What I learned from the BJD fandom.
I'm really glad I "left" the bjd fandom. Well, more like wrote a tl;dr self-righteous goodbye message and stopped visiting doll sites for a long time. I'm glad I did, because abstaining helped me to reflect and realize some things that it was hard to see before.
1) Don't buy anything unless it *really* grabs you. Deep down, you know what you really want. If it doesn't fit your standards, don't buy it! And don't try to fit what's available into something to what you want. Either settle for what you really want, or settle for nothing at all. I know that seems ludicrious, most of life seems to be about comprimising...but I honestly believe that money should be spent on things that have a strong value to you. Sometimes a $30 doll can be just as satisfying as a $500 one.
2) There's liking people's dolls, and there's liking people because they're good people. The two concepts don't *always* go together. If someone's a bitch, go ahead and admire their dolls. If a friend of yours has crappy dolls, you don't have to feel guilty about not liking them. What really matters is not how you feel, but how you treat other people based on your feelings.
3) It's *very* easy for mass opinions to change what you like or dislike. And sometimes you won't even know it. Take some time and get to know yourself.
4) Sometimes you have to stand by someone even if it seems like EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD things you and they are wrong. It's not fun or easy. But the alternative sucks, too.
5) Many people are insecure and don't like themselves, and project it in lots of ways. It's uncomfortable to see, but it's a fact of life. If you spend a lot of time criticising these people and finding faults in them, you may be doing this to push your own insecurities out of your mind.
6) Some day, you'll look back, see what you wrote and how you acted...and bang your head on the keyboard. I barely know the person I was a year ago. Good god did she have a self-righteous, fandom-feuled temper.
7) Don't do anything in a hobby unless it's fun. Or if it's delayed gratification: i.e. you're doing something unfun now to get something fun later. If you feel *compelled* to do something and doing it makes you feel unsatisfied, reexamine where the compulsion comes from.
8) You're going to do things the masses don't like. And Yes, you feel better and more correct when it seems like everyone is agreeing with you. But christ, these are things like what kind of paint you put on an inanimate object's face. That's like feeling good because you're in a group of people who all wear pink earrings: it's a really, really weak bond. Go ahead and put whatever the hell paint you want on your doll and get over the fact people will want to try and intimidate and guilt you out of it.
9) Girls are damned scary.
I still don't want to go back into the doll fandom, probably ever. But I feel like I have a lot more peace with where I am. Back at square one, but with a little more knowledge under my belt this time, I guess? Wanting to look at pretty dolls and be happy, as well as meeting nice people with the same interest.
1) Don't buy anything unless it *really* grabs you. Deep down, you know what you really want. If it doesn't fit your standards, don't buy it! And don't try to fit what's available into something to what you want. Either settle for what you really want, or settle for nothing at all. I know that seems ludicrious, most of life seems to be about comprimising...but I honestly believe that money should be spent on things that have a strong value to you. Sometimes a $30 doll can be just as satisfying as a $500 one.
2) There's liking people's dolls, and there's liking people because they're good people. The two concepts don't *always* go together. If someone's a bitch, go ahead and admire their dolls. If a friend of yours has crappy dolls, you don't have to feel guilty about not liking them. What really matters is not how you feel, but how you treat other people based on your feelings.
3) It's *very* easy for mass opinions to change what you like or dislike. And sometimes you won't even know it. Take some time and get to know yourself.
4) Sometimes you have to stand by someone even if it seems like EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD things you and they are wrong. It's not fun or easy. But the alternative sucks, too.
5) Many people are insecure and don't like themselves, and project it in lots of ways. It's uncomfortable to see, but it's a fact of life. If you spend a lot of time criticising these people and finding faults in them, you may be doing this to push your own insecurities out of your mind.
6) Some day, you'll look back, see what you wrote and how you acted...and bang your head on the keyboard. I barely know the person I was a year ago. Good god did she have a self-righteous, fandom-feuled temper.
7) Don't do anything in a hobby unless it's fun. Or if it's delayed gratification: i.e. you're doing something unfun now to get something fun later. If you feel *compelled* to do something and doing it makes you feel unsatisfied, reexamine where the compulsion comes from.
8) You're going to do things the masses don't like. And Yes, you feel better and more correct when it seems like everyone is agreeing with you. But christ, these are things like what kind of paint you put on an inanimate object's face. That's like feeling good because you're in a group of people who all wear pink earrings: it's a really, really weak bond. Go ahead and put whatever the hell paint you want on your doll and get over the fact people will want to try and intimidate and guilt you out of it.
9) Girls are damned scary.
I still don't want to go back into the doll fandom, probably ever. But I feel like I have a lot more peace with where I am. Back at square one, but with a little more knowledge under my belt this time, I guess? Wanting to look at pretty dolls and be happy, as well as meeting nice people with the same interest.