I don't know...
how I can turn from being happy to strangely lifeless the next. I'm beginning to think I have a serious case of bipolarism...
Is it because of the upcoming week that I really do not look forward to?
Is it because I have no idea what I want to be in the future and I don't think I'm particularly skilled in anything? I put this thought in the back of my head but it recently began to bother me. a lot. Seriously, what am I doing with my life? I don't even know why I'm in the amsat program if I don't even like math or science. And why did I not take more art classes if that is what I'm into? Why do I try/study so hard yet nothing good ever comes from it? I mean. People don't even have to study for SAT's and they get like 1800... and it confuses me why they aren't even happy with that score. I don't understand my mind sometimes. And I don't know why I'm asking questions no one can answer. I just don't get it. Why do I see so much potential in everyone BUT me?
Or is it thinking of how much people change or is it me that is changing? I don't know anymore and it makes me sad to look at someone I used to be so close with and think how did we ever drift so far apart so fast? I know that you just have to let go from time to time but why can't they just stay? Why can't I hold on to them. Sometimes, I just think the world is turning too fast. All of a sudden I have this iron balloon crushing me down. ughhhhhhhhh
can't this balloon just float up to the bluest sky above. please.
I never really share this kind of stuff. And no, I am not the girl who's all happy and smiles all the time. I think I just felt desperate to let is spill today...