My unfailing neuroticism
Is that even a word?
Okay so I went to breakfast on my own because Will had to go to work early. So I get dressed and trot down to the dining room, feeling quite confident because I know how I'm meant to order breakfast (each mess is different - some you serve yourself, others you order everything from the staff, some you only order hot food, some you have to write down requests etc etc). I go in, and cleverly (well I think it's clever at the time) saunter over to get some grapefruit juice and check back and get a paper, so the mess staff see me and I can order a bacon sandwich and everything will be fine and happy.
But of course, I sit down, and the mess staff don't see me, and because I'm sitting with two strangers and I don't really know what I should do I just sit there going red, and I wonder whether I can just get up and go over to the staff and ask, and I probably can but I've left it too late now. I can't go back and get toast or cereal because then everyone will know I originally wanted hot food but couldn't get the attention of the mess staff. So I sit there with some juice and the times and pretend like it's what I meant to do all along. In fact I even go and get another grapefruit juice.
I AM SO FUCKING HUNGRY.
But of course I can't admit this to Will so I lie and say that I feel sick and I'm not hungry so he doesn't realise how socially inept I am. And now I can't even make up for it at lunch because I've said I don't feel well. It's like when you tell your parents you're sick so you can stay off school and then it backfires because they make you lay in bed all day with the light off.
I can't stop thinking of bacon sandwiches.
And now I can't even eat the food I have in the room because Will's got a cold so he can't fly so he's hanging around waiting for doctor's appt. I am going to lose so much weight here if I can't pluck up the courage to ask for food. Welcome to the insane world of Liz.