For God's SAKE ALREADY!!!
So the man formerly known as Mr. Piece came over this morning. I opened the door half asleep and as he walked in he excitedly proclaimed:
Him: "I didn't want to tell you this before because I thought you would be mad, but I entered one of your poems in a poetry contest."
Now I am starting to wake up.
Me: "What Fucking poem?"
Him: "You know, one of the poems from that red notebook."
Now I am getting hysterical.
Me: "You mean one of the poems that I wrote when I was 12 years old? ONE OF THE POEMS THAT I READ TO MY FRIENDS WHEN THEY ARE FEELING BAD AND NEED A GOOD LAUGH????"
Him: "What? They are good! Anyway, I entered it, and you WON!"
At that point I was completely wigging out. My mind was racing praying he didn't send the one I wrote about Wes in which I pondered whether his red hair and freckles were DOWN THERE as well.
Me: "Oh fucking God! Which one?"
Him: "This one!"
At this point I was completely panicking. I snatched the poem from his cold evil fingers and realized it was the poem I wrote for this guy Shawn who used to follow me around middle school and smelled like beans and grease. He moved to vegas and kept writing me letters so I sent him this poem to get him off my back:
I don't know how to say this,
Because I don't want to let you go,
This is something that's been on my mind,
and I really think you should know.
I've been thinking really hard,
and I still dont know what to do,
but I guess I should get it out right now:
I'm just not in love with you.
I just kept on putting it off,
right from the very start,
I didn't want to hurt your feelings
I didnt want to break your heart.
So please just read this over
and call me when your threw.
I am sorry you had to know this way
I am sorry about hurting you.
I guess I am very new at this,
in fact, it's never happened to me before,
but I guess I won't be seeing you
because I just don't love you anymore. (Besides, I am in love with John Johnson. We have been seeing eachother for months. SORRY!)
Lucky Star.
Me: "YOU PUT MY PEN NAME ON THERE!!!???"
Him: "Oh yeah! I thought it gave you flair!"
Me: "YOU DIDN'T EVEN FIX THE SPELLING MISTAKES!!"
Him: "I thought it would lose it's integrity if I changed it."
Me: "I HATE YOU AND I HATE YOUR FACE!!!"
Him: "They want you to read it at the Kennedy Center when you go collect your prize money."
Me: "How much prize money?"
Him: "5000 dollars"
Me: "well, i guess the poem isn't THAT bad. For that money I'd wear a bikini and a bowler hat!"
Him: "Here is the award letter..."
He hands me the letter.
In big, bold, black letters it said:
APRIL FOOLS DUMBASS!!!!
I hate him.
Him: "I didn't want to tell you this before because I thought you would be mad, but I entered one of your poems in a poetry contest."
Now I am starting to wake up.
Me: "What Fucking poem?"
Him: "You know, one of the poems from that red notebook."
Now I am getting hysterical.
Me: "You mean one of the poems that I wrote when I was 12 years old? ONE OF THE POEMS THAT I READ TO MY FRIENDS WHEN THEY ARE FEELING BAD AND NEED A GOOD LAUGH????"
Him: "What? They are good! Anyway, I entered it, and you WON!"
At that point I was completely wigging out. My mind was racing praying he didn't send the one I wrote about Wes in which I pondered whether his red hair and freckles were DOWN THERE as well.
Me: "Oh fucking God! Which one?"
Him: "This one!"
At this point I was completely panicking. I snatched the poem from his cold evil fingers and realized it was the poem I wrote for this guy Shawn who used to follow me around middle school and smelled like beans and grease. He moved to vegas and kept writing me letters so I sent him this poem to get him off my back:
I don't know how to say this,
Because I don't want to let you go,
This is something that's been on my mind,
and I really think you should know.
I've been thinking really hard,
and I still dont know what to do,
but I guess I should get it out right now:
I'm just not in love with you.
I just kept on putting it off,
right from the very start,
I didn't want to hurt your feelings
I didnt want to break your heart.
So please just read this over
and call me when your threw.
I am sorry you had to know this way
I am sorry about hurting you.
I guess I am very new at this,
in fact, it's never happened to me before,
but I guess I won't be seeing you
because I just don't love you anymore. (Besides, I am in love with John Johnson. We have been seeing eachother for months. SORRY!)
Lucky Star.
Me: "YOU PUT MY PEN NAME ON THERE!!!???"
Him: "Oh yeah! I thought it gave you flair!"
Me: "YOU DIDN'T EVEN FIX THE SPELLING MISTAKES!!"
Him: "I thought it would lose it's integrity if I changed it."
Me: "I HATE YOU AND I HATE YOUR FACE!!!"
Him: "They want you to read it at the Kennedy Center when you go collect your prize money."
Me: "How much prize money?"
Him: "5000 dollars"
Me: "well, i guess the poem isn't THAT bad. For that money I'd wear a bikini and a bowler hat!"
Him: "Here is the award letter..."
He hands me the letter.
In big, bold, black letters it said:
APRIL FOOLS DUMBASS!!!!
I hate him.