TW Fic: Dear Jack.
Hello there. I bring you fic. Could possibly be the first post-S3 fic on LJ, who knows? Anyway, it's something I've had in my head for at least a year, but finally wrote it down tonight. (It's very short, and not really a fic at all to be honest. I just don't know what else to call it.) Notes etc under cut. Thank you's to Kathy for the super swift beta.
I don't think this needs much explaining, really. My thinking is that Ianto wrote it after Owen died (the first time), and gave it to Martha to look after. (If he hid it in the Hub, Jack might find it...)
Dear Jack
If you are holding this letter, then I am dead. I hope that I was doing something brave and heroic. (If it was a weevil, please lie in the report.)
But, that is not why I am writing this. I know you, Jack, and whatever happened you will blame yourself. Don't. Because I came to you. Always remember that. I sought you out, and I knew exactly what I was letting myself in for. I'd seen with my own eyes what's out there, and what it does to people.
After Lisa died I could have walked away, but I didn't - Torchwood was the only thing I had left. Torchwood and you. And I hated you for that, I think, but I also clung on like a drowning man. Everyone needs something to believe in, a reason to go on... I fantasised about killing myself back then, so many times, but I knew that you needed me, that there was a job to get done, so I'd always leave it until tomorrow. Do you need me? A little bit, I hope. What I know is that I needed you - still do, at time of writing, and that's not likely to change.
And, in case I never get round to actually saying it - I love you. We all do. (Even Owen, although he'll never say it.) It's you who keeps us here, you who gives us purpose. None of us want to be anywhere else, trust me.
There is only one more thing. A last request, if you will. Could you please put me next to Lisa? I kept a space empty.
Yours,
Ianto Jones
I don't think this needs much explaining, really. My thinking is that Ianto wrote it after Owen died (the first time), and gave it to Martha to look after. (If he hid it in the Hub, Jack might find it...)
Dear Jack
If you are holding this letter, then I am dead. I hope that I was doing something brave and heroic. (If it was a weevil, please lie in the report.)
But, that is not why I am writing this. I know you, Jack, and whatever happened you will blame yourself. Don't. Because I came to you. Always remember that. I sought you out, and I knew exactly what I was letting myself in for. I'd seen with my own eyes what's out there, and what it does to people.
After Lisa died I could have walked away, but I didn't - Torchwood was the only thing I had left. Torchwood and you. And I hated you for that, I think, but I also clung on like a drowning man. Everyone needs something to believe in, a reason to go on... I fantasised about killing myself back then, so many times, but I knew that you needed me, that there was a job to get done, so I'd always leave it until tomorrow. Do you need me? A little bit, I hope. What I know is that I needed you - still do, at time of writing, and that's not likely to change.
And, in case I never get round to actually saying it - I love you. We all do. (Even Owen, although he'll never say it.) It's you who keeps us here, you who gives us purpose. None of us want to be anywhere else, trust me.
There is only one more thing. A last request, if you will. Could you please put me next to Lisa? I kept a space empty.
Yours,
Ianto Jones