So.
Last night my dog, Sierra, got hit by a vehicle, and died. She was only about 4 years old. We don't know exactly what happened; this morning someone stopped by and told us that there was a dog on the highway that they thought was ours. (I really wish I could thank that person SO MUCH for taking their time out to tell us. It was so much better this way)
She didn't have any kind of...damage..on her, so we're assuming she got hit instantly and died. That was a relief, at least.
Dad and I picked her up, and took her home, and buried her. The whole time I was in some kind of a shock. It was like this was someone else's dog I was looking at. I've gone through a lot of grief and crying, but part of me still feels like that. It just seems unbelievable, that if I got outside she'll come running up to me, you know?
I feel really sad, and really angry. It's like, why did she have to die when she was so happy and so loved? It just seems so senseless. Based on my own spiritual experiences, I have faith that she's ok, and she's gone to a good place. I just...from this point of view, I have to wonder WHY, you know? A spoiled part of me feels incredulous; I want her here. I want her to be happy and loved here. It's like, where did she go? Why can't she come home? Why not, when she was right here yesterday?
The last time a pet died was about 4 years ago, so it's not fun to be rediscovering these feelings. All of my other dogs, though, they died of complications from their older ages. Sierra was healthy, and happy, and young. So it's an incredibly awful shock.
I don't blame myself, or the truck driver, or Sierra. I just...it happened, you know? It was a circumstance that created the opportunity for it to happen. Even understanding that, I still feel awful, you know? It's hard, as a human, to try and reconcile your thoughts and your feelings.
She didn't have any kind of...damage..on her, so we're assuming she got hit instantly and died. That was a relief, at least.
Dad and I picked her up, and took her home, and buried her. The whole time I was in some kind of a shock. It was like this was someone else's dog I was looking at. I've gone through a lot of grief and crying, but part of me still feels like that. It just seems unbelievable, that if I got outside she'll come running up to me, you know?
I feel really sad, and really angry. It's like, why did she have to die when she was so happy and so loved? It just seems so senseless. Based on my own spiritual experiences, I have faith that she's ok, and she's gone to a good place. I just...from this point of view, I have to wonder WHY, you know? A spoiled part of me feels incredulous; I want her here. I want her to be happy and loved here. It's like, where did she go? Why can't she come home? Why not, when she was right here yesterday?
The last time a pet died was about 4 years ago, so it's not fun to be rediscovering these feelings. All of my other dogs, though, they died of complications from their older ages. Sierra was healthy, and happy, and young. So it's an incredibly awful shock.
I don't blame myself, or the truck driver, or Sierra. I just...it happened, you know? It was a circumstance that created the opportunity for it to happen. Even understanding that, I still feel awful, you know? It's hard, as a human, to try and reconcile your thoughts and your feelings.