....there's just something very special about Saturdays....
As I sit here at my dinning room table...I think about all those moments that brought me to where I am today. I am not going all the way down into my history (I could because the story is so intense) but I do reflect on all the times where I have seen the hand of God leading. It's been a stretch of gradual growth, a process of refinement, a story about two people--one mortal and one immortal. Still, this walk, this journey has taken its time, but with each day, with each step, it grows in beauty and grace. None of which is mine.
How do I explain myself?
When I was young I always believed in God. I grew up in a Seventh Day Adventist home (one which I embrace and love dearly) and have been learning about my faith since September 29, 1985. As I grew up I never really cared to know about other religions or what others believed in. I began to establish a relationship of raw faith with God that only children seem to fully understand. God was everything to me and for my simple naive mind, I was in the right. It wasn't until I matured in years and intellect too, that I began to question. Not on God's existance, but in a way I targeted that too. I began to doubt that my religion was the right one for me. I began to doubt that God really had a purpose for my life. I had seen the awesome things He had done for me earlier, but this demonic fear entered me and I was filled with doubt. By all means I didn't doubt God's existance. I couldn't, after all He's done, there's no way.
Well it wasn't until my senior year in high school that all doubt ceased in me. I was put to the test and could I handle it? WOW. I remember the night as if it were yesterday and I will never forget what my parents had to say. They spilled out every piece of my life into a puzzle on the coffee table top. I could see all the pieces falling into place before my eyes. One right after the other formed a picture, by all means not perfect, but one that paralleled me so perfectly. And then there were a few missing to complete the picture...and I was looking everywhere for them. Suddenly it dawned on me...God was holding onto those pieces, just like all the others that were spilled onto the coffee table.
I couldn't believe what I had heard that night. I cried. But now I understood why it was that I couldn't take every opportunity offered to me, why they could and I couldn't, why I was at the red light, while everybody else seemed to be getting green. I wasn't mad a God, my tears were not an expression of anger. Instead, they were act of gratitude to God, to my parents, and to all the people who made my future possible.
Today I find myself at one of the greatest universities of all times. A place for me to learn and spread my wings. There are no limits, only the ones that we set for ourselves. And it's true, the life of a college student is not easy. There are a number of choices to make on a daily basis that no matter how insignificant they may seem, could impact you for an enternity. It's no accident that I am here at UofM. It wasn't my choice. While I was dreaming my own dreams, God was acting on His. (We can talk about this story some other time.) So while my time is here and now I have decided to make a few promises to my God and myself. I want to keep myself pure and wholly devoted. Many people don't and will never understand why I do or don't do somethings round here, but that doesn't matter to me, because in the end it's between me and God, it was never between me and them anyway.
I guess my point for writing about all this is that God DOES have a plan. He always did. And you may be struggling through something right now or you may not understand why you are in a certain situation, and that's okay. I may not know who you are, or what you are going through, but God knows. He's up there watching, and He'll move all of Heaven to meet your cry for help. Hang in there my friend, you are not alone.
I don't know what the rest of my future will reveal to me. I don't know what experiences will change who I am to better my character. All I know is that when potential difficulties begin to fill my heart with doubt and fear I can look to my past and reach out for the only consistency in this inconsistent world. I have faith, greater now then ever, that my God is true and has a great plan for me.
Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
How do I explain myself?
When I was young I always believed in God. I grew up in a Seventh Day Adventist home (one which I embrace and love dearly) and have been learning about my faith since September 29, 1985. As I grew up I never really cared to know about other religions or what others believed in. I began to establish a relationship of raw faith with God that only children seem to fully understand. God was everything to me and for my simple naive mind, I was in the right. It wasn't until I matured in years and intellect too, that I began to question. Not on God's existance, but in a way I targeted that too. I began to doubt that my religion was the right one for me. I began to doubt that God really had a purpose for my life. I had seen the awesome things He had done for me earlier, but this demonic fear entered me and I was filled with doubt. By all means I didn't doubt God's existance. I couldn't, after all He's done, there's no way.
Well it wasn't until my senior year in high school that all doubt ceased in me. I was put to the test and could I handle it? WOW. I remember the night as if it were yesterday and I will never forget what my parents had to say. They spilled out every piece of my life into a puzzle on the coffee table top. I could see all the pieces falling into place before my eyes. One right after the other formed a picture, by all means not perfect, but one that paralleled me so perfectly. And then there were a few missing to complete the picture...and I was looking everywhere for them. Suddenly it dawned on me...God was holding onto those pieces, just like all the others that were spilled onto the coffee table.
I couldn't believe what I had heard that night. I cried. But now I understood why it was that I couldn't take every opportunity offered to me, why they could and I couldn't, why I was at the red light, while everybody else seemed to be getting green. I wasn't mad a God, my tears were not an expression of anger. Instead, they were act of gratitude to God, to my parents, and to all the people who made my future possible.
Today I find myself at one of the greatest universities of all times. A place for me to learn and spread my wings. There are no limits, only the ones that we set for ourselves. And it's true, the life of a college student is not easy. There are a number of choices to make on a daily basis that no matter how insignificant they may seem, could impact you for an enternity. It's no accident that I am here at UofM. It wasn't my choice. While I was dreaming my own dreams, God was acting on His. (We can talk about this story some other time.) So while my time is here and now I have decided to make a few promises to my God and myself. I want to keep myself pure and wholly devoted. Many people don't and will never understand why I do or don't do somethings round here, but that doesn't matter to me, because in the end it's between me and God, it was never between me and them anyway.
I guess my point for writing about all this is that God DOES have a plan. He always did. And you may be struggling through something right now or you may not understand why you are in a certain situation, and that's okay. I may not know who you are, or what you are going through, but God knows. He's up there watching, and He'll move all of Heaven to meet your cry for help. Hang in there my friend, you are not alone.
I don't know what the rest of my future will reveal to me. I don't know what experiences will change who I am to better my character. All I know is that when potential difficulties begin to fill my heart with doubt and fear I can look to my past and reach out for the only consistency in this inconsistent world. I have faith, greater now then ever, that my God is true and has a great plan for me.
Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."