Comments | elisa_trapt: The First Time, Chapter 4

elisa_trapt

The First Time, Chapter 4

Aug 15, 2010 21:12

Title: The First Time
Rating: Mild R
A/N: Don't have too much to say tonight. It's been a looong week, and a looong weekend. I love my friends dearly, but I wish they'd stop getting married for about 5 minutes so I (and my bank account) could take a breath. But at least the wedding this weekend ended happily, not tragically, since as far as I know, ( Read more... )

pepsi, fanfiction, the first time, los hombres de paco, pepsi fanfiction, fanfic

Comments 24

bsofthewest August 16 2010, 15:30:56 UTC

RIVETING!
You have written, perhaps, the perfect paragraph:
"Because tonight, she had just woken up and thought Silvia was beside her. And for three seconds, for three fucking seconds, Pepa had been immeasurably, profoundly, perfectly happy. Because she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she could turn toward Silvia, put her arms around her, and the redhead would burrow into her, mouth open against the crook of her shoulder. If she were really lucky, Silvia would wake just enough to sigh contentedly and lean up for a lazy kiss, before falling immediately back to sleep. And Pepa, absurdly pleased, would hold her close, and have no trouble falling back to sleep either."
You know I am right!

pepsifangirl August 16 2010, 21:09:46 UTC

I agree, this paragraph was really well-written.

elisa_trapt August 17 2010, 01:38:36 UTC

Well, wow. I don't know about perfect, but I'm very flattered. Mostly b/c I'm putting Pepa through the wringer, and you guys haven't come after me w/ pitchforks and burning torches yet. But I suppose there's still time.

Argh, writing Pepa in these first few chapters was not fun. I mean, I love writing so in once sense it was, but in another I hated doing this stuff to her. Can you imagine, waking up and thinking Silvia was beside her? B/c she was all sleepy and disoriented. Good God.

Jeez, on second thought, maybe you SHOULD get a pitchfork and come after me....I think I'm depressing MYSELF!

pepsifangirl August 17 2010, 13:29:54 UTC

Haha, this is a depressing plot to write about, but you happen to have great writing skills. I intend to see this through to the end -- and no pitchforks, I promise! ;-)

I am definitely curious as to how you'll handle the fuckeduppery that was S9. The LHdP writers made Pepa do a number of things in that season that made me actually dislike the character, and they never resolved them properly either.

supercontenta August 17 2010, 00:49:36 UTC

Really well written? Pashaw! It is THE BEST PARAGRAPH IN THE WORLD. I have proclaimed it. Therefore it is true.

I feel rather emperor-like today. Did you notice?

lovelyafterglow August 17 2010, 00:53:40 UTC

And are you wearing your "new clothes"?

supercontenta August 17 2010, 01:21:15 UTC

You must be referring to that embarrassing incident involving my cousin... yes, it was my cousin. A DISTANT cousin by marriage. Not a blood relation. *nods*

I, myself, of am sound mind. Go ahead. Test me!

supercontenta August 17 2010, 01:22:40 UTC

um... What I *meant* to say was: I, myself, AM OF sound mind.

Looks like I failed the test before it was even given...

*slow tear drop, fade to black*

Thread 11

lovelyafterglow August 17 2010, 00:56:08 UTC

Another excellent (and utterly tragic...this story is so breaking my heart all over again) chapter.

Keep up the great and quick updates! :-)

elisa_trapt August 17 2010, 01:48:25 UTC

Thanks, lovely.

I do promise to eventually stop stomping on everyone's heart. Just...not today. Pepa's got a few more things to work through before she starts pulling out of this horrible place she's in.

lovelyafterglow August 17 2010, 02:43:40 UTC

Yeah, but...even when Pepa gets better, it's still gonna break my heart. Because Pepa will be giving her love to someone else and Silvia...well, Silvia will still be dead and buried (I'll try not to get too morbid here).

*sigh* (PepSi por siempre!)

pantherwalks August 17 2010, 18:16:56 UTC

Another excellent chapter elisa (can i call you elisa?).

I don't know, why since i read your fic it reminds me of Shania Twains song: It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing. It is a really sad song. And the lyrics kinda fit on what Pepa is going through.

Thanks for the fast update. :) Can't wait for the next chap.

elisa_trapt August 17 2010, 22:28:41 UTC

Of course you can call me Elisa! May I be so bold as to address you as panther?

I haven't heard that song, I don't think, but I do like Shania. I will have to go find it and listen to it now. But by the title alone, it does suggest some of what Pepa's going through. I consider it somewhat of a miracle that she's breathing at all.

Thanks for the comment!

pantherwalks August 17 2010, 23:04:30 UTC

Thanks, Elisa. No, of course not. Panther is fine. I'm sorry i didn't mean it that way.

It's really a ngood song but really sad. I hope you'll like it when you heard of it.

elisa_trapt August 18 2010, 03:03:52 UTC

Oh, panther, no worries! I'm just messing w/ you! I'm glad we're on a first name basis. :)

And I just listened to the song - ouch. Really pretty song, but ouch. You're right - that's very much Pepa right now. :( (Incidentally, I see it's from the album "Up" which I OWN. Clearly, I haven't listened to it very much!)

junebuggy01 August 24 2010, 21:57:33 UTC

Beautiful... but can I come after you with a pitchfork for for breaking my PepSi loving heart? It won't be a surprise cuz you said you thought we would. *Smiles with pitchfork*

But first, I must read forward... then maybe use my pitchfork. *nods*

elisa_trapt August 25 2010, 02:19:05 UTC

What! Hey! Put that away! I meant, you know, METAPHORIC pitchforks. Not real ones - ow!

Sheesh, juney. Four chapters and you're already turning violent....

I'm gonna have to call security. Except I suspect they're actually in supercontenta's employ. And she's not so happy w/ me right now. Steal a girl's crown and she gets so snippy....

But listen, you just back up nice and slowly with that pointy thing....