Just a silly drabble
Title: Bad Reputation
Characters: fem!Ivankov and Crocodile
Rating: PG
Genre: crack and general silliness
Summary: Being associated with a gender-bending okama can be hell on your rep!
Bad Reputation
"Ivankov!"
The okama lifted her enormous head irritably from the lawn chair. It had been quite a long time since she'd had the opportunity to work on her tan, what with being stuck in Impel Down and all, so she'd taken advantage of the brief respite to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine. Where on earth did that galling former Shichibukai find the nerve to interrupt her precious quiet time?!
"Vhat is it Croco-boy?" She snapped, turning to offer a tantalizing view of her feminine physique. She might as well have been a sickly leper for all the brief glance he gave her!
"What the hell is this?" He shoved a newspaper into her face.
Iva took it from him and glanced at it in curiously. Hmm…the gossip section. Hardly the usual place one would expect a man like Croc- Oh? Oh.
The Mystery of a Former Shichibukai: A Hidden Past of Gender Change?
The former Shichibukai, Sir Crocodile, has recently been the subject of scandalous debate, with both his subversive activity as the secret leader of a crime syndicate as well as his alliance with the notorious Straw Hat Luffy during the devastating war on Marineford. What secrets is this mysterious figure hiding from the world? Who is the man behind the poisonous hook? Or was he a man to begin with?
Recent reports indicate a past with the last person one would expect to associate with such a charismatic and sophisticated pirate; that of Emporio Ivankov, the infamous revolutionary and Queen of Okamas. An interview with a traumatized guard at Impel Down revealed a shocking discovery: Emporio Ivankov is evidently privy to a sensitive secret regarding the subversive former-Shichibukai's past.
"All the okama had to do was threaten to reveal some kind of 'precious weakness' and Crocodile just shut up and went along with the escape," The guard, who wished to remain anonymous, revealed, "He seemed really shaken up by the threat of having it let out."
The guard himself was exposed to one of Ivankov's dastardly techniques with the use of the Horu Horu Devil Fruit: his gender was changed to that of a female. In fact, many of the criminals associated with the infamous okama were also subject to this horrifying and vile technique.
Would it be so difficult to believe, dear readers, that our own ex-Shichibukai was subject to the same transformation? Could Sir Crocodile have in fact originally been Lady Crocodile?
"It makes sense," Miss Doublefinger, a former Baroque Works agent, stated, "I mean, Mr. Zero was pretty firm on having women high up in the agency as well as men. Competent female agents, not just bimbos! You don't find that with a lot of male employers!"
Almost nothing before his ascension to the status of Shichibukai is known about the mysterious Sir Crocodile. Does Crocodile's connection to Ivankov indicate such a transformation took place? This reporter can only speculate that "Sir" Crocodile's mysterious connection with the outrageous okama queen signifies a perverse and shameful history.
The okama was already rolling off of the lawn chair in hysterical laughter. Her heavy mascara was running with the merry tears that streamed down her cheeks as she kicked the air in convulsing giggles.
Crocodile just glared stonily at the amused okama.
"This is entirely your fault, you bastard." The former Shichibukai ground out.
"Darling," Iva giggled, finally calming down a bit to pull herself up and face him with a smug grin, "Vhat's the point in getting upset? It's just gossip, Croco-boy, idle gossip. It'll pass."
Crocodile just growled as he snatched up the offense article and vengefully crumbled it to dust.
"It had better. For your sake."
Two weeks later…
Crocodile stormed on deck, a torn newspaper fluttering helplessly in his hand.
The wrinkled headline faintly read:
Crocodile: former lover of Revolutionary Dragon? Straw Hat Luffy their secret lovechild?
"IVANKOV!!!"
Hey, I know I'm not the only one tickled about the rumors floating around the OP forums about Crocodile's connection to Iva! I honestly doubt it's something as conventional as gender-bending, but I know that gossip rags are the same in every 'verse! :)