook 2 minutes. Drain.
Place flour, thyme, salt, and pepper in medium bowl; gradually add milk and broth, stirring with a whisk until well-blended.
Melt the butter in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the onion; saute 4 minutes. Add milk mixture; cook until thick (about 4 minutes), stirring constantly. Remove from heat, and stir in lemon juice. Combine the pasta mixture, milk mixture, ham, and parsley in large bowl; spoon into a 2-quart casserole. Sprinkle with breadcrumbs and cheese.
Bake at 450° for 10 minutes or until filling is bubbly and topping is golden.
Makes 6 - 1 cup servings, which doesn't seem like a lot but holy shit did I find this filling. And yummy. The flavours are pretty delicate though and I'm a huge fan of asparagus and ham together so this was bound to appeal to me. It hasn't been Kneegs or Fratboy tested yet though to YMMV.
Nutritional Information
Calories: 250 (26% from fat)
Fat: 7.1g (sat 3.4g,mono 2.4g,poly 0.7g)
Protein: 16g
Carbohydrate: 30.9g
Fiber: 2.7g
Cholesterol: 52mg
Iron: 2.6mg
Sodium: 835mg
Calcium: 114mg
Anyhoo, he's been a bit standoffish with me lately. Friendly, but I don't know...extra polite? My fried ass is standing there trying to parse the words coming out of his mouth which can be hard enough on a normal day with his Jamaican accent but I manage to put together that in his culture it's tradition to not cook on Good Friday so he brought us a loaf of their 'Easter Bread' which is what they eat with cheese instead of meat or a meal and he wanted to share some with us. Wow, nice. And then he looks at me shyly and asks me if I'm the boy's mom's sister. And I'm all 'uhhh, what?' cuz I'm not even sure if I've heard him correctly at that point. And he's all 'da boys! Dere mom! You her sister?' And I just started laughing cuz 'dude! It's me. I'm their mom?!'
Poor old dude literally almost has a heart attack on my porch. 'OH LORD! OH GOD! OH YOU GOT ME SO GOOD! I BIN STARING AT YOU FOREVER NOW TRYING TO FIGGER OUT WHO YOU BE! HOW MUCH WEIGHT HAVE YOU LOST GIRL?!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU!'.
No, shit. Really?! That's the second time in 24 hours that someone didn't recognize me when they first saw me. Ed was a bit less dramatic about it last night seeing as he didn't keel over Jamaican-drama style the way my neighbour did but he didn't recognize me when I first walked in the room last night either. How totally, utterly bizarre. And now I don't quite know what to make of that. Was I that big before? Because it didn't seem that way to me, you know? Sure I had a few more pounds but it was just a size 12 dude. I was still shopping in normal sized clothing stores so it's not like I went into plus sizes or anything. Or is it that I'm just so much smaller now? But I'm only down to a size 6 so it's not like I've turned into this unrecognizable waif in the process who's wandering around in size 0s or anything?
I'm not complaining it's just utterly bizarre how big of a difference 3 sizes can make I guess. Someday when I have slept more and possibly purchased another brain from ebay that works better than this one I may have some profound insight about all of this. Not now though. Now I seriously and severely need to lie down. Saree is every bit as amazingtacular as you would expect Poland's bestestest to be. My head hurts in all the happiest possible ways and I need to go fling my tiny, unrecognizable ass on my husband before he has to leave for work.
It's not a bad life, I'm not gonna lie.
Spanish Tortilla
Recipe and Photo From EatingWell Magazine - March/April 2007
I don't know why they call this a tortilla when it's a potato-and-egg omelet from Spain but it is retardedly yummy so I forgive them for their stupid name. Traditionally these are cooked in heaps of olive oil but this version uses less oil, so it’s lower in calories, and I pre-boil the potatoes the night before so it's pretty quick too.
3 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided
1 small onion, thinly sliced
1 cup precooked diced red potatoes
1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme
1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
6 large eggs
4 large egg whites
1/2 cup shredded Manchego or Jack cheese
3 cups baby spinach, roughly chopped
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1. Heat 2 teaspoons oil in a medium nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add onion and cook, stirring, until translucent, 3 to 4 minutes. Add potatoes, thyme and paprika and cook for 2 minutes more.
2. Lightly whisk eggs and egg whites in a large bowl. Gently stir the potato mixture into the eggs along with cheese, spinach, salt and pepper until combined. Wipe the pan clean; add the remaining 1 teaspoon oil and heat over medium heat. Pour in the egg mixture, cover and cook until the edges are set and the bottom is browned, 4 to 5 minutes (it will still be moist in the center).
3. To flip the tortilla, run a spatula gently around the edges to loosen them. Invert a large plate over the pan and turn out the tortilla onto it. Slide the tortilla back into the pan and continue cooking until completely set in the middle, 3 to 6 minutes. Serve warm or cold.
Note: Dirty DIRTY LIES! If you're feeling especially brave or retarded by all means try to flip this douchebag but good fucking luck. I may be just a tiny bit bitter but mine ended up a big heap of scrambled eggs everytime I tried so eventually I wised up and now after the bottom is browned I just turn on the broiler in the oven to high, pop the frying pan in there and let the top set and brown that way. Then it's simple enough to flip it and let it cook for a few more minutes if it still seems like it will be runny in the centre...depends on how big and deep your frying pan is but mine usually needs a few more minutes stovetop before it's done.
Makes 6 servings
NUTRITION INFORMATION: Per serving: 178 calories; 9 g fat (3 g sat, 4 g mono); 217 mg cholesterol; 11 g carbohydrate; 12 g protein; 2 g fiber; 433 mg sodium; 210 mg potassium.
Nutrition bonus: Vitamin A (35% daily value), Selenium (29% dv), Vitamin C (15% dv).
Asparagus-and-Ham Casserole
Recipe and photo from Cooking Light, May 2001
3 3/4 cups uncooked extra-broad egg noodles
2 1/2 cups (1 1/2-inch) sliced asparagus
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1 cup whole milk
1 cup fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth
1 tablespoon butter
3/4 cup finely chopped onion
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1 1/2 cups (1/2-inch) cubed ham
1/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
2 tablespoons grated fresh Parmesan cheese
2 tablespoons bread crumbs
Preheat oven to 450°.
Cook pasta in boiling water 7 minutes. Add asparagus; cook 2 minutes. Drain.
Place flour, thyme, salt, and pepper in medium bowl; gradually add milk and broth, stirring with a whisk until well-blended.
Melt the butter in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the onion; saute 4 minutes. Add milk mixture; cook until thick (about 4 minutes), stirring constantly. Remove from heat, and stir in lemon juice. Combine the pasta mixture, milk mixture, ham, and parsley in large bowl; spoon into a 2-quart casserole. Sprinkle with breadcrumbs and cheese.
Bake at 450° for 10 minutes or until filling is bubbly and topping is golden.
Makes 6 - 1 cup servings, which doesn't seem like a lot but holy shit did I find this filling. And yummy. The flavours are pretty delicate though and I'm a huge fan of asparagus and ham together so this was bound to appeal to me. It hasn't been Kneegs or Fratboy tested yet though to YMMV.
Nutritional Information
Calories: 250 (26% from fat)
Fat: 7.1g (sat 3.4g,mono 2.4g,poly 0.7g)
Protein: 16g
Carbohydrate: 30.9g
Fiber: 2.7g
Cholesterol: 52mg
Iron: 2.6mg
Sodium: 835mg
Calcium: 114mg