He died a happy man; and I've got tupperware....

[elibad]

Why the fuck do people do a cut to a fucking cut? I mean seriously just make the freaking thing go where it's supposed to and stop making me click through three cuts to get to your stupid fucking story or art or whatthefuckever!

Er, yeah. So...

My name is elibad and I enjoyed 'Children of Earth'.



Once again I am far outside the apparent majority of fandom's reaction to canon. Seriously, it's going to start giving me a complex soon. And it is also pissing me off that I feel vaguely guilty for liking it. I have wondered though, if my response isn't some sort of freakish denial over the tragic and unnecessary death of one of my favorite characters ever, kind of a wank over weeping thing.

I actually understand a lot of the issues that everybody has with it. If RTD wanted to cause controversy and get people talking, he's definitely accomplished that.

I'm of two minds over the some of this stuff though. I do think that RTD and his team could have handled the whole thing better. Lots of fans feel betrayed by everyone telling them that they would love the J/I and where the relationship goes in CoE (even if I'm one of the six fans who did like/love what we got), and the idea that these people weren't expecting any fallout when they killed off half of the pair, and basically the relationship, is completely inconceivable to me. It does make it feel manipulative and potentially mean spirited. Also what comes across as the complete lack of understanding from this group is also kind of troubling, less arrogance, and actually acknowledging Ianto as a character rather than a prop to make Jack suffer, would likely go a long way to soothing feathers, or at least not re-ruffling them.

The accusations of homophobia and self-hatred levelled at RTD do bother me a lot. I get that people are pissed and I do think that 'fans' occasionally (maybe always) drive RTD nuts. That maybe he likes to mess with them and get in their heads. But, as a woman, it pisses me off when someone hints, suggests or flat out states that I'm a misogynist because I have views they don't agree with or like. Or that I need to act, think or live a certain way to be considered a good feminist or a strong woman or some other fucking nonsense. So it really chaps my ass that people are suggesting that Rusty isn't a good enough gay or that he secretly hates 'fags' or has internalized self-loathing or what the fuck ever. It's ignorant, arrogant and probably the reason he likes to fuck with fans.

And along those lines I don't think that he owes us as fans, or anyone else for that matter, to always write about gay characters or make sure he creates gay role-models or shows the perfect gay relationships or whatever, any more than I feel females are required to only write about females or create female role-models/feminist icons or only from the female perspective or whatever nonsense most of us have heard before. And accusations of ignoring his gay characters for his 'Sue' Gwen; so what, she's not my favourite but as a female who character preferences run to male (and often gay), I can't really fault a man (gay or not) whose all about the girls.

Now, while story wise I don't necessarily have an issue with killing Ianto, I've been expecting it for a while and honestly felt it had to happen at sometime. But I also want him back, now. (I think there are several interesting ways of bringing him back without 'bringing him back'.) I understand RTD's assertions that it would cheapen it to bring him back, but I also feel he (or who ever) has to be careful going forward not to cheapen it by not bringing him back. If Jack shows up on 'Doctor Who' or the now confirmed series 4 of 'Torchwood' completely over the losses and heartbreaks of CoE, then why did it have to happen? Handled well it could be very good, a continuation of the relationship, and Ianto, even though he is is gone, and relationship 'technically' over. Done poorly, it pisses off more fans. It has to mean something, otherwise it's just cheap theatrics.

Some other random thoughts;

1. Why must my favourites always be destroyed. Oh Ianto
2. GDL is the most awkward runner ever. Part of me thinks its the suits or the dress shoes, part of me thinks he's just a goofy looking runner (I may have to go back and re-watch 'Countrycide' to test my theory, oh woe, GDL at his long, lanky, that-is-the-worst-place-to-carry-a-gun-ever-your-gonna-blow-that-thing-off best, how will I endure)
3. I kind of love Ianto's family. I mean I love the kids for their 'yay! Uncle Ianto's wallet is here' and David's matter-of-factness when Ianto's note arrives, Rhiannon's confusion about her brother combined with her very apparently love and affection and Johnny's giant hug (did he call him Yan there? Awesome), his 'we're the only family he's got', his ability to muster a mob at a moments notice and his continued fretting over his car. Yeah, just generally awesome
4. Ianto breaks my heart, he always has. Since the beginning I have believed that he would never get what he deserves, not as a character, or a person, or Jack's lover, or a employee/member or Torchwood, or anything. He is quite tragic.
5. The kids all stopping was creepy as hell, and just gets more so the more I see it
6. Clem and his wonder nose was also creepy, and maybe a bit irritating (okay a lot). Ianto was so not impressed by him
7. Jack's family was not so awesome. I felt like crazy for Alice at the end, but she left me cold the rest of the time
8. Worst. Sniper. Ever.
9. I hate that they killed off Ianto, really, really hate it
10. I want a story about Ianto getting Jack's shackles off in the back seat of Johnny's car on the way to London, like random porn or some sort of explanation for why Jack and Ianto are 'fighting', or more truthfully, why Jack is having his little tantrum (I know what my theory is...), early in Day 3 when they first arrive at 'Hub2'
11. The London Eye! All of the awesome cinematography makes me excited for October \o/
12. I love, love, love the music in this show, always have
13. Did I mention I hate the Ianto killing? Yeah? Okay then
14. I love the J/I relationship and wish they could have grown old together, sniping and bantering in the Hub, having sex in the greenhouse or the archives or the holding cells in front of the weevils, where ever. But there are a few aspects of their relationship that I have always found 'troubling'. The first one, and undeniably the biggest, the one that makes my wish moot and the entire thing tragic, is Jack's immortality. But the age/experience difference between them (Jack has what, 120 years on Ianto when they start, and potentially innumerable relationships) and the fact that Jack is Ianto's boss, also have the potential to create a situation between them that is unequal and troublesome.
    I have always seemed to have less issue than some over Jack's 'treatment' of Ianto in canon. But it may be because I think that Ianto is a big part of the reason for why Jack acts as he does. I’ve never believed that either Jack or Ianto was to ‘blame’ for their seeming dysfunctional relationship, but it being a result of both of them and their seemingly wildly disparate personalities. And I don’t believe for a minute that Ianto is some sort of wilting flower who sits about fretting whether or not Jack loves him. Which isn’t to say that Ianto isn’t a neurotic mess, he totally is, but I suspect that his issues are more about him trying to figure out what he wants and what potentially it all means, and if it can even possibly work rather that how Jack feels about him, I think he knows that.
    And that is why what we got in CoE worked for me. It shows them struggling with their relationship, trying to find their footing, they seem out of synch, but then it turns around and shows how much they love each other.
    Ianto is tragically, and frustratingly, not much more than a love interest. And while I am convinced he could have been more, I think it would have been difficult as Jack's lover. For me that has always given the relationship a bit of a fan service vibe. If not for his popularity as Jack's lover, he likely would have been offed significantly sooner (like one of the two or three prior plans to do so) in a potentially worse manner and Jack would have moved on to Gwen
15. I once had a very good friend who was suffering from pretty serious PTSD, he was incredibly messed up and hated that I did not hate him as much as he hated himself. Jack reminds me of him, it might make me cry a little
16. I will say that I think 'Torchwood's' past, and potential future, struggles with what to do with their characters is strongly rooted into the actual dynamic of the show and organization they are trying to portray. It is one of the reason's they have continually shoved Gwen down our throats. She has a life, while all the the rest, are the job. She is the balance between Torchwood and the outside world. It made it difficult to 'do' much with Tosh or Owen (both of Owen's arcs in S1 and 2 where about how much it was costing him to 'be' Torchwood) and Ianto was made the "love interest". I even find that they seem to have trouble with what to do with Jack.
    And while I'm sure others would argue that Ianto or Jack's families could be used the same way, I might suggest that it wouldn't quite work. I suspect part of the reason Ianto stayed away from his family was to protect them (I just cannot see him dragging them in then screaming at them about it being real and dangerous and whatever) and Alice is aware of the dangers and keeps her own distance. Only someone with Gwen's experience and personality would be believable as trying to have it all. I would also put this out as the reason that Torchwood takes so very little, comparatively, from Gwen, it would not do for her to lose that perspective
17. I actually liked Gwen through most of this, which I wasn't sure would ever be possible. Don't get me wrong, she is still mainly the same enormously selfish, self-involved twat that she has always been, but apparently I can live with that as long as she isn't make goggie eyes at Ianto's man. Hopefully I'm not actually that shallow (I did cry like a kid who's giant scoop of ice cream fell off of their cone when she told Rhys about Ianto)
    I think that it feels like Gwen is growing up. One of my issues with Gwen is how she has treated Rhys, and I don't mean fucking Owen and retconning him, although it is part of it. But her treatment of him as a safety net, good ol' Rhys good enough, for now. In Series 1 and 2 it seems like she only keeps him around because Jack won't pony up and tell her that he loves her, she pratically admits it in 'Something Borrowed'. But in CoE, it feels like she actually has learnt what she has and appreciates it
18. It has to be said, I love Rhys Williams
19. There wasn’t enough Torchwood in this for me, and apparently Rusty thinks this is the future of ‘Torchwood’ which if we get more might actually make it easier to swallow
20. In HD the whole right side of Ianto’s face is a giant mottled, bruised mess, in certain lights it almost seems like it’s more than half of his face. It must have hurt like motherfucker, and it ties into my theories on Diva!Jack and the epic Day Three sulking
21. I'm not sure how I feel about the bender/gayboy/queer thing. It does seem weird that all of a sudden it was such a big issue. But like I mentioned above I'm not comfortable with the 'RTD is a homophobe' talk, I'm more inclined to believe that he was exploiting Ianto's popularity to get some other point across.
    Of each of the incidents the most offensive to me was Clem and his queer sniffing, it was just so dismissive and disdainful. I really don't care when that fucker was born, I know plenty of people that age that wouldn't treat anyone like that. The fact that I keep hearing people make excuses for him based on that, pisses me off. On the flipside, Ianto went all 'Oi' on his ass, and handled himself with restraint and class, although he was clearly embarrassed for initially losing control and letting loose with the 'Oi' in the manner he did, even though he was completely entitled to the force of this reaction (and more, as far as I'm concerned).
    I did wonder if this was somehow done to contrast Ianto's family's reaction. Because while, yes, they are pretty insulting and derogatory to him about it, it is ultimately accepting and loving. Rhiannon just wants to know what's going on with her brother and while her reaction seems slightly extreme, with all the 'reallys' and flailing, it is clear from her prior comment about Mica's friend's family that it doesn't bother her, so I thought it potentially had more to do with her relationship (or lack there of), and it's inherent issues, with Ianto. Or the fact that he landed a major hotty (which is potentially just more sib weirdness).
    Johnny and his gay boy comment would have been so much more insulting if; a) he hadn't given Ianto a giant squishy bear hug, that came across with real affection for a man he presumably doesn't know that well, right after; b) he hadn't made the comment during the raid about whether or not they would find Ianto in his bed, not because he wasn't 'queer' or 'bender' or a 'gay boy', but because he was a married man (I have so much love for this moment I am possibly unable to textually render it, but I will try, with the help of HTML; ♥ \o/) and; c) his unwavering support of Ianto, and whatever he'd gotten himself into, even when, or perhaps because, Rhiannon seemed ready to toss him. (I wish we'd gotten more of Rhiannon and Ianto, their relationship was just so fab and fraught with sibling-ly history and angst. It feels like we learned so much about Ianto just from their interactions).
    Two more things on the Big!Gay!Ianto homecoming, I kind of thought that Ianto's 'Mica can hear this' was more about the name-calling than subject matter. It may just be me projecting, but I just can't see Ianto having an issue with the Gay, but I can see having his niece hearing derogatory statements so casually made, that may affect her perception of him negatively, getting his back up (as much as he allows that to show). I also kind of hated the 'it's just Jack' crap, pretty much because it is so cliche. I mean it does actually suit Ianto's personality, he comes across as being very focused on his significant others, to the exclusion of all else, even his own bisexuality. But the whole thing is just over done.
    I think what bothered me the most in the scene with Andy was Gwen's dismissal of his questions. They didn't strike me as comic relief, but driven by Andy's desire to do his job right and not put his foot in it. But then this, for me anyways, goes along with the Debenham's thing later (where Gwen does put her foot in it quite spectacularly). Wouldn't you expect that someone who worked with Ianto for 'years' and knew him 'proper' would have known a little more about him? Like whether or not he's told his family about Jack? It just bothers me, Gwen often comes across as dismissive Jack's relationship with Ianto.
22. Jack and Ianto going to Thames House is, well, kind of stupid, as unprepared as they were anyway. I do get why Ianto is there. The Gov't committee and their heart warming little social-cleansing plan most directly affects him and his family, and he is not the type to sit back and be 'safe'. Also he was the one who challenged Jack to stand up to them, there is a certain irony that while the government body was working to protect thier own and save themselves, someone who would have been given up twenty years earlier in their lovely plan makes a stand none of them are brave enough to make
23. Damn you for killing Ianto *sobs*
24. I have no idea what Debenham's is and it make is difficult for me to completely understand this moment, and conversely, some of the freaking out about it. All my google-fu tells me is that it is a mid to high-end department store that focuses on fashion. Where I'm from, stores like that often employ 'tailors', which means, to me, it was more of an exaggeration than an actual lie (not being an Master Tailor or even an official one does not mean that someone isn't capable of estimating a man's inseam by their stride across the shop floor).
    For me, that entire thing was all about Gwen focusing, as she always does, on 'me, me, me'. Instead of trying to make Rhiannon believe that Ianto was 'important' to her, her mission would have been expedited by making it about Ianto wanting to protect his family, or even Jack wishing to protect his lover's family. But no, it had to be about her and how she knew Ianto proper, and it was pretty much all lies (fandom losing their shit over Ianto the big fat liar when it was Gwen who is the lying liar who lies makes me o.O). Show does occasionally throw out bits and bobs that allows the audience in on the fact that they are aware that Gwen can occasionally be a blind egomaniac plowing through those around her like a self-righteous wrecking ball.
25. I kind of love Ianto yanking Jack's 'corpse' up by his lapels. If looks could kill Clem would have been dead long before the 456 could finish him off
26. Does it make me a terrible person that I am glad that in the end Gwen alone was not enough to keep Jack on earth/with Torchwood?
27. Does it make me a terrible person that even though Jack is destroyed and Ianto completely cheated, I kind of like the fact that all of this probably did serve to make Ianto more than just a blip in Jack's very, very, very long life?
28. They Killed Ianto! ...Those Bastards!

So apparently, I had a lot to say. I am buying my CoE DVD when available (hopefully they will have 'Leverage' as well), and I will be donating similar dollars to the Children in Need thing over at saveiantojones.com and kick in to get my favourite welsh boy a lovely welsh, ninja-trained, pony. I'm going to wait to see how everything plays out from here on in, and continue hoping that they find some way to bring him back

Teh Barrowman is performing in La Cage Aux Folles in the West End when I am due to be in London. Imaybewantotgolikeburning. GDL has drunken Welsh womanizing quotes from Dylan Thomas on his website. He's fun.

ETA - This has been eyes only for about a week. I have added to it, taken from it and edited it (which likely didn’t help in the least, my writing, especially my grammar, sucks much, my only excuse is that dammit, I’m an accountant) to within an inch of it’s, and my, life. It also took, what three weeks, to get it all put together, and it feels like it is only scratching the surface. But I keep reading everyone elses reactions everywhere else. My thoughts and opinions are not necessarily in the norm or mainstream, but they are mine none the less, and while I won’t be posting my them to communities, I figured I should toss them out here, if for no other reason that I will stop messing with this and just let it be...