hmph.
One of my favorite memories I have from being younger is when I was around five years old. At that time, my mom and I still lived with my grandparents. I remember I got really sick with the flu, and my mom and my grandma caught the same thing I had. I remember laying in between my mom and my nana all day in my grandparents king size bed watching tv. I can't distinctly remember the memory until around 6 pm, when my grandpa got home from work. I remember me, my mom, and my grandma, laying in bed watching Nick at Nite, all in our pajamas.
This is one of the times I can remember my family being 100% happy and okay with each other, with my mom and my grandpa not yelling about something insignificant. I remember laughing with my grandma over the fact my grandpa had to go in the kitchen and try to figure out how to heat up soup, and watching The Partridge Family while my mom talked about how she always hated that show. I remember being so young, and with a fever and exhausted, but happy just to be there in between my mom and my grandma. I don't know, it's kind of a weird memory, and I'd forgotten it mostly until last night when it hit me all of a sudden. The whole thing made me so happy, my mom and grandma just laughing and talking, and my grandpa coming in the room, not saying anything except his typical "....Hmmph!..." and laughing.
I don't know, I wish things were more like that now. I'm pretty sure I disapoint both of my grandparents. I'm not the perfect straight-A all star athlete good christian girl that they wanted me to be. I hardly even see them, because I don't know what to talk about. Especially with my grandma. My grandpa is more like me, we can talk and joke around. But my grandma... after about 30 minutes with her I have very little to say. And she always gives me these stares out of the corner of her eyes, and I knew that her and her sister do little but fixate on how chubby they think I am. My great aunt (her sister) freaking calls me once a week to find out how much I went to the gym. My grandma does nothing but suggest diets I should go on. Great, Merry Christmas to you too!! I wish I was younger, the better granddaughter. The one who went to church and was skinny and did ballet and tap. I wish it wouldn't be such a disappointment if i'm not accepted anywhere except for VCU. I wish they called me other than when they needed something. I wish my mom was more concerned with what was going on in my life.
This is one of the times I can remember my family being 100% happy and okay with each other, with my mom and my grandpa not yelling about something insignificant. I remember laughing with my grandma over the fact my grandpa had to go in the kitchen and try to figure out how to heat up soup, and watching The Partridge Family while my mom talked about how she always hated that show. I remember being so young, and with a fever and exhausted, but happy just to be there in between my mom and my grandma. I don't know, it's kind of a weird memory, and I'd forgotten it mostly until last night when it hit me all of a sudden. The whole thing made me so happy, my mom and grandma just laughing and talking, and my grandpa coming in the room, not saying anything except his typical "....Hmmph!..." and laughing.
I don't know, I wish things were more like that now. I'm pretty sure I disapoint both of my grandparents. I'm not the perfect straight-A all star athlete good christian girl that they wanted me to be. I hardly even see them, because I don't know what to talk about. Especially with my grandma. My grandpa is more like me, we can talk and joke around. But my grandma... after about 30 minutes with her I have very little to say. And she always gives me these stares out of the corner of her eyes, and I knew that her and her sister do little but fixate on how chubby they think I am. My great aunt (her sister) freaking calls me once a week to find out how much I went to the gym. My grandma does nothing but suggest diets I should go on. Great, Merry Christmas to you too!! I wish I was younger, the better granddaughter. The one who went to church and was skinny and did ballet and tap. I wish it wouldn't be such a disappointment if i'm not accepted anywhere except for VCU. I wish they called me other than when they needed something. I wish my mom was more concerned with what was going on in my life.