Memo To The Management of Dance Cave
Dear Sirs,
Thank you for your letter, entitled "Stay Out Of Our Club You Immoral, Psychotic Danger To Society", dated April 1st. Given the serious nature of the allegations within I've chosen to ignore the rather suspicious date and thank you for the opportunity to respond. It appears there are a great many misconceptions that could benefit from a bit more information.
While it may be true that certain conversations regarding asses and licking did in fact take place, I can assure you at no point were any demonstrations of said "lewd and illegal act" performed upon your premises. Much to my amazement the participants of said conversation were sufficiently horrified and sickened by the mere thought of the act, to ever consider trying it. More's the pity. Poor prudes don't know what they're missing. But I digress.
And while I'm sorry to confirm there was indeed a "wrestling incident", I can assure you said incident involved arm wrestling with woundedtiger over my age, not "naked jello wrestling for first dibs on debauching underage virgins". Which incidentally I won, so henceforth am able to lay claim to whatever age I choose in any given circumstance. But, again, I digress.
Lastly, while there may have been somewhat questionable and suggestive dance moves performed, I would certainly hesitate to call it lap dancing, let alone "the skanky gyrations of a bitch in heat". Taste is so subjective, no? Regardless of how you may choose to classify it, I can certainly guarantee you that no beavers, or any other animals for that matter, were either exposed or otherwise harmed during the performance in question.
I thank you for you time and for providing the opportunity to clear up these little misconceptions.
See you next week!
Affectionately,
Your Most Psychotic and Immoral Patron, Lexi
Thank you for your letter, entitled "Stay Out Of Our Club You Immoral, Psychotic Danger To Society", dated April 1st. Given the serious nature of the allegations within I've chosen to ignore the rather suspicious date and thank you for the opportunity to respond. It appears there are a great many misconceptions that could benefit from a bit more information.
While it may be true that certain conversations regarding asses and licking did in fact take place, I can assure you at no point were any demonstrations of said "lewd and illegal act" performed upon your premises. Much to my amazement the participants of said conversation were sufficiently horrified and sickened by the mere thought of the act, to ever consider trying it. More's the pity. Poor prudes don't know what they're missing. But I digress.
And while I'm sorry to confirm there was indeed a "wrestling incident", I can assure you said incident involved arm wrestling with woundedtiger over my age, not "naked jello wrestling for first dibs on debauching underage virgins". Which incidentally I won, so henceforth am able to lay claim to whatever age I choose in any given circumstance. But, again, I digress.
Lastly, while there may have been somewhat questionable and suggestive dance moves performed, I would certainly hesitate to call it lap dancing, let alone "the skanky gyrations of a bitch in heat". Taste is so subjective, no? Regardless of how you may choose to classify it, I can certainly guarantee you that no beavers, or any other animals for that matter, were either exposed or otherwise harmed during the performance in question.
I thank you for you time and for providing the opportunity to clear up these little misconceptions.
See you next week!
Affectionately,
Your Most Psychotic and Immoral Patron, Lexi