Funny! Not funny. Funny! Not funny.
Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and Mr. Sun has prepared the following tips to help you make the most of it:
Special shout-out to all you conservative ladies from men of all political persuasions: should you decide to preemptively and unilaterally invade our pants in a search for Weapons of Mass Eruption, I can promise you that you will be welcomed as a liberator.
Self-esteem is important, but not at the cost of self-deception: an inbox full of e-mail invitations to enlarge your penis is not the same as even a single greeting card from an actual girl. Keep it real, man.
While you may get a few more page views, liveblogging your Valentine's Day intimacy will not strengthen your relationship.
Please do not be fooled by the movie trailer. In real life, there are no black guys that can help white guys who look like Kevin James score hot chicks. Leave the brothers alone.
Men have great difficulty with gifts. Here is a simple tip that will prevent a major tragedy: if your gift has Atkins-Friendly stamped all over it, you have just clicked on www.doghouse.com.
If your Valentine's Day involves a combination of: solitude, beer, Pringles, and VH1's I Love The 90's -- now may be a good time to take a long, hard look at your life.
It's a fact that between sundown and sunrise on Valentine's Day evening it is not possible to get pregnant. Men, let your lady feel you inside of her.
Men, there is a foolproof way to check if your lady really loves you. On Valentine's Day, she will reveal to you one Divine Secret of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. If she doesn't, you are history.
Nothing says I love you, Valentine! like Mickey D's gift certificates -- the perfect anytime, anywhere gift! Okay, that was a test. If you were nodding your head, I'm afraid you are hopeless.
And to those of you who fall under this category, you have my sincere condolences...
Special shout-out to all you conservative ladies from men of all political persuasions: should you decide to preemptively and unilaterally invade our pants in a search for Weapons of Mass Eruption, I can promise you that you will be welcomed as a liberator.
Self-esteem is important, but not at the cost of self-deception: an inbox full of e-mail invitations to enlarge your penis is not the same as even a single greeting card from an actual girl. Keep it real, man.
While you may get a few more page views, liveblogging your Valentine's Day intimacy will not strengthen your relationship.
Please do not be fooled by the movie trailer. In real life, there are no black guys that can help white guys who look like Kevin James score hot chicks. Leave the brothers alone.
Men have great difficulty with gifts. Here is a simple tip that will prevent a major tragedy: if your gift has Atkins-Friendly stamped all over it, you have just clicked on www.doghouse.com.
If your Valentine's Day involves a combination of: solitude, beer, Pringles, and VH1's I Love The 90's -- now may be a good time to take a long, hard look at your life.
It's a fact that between sundown and sunrise on Valentine's Day evening it is not possible to get pregnant. Men, let your lady feel you inside of her.
Men, there is a foolproof way to check if your lady really loves you. On Valentine's Day, she will reveal to you one Divine Secret of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. If she doesn't, you are history.
Nothing says I love you, Valentine! like Mickey D's gift certificates -- the perfect anytime, anywhere gift! Okay, that was a test. If you were nodding your head, I'm afraid you are hopeless.
And to those of you who fall under this category, you have my sincere condolences...