complicated
How do you make a relationship work? I think that i may be fundamentally unable to have a relationship that will last. Am I so flawed that I cant do it. He says that he loves me, but why? I am a jealous person I fight with him about the silliest things, I am oversensitive most of the time and my emotions could be the worlds best roller coaster. Every time he talks to me I get angry.
Why am I so sensitive to silly things, why are my feelings hurt every time i turn around. why is it that my mind feels like it is being squeezed shut and i am swirling in a drowning despair.... It feels like i am drowning in saddness but i cant figure out why. I cant sleep anymore and when i do I have the worst nightmares of my chest being pushed in and my heart racing and not being able to breath. I get no pleasure out of eating or reading or working or anything any more i just want to sleep and cry and be left alone.
Some days there is happy and it is the most amazing happy, like there is no way to be happier in this world but again there is no reason for the happy it is just there. I know that i have been busy lately with work and my refresher and the class that i am taking and ryan and school, the list just goes on and on, I really hate the holidays. There is never enough money and the happy that we are supposed to be seems fake and stupid. I do love him. more than i have ever wanted to love anyone in the world, I do want this to work out but i dont know how to make that happen. I think sometimes i push too hard. I am not sure what to do
Why am I so sensitive to silly things, why are my feelings hurt every time i turn around. why is it that my mind feels like it is being squeezed shut and i am swirling in a drowning despair.... It feels like i am drowning in saddness but i cant figure out why. I cant sleep anymore and when i do I have the worst nightmares of my chest being pushed in and my heart racing and not being able to breath. I get no pleasure out of eating or reading or working or anything any more i just want to sleep and cry and be left alone.
Some days there is happy and it is the most amazing happy, like there is no way to be happier in this world but again there is no reason for the happy it is just there. I know that i have been busy lately with work and my refresher and the class that i am taking and ryan and school, the list just goes on and on, I really hate the holidays. There is never enough money and the happy that we are supposed to be seems fake and stupid. I do love him. more than i have ever wanted to love anyone in the world, I do want this to work out but i dont know how to make that happen. I think sometimes i push too hard. I am not sure what to do