Reverse mid-life crisis.
This past few months, I've had a bit of an epiphany.
I've had more jobs than I can count, I've lost a lot of friends due to being unreliable.
I've never in my life been really stable, either financially, mentally, emotionally, or any other way you can think of.
I've let down a lot of people who've depended on me over the years, and it isn't until much later that I overcome the apathy enough to care, to regret.
In my adult life, I've had my drivers license suspended a cumulative total of over two and a half years, all due to me being stupid and not doing what I should to take care of it.
I've been in jail twice in the space of a year, admittedly for stupid reasons (On my part and theirs). I'm the only person in my immediate family that has ever been to jail.
I've lived my whole life with words like "Foreclosure" and "Shutoff notice" and "Cancellation" as common words heard in my household several times a month.
All my shit is old, broken or about to break, and most of what I own is not even worth dropping off at the D.I. Most of what I have that people think is nice are things that I don't actually own, but am borrowing from Kitten, or my family.
The only reason why I still have a place to live, and haven't been out on the street is because my fiance and my parents have been supporting my lazy stupid ass.
I've let so many good things pass me by because I am too prone to sloth and apathy. I've failed to fight for the good things because I just can't work up the effort.
I've had what I call a reverse mid-life crisis.
As I look around and realize that after more than a quarter century of being alive, its past time for me to grow the fuck up.
This job is the first step. It's about time to fix the burnt out wreck I've made of my life.
It's time to make myself worthy of what others mistakenly think of me.
--Elin
I've had more jobs than I can count, I've lost a lot of friends due to being unreliable.
I've never in my life been really stable, either financially, mentally, emotionally, or any other way you can think of.
I've let down a lot of people who've depended on me over the years, and it isn't until much later that I overcome the apathy enough to care, to regret.
In my adult life, I've had my drivers license suspended a cumulative total of over two and a half years, all due to me being stupid and not doing what I should to take care of it.
I've been in jail twice in the space of a year, admittedly for stupid reasons (On my part and theirs). I'm the only person in my immediate family that has ever been to jail.
I've lived my whole life with words like "Foreclosure" and "Shutoff notice" and "Cancellation" as common words heard in my household several times a month.
All my shit is old, broken or about to break, and most of what I own is not even worth dropping off at the D.I. Most of what I have that people think is nice are things that I don't actually own, but am borrowing from Kitten, or my family.
The only reason why I still have a place to live, and haven't been out on the street is because my fiance and my parents have been supporting my lazy stupid ass.
I've let so many good things pass me by because I am too prone to sloth and apathy. I've failed to fight for the good things because I just can't work up the effort.
I've had what I call a reverse mid-life crisis.
As I look around and realize that after more than a quarter century of being alive, its past time for me to grow the fuck up.
This job is the first step. It's about time to fix the burnt out wreck I've made of my life.
It's time to make myself worthy of what others mistakenly think of me.
--Elin