Finally finished
These words I borrowed from another journal:
I wish you could comprehend a wife's horror at 3 in the morning as I check her husband of 40 years for a pulse and find none.
I start CPR anyway, hoping to bring him back, knowing intuitively it is too late.
But wanting his wife and family to know everything possible was done to save his life.
I wish you could read my mind as I respond to an EMS call, "What is wrong with the patient?
Is it minor or life threatening? Is the caller really in distress or is he waiting for us with a 2x4 or a gun?"
I wish you could be in the emergency room as a doctor pronounces dead the beautiful five-year old girl that I have been trying to save during the last 25 minutes.
Who will never go on her first date or say the words, "I love you mommy" again.
I wish you could know the frustration I feel in the cab of the engine, squad, or my personal vehicle, the driver with his foot pressing down hard on the pedal, my arm tugging again and again at the air horn chain, as you fail to yield the right-of-way at an intersection or in traffic.
When you need us however, your first comment upon arrival will be, "It took you forever to get here!"
I wish you could know my thoughts as I help extricate a girl of teenage years from the remains of her automobile.
What if this was my sister, my girlfriend or a friend?
What were her parents' reaction going to be when they open the door to find a police officer with hat in hand?
I wish you cold know how it feel to walk i nthe back door and greet my parents and family, not having the heart to tell them that I nearly did not come back from the last call.
I wish you could know how it feels dispatching an officer, fireman, or EMT out and when we call for them and our heart drops because no one answers back or to hear the bone chilling 911 call of a child or wife needing assistance.
I wish you could feel the hurt as people verbally, and sometimes physically, abuse us or belittle what we do, or as they express their attitudes of "It will never happen to me."
I wish you could realize the physical, emotional and mental drain or missed meals, lost sleep and forgone social activities, in addition to all the tragedy my life has seen.
I wish you could know the brotherhood and self-satisfation of helping save a life, or being able to be there in time of crisis, or creating order from total chaos.
I wish you could understand what it feels like to have a little boy tugging at your arm and asking, "Is Mommy okay?"
Not even being able to look in his eyes without tears from your own and not knowing what to say.
Or to have to hold back a long time friend who watches his buddy having rescue breathing done on hims as they take him away in the ambulance.
You know all along he did not have his seatbelt on.
A sensation that I have become too familiar with.
Unless you have lived with this kind of life, you will never truly understand or appriciate who I am, we are, or what our job really means to uss....I wish you could, though.
This is part of the reason I have always wanted to be a paramedic, it is just a little bit of how i really feel about the profession. I finally finished school yesterday 9 months of classes and 450 hours of clinical with a field intership to start soon, so that i can do this kind of work. I love it and wouldnt trade it for the world.
I wish you could comprehend a wife's horror at 3 in the morning as I check her husband of 40 years for a pulse and find none.
I start CPR anyway, hoping to bring him back, knowing intuitively it is too late.
But wanting his wife and family to know everything possible was done to save his life.
I wish you could read my mind as I respond to an EMS call, "What is wrong with the patient?
Is it minor or life threatening? Is the caller really in distress or is he waiting for us with a 2x4 or a gun?"
I wish you could be in the emergency room as a doctor pronounces dead the beautiful five-year old girl that I have been trying to save during the last 25 minutes.
Who will never go on her first date or say the words, "I love you mommy" again.
I wish you could know the frustration I feel in the cab of the engine, squad, or my personal vehicle, the driver with his foot pressing down hard on the pedal, my arm tugging again and again at the air horn chain, as you fail to yield the right-of-way at an intersection or in traffic.
When you need us however, your first comment upon arrival will be, "It took you forever to get here!"
I wish you could know my thoughts as I help extricate a girl of teenage years from the remains of her automobile.
What if this was my sister, my girlfriend or a friend?
What were her parents' reaction going to be when they open the door to find a police officer with hat in hand?
I wish you cold know how it feel to walk i nthe back door and greet my parents and family, not having the heart to tell them that I nearly did not come back from the last call.
I wish you could know how it feels dispatching an officer, fireman, or EMT out and when we call for them and our heart drops because no one answers back or to hear the bone chilling 911 call of a child or wife needing assistance.
I wish you could feel the hurt as people verbally, and sometimes physically, abuse us or belittle what we do, or as they express their attitudes of "It will never happen to me."
I wish you could realize the physical, emotional and mental drain or missed meals, lost sleep and forgone social activities, in addition to all the tragedy my life has seen.
I wish you could know the brotherhood and self-satisfation of helping save a life, or being able to be there in time of crisis, or creating order from total chaos.
I wish you could understand what it feels like to have a little boy tugging at your arm and asking, "Is Mommy okay?"
Not even being able to look in his eyes without tears from your own and not knowing what to say.
Or to have to hold back a long time friend who watches his buddy having rescue breathing done on hims as they take him away in the ambulance.
You know all along he did not have his seatbelt on.
A sensation that I have become too familiar with.
Unless you have lived with this kind of life, you will never truly understand or appriciate who I am, we are, or what our job really means to uss....I wish you could, though.
This is part of the reason I have always wanted to be a paramedic, it is just a little bit of how i really feel about the profession. I finally finished school yesterday 9 months of classes and 450 hours of clinical with a field intership to start soon, so that i can do this kind of work. I love it and wouldnt trade it for the world.