Yeah, you're f***ed alright...
And all for spite, you can kiss your sorry a** good-bye...
Words taken from the genius musical, Spring Awakening. But I really am effed...considering the fact that I just got grounded from the phone for a week for getting caught in the wrong place at the wrong time (and getting one of the best moments of my life ruined). Just my luck, right? Yeah.
Warning: This sounds like something that would happen in a movie or cheesy TV show, but I swear on the Bible it is the truth. (Unfortunately.)
So I'm at my parish picnic...and there's this guy who I went to gradeschool with. We'll call him "Mike", okay? And he is AMAZINGLY good-looking; and nice; and funny; and respectful, considerate, everything. The whole shabang. So I see him and wave, and he *gulp* comes over and actually strikes up a conversation with me. *EEEP!* Since this is the first time I've had a full-length conversation with an attractive guy without stuttering once, I keep getting frustrated every time someone interrupts. So we go sit down at one of the picnic tables and this very...large guy is trying to get through the narrow aisles between the chairs and he jostles his food. And he spills his beer RIGHT on me. Of course. OF COURSE.
But Mike is such a gentleman and goes with me while I'm half-suffering from heat stroke thanks to my now-burning face and he waits for me outside the bathroom. When I'm finally done and exit the restroom, I'm on the verge of tears because I'm so frustrated and embarrassed, but *sigh* he's nice and just tells me it's okay, he doesn't mind, don't worry, blah blah.
I'm still down in the dumps on the way back to the picnic tables, so he PUTS HIS ARM AROUND ME. And now I'm just freaking out and about to pass out from sheer excitement...until the "Mrs. Nosy" that everyone knows from school and hates (yeah, there's one everywhere) sees us coming back from the fairly empty gym (where the restrooms were); and after Mike leaves (DARNIT!) she comes up to me and starts torturing me with questions ("Why were you in there with Mike? Were you alone? What were you doing? You were doing something, weren't you?") (And gosh dangit, I am NOT a slut! I don't know how many times I've had to tell people that nothing was happening since this happened.)
So I just keep telling her that nothing happened, I was cleaning up because some bozo spilled beer on me and Mike was waiting for me, on and on. Well, of COURSE little miss nosy can't keep her fat mouth shut and starts telling people that I was in the gym getting it on with Mike! UNBEFREAKINGLIEVABLE! And word gets around, and somehow, some way, my parents find out. So now I'm stuck with no phone (they took it before I could call Mike and explain that is he hears anything, it WASN'T me). FML FML FML! *bangs head against brick wall*
But thankfully they didn't take away the computer, which is why I'm writing this in between messaging Mike on Facebook to do some rumor control. Hopefully this sorts itself out.
Until then, Mrs. Nosy had better learn to sleep with her eyes open. Because she DOESN'T want to know what I want to do to her. Hell hath no fury.
Carry on.
~Elise