It's Funnier With Puppets
(Superstition by Stevie Wonder begins)
Narrator- Hello. What are you doing in my living room? I was about to watch Charmed. I have the DVD set. Well, what do you want? I KNOW what you want. You want me to tell you about the birth of the world... or my stereo. Well, since the birth of the world is shorter than the birth of my stereo, I’ll tell you about it. is that what you want? I SAAAAID, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? Too bad, why don't you go fuck yourselves?
(Narrator leaves. Superstition stops. Ten seconds later, he returns and the song begins again)
Sorry. I was on Shuffle. Sooo, the birth of the world, huh? Ok. 16 years ago the earth was formed. There was an earth goddess named Papa, she contained the plants and the flowers and the soil. She was sent back in time to kill John Connor. John was to become the leader of the resistance against the robots. Oh wait... No, I’m right. He needed to stop the... wait. Yeah, he needed to stop the robots before Judgement day. Whoa. I’m getting ahead of myself. The time? 1995. The Place? Nothingness. Before the land, before the sky, before Tom Jones and WAY before penicillin, there was Papa, the goddess of the Earth, and Rangi, god of the sky, who loved each other deeply. On a date they go to see The Bridges of Madison County. Rangi thinks Meryl Streep is overrated. Papa disagrees, but that doesn't stop their love. They love each other so much, they know nothing will ever come between them.
Papa- I love that movie. And I love you Rangi, god of the sky. It’s 1995. Next, lets see Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls.
Rangi- I love you too. I love you so much, goddess of the Earth. Hey, guess what. I bought you something.
Papa- What is it?
Rangi- It’s a Tamagachi. Know why I got it?
Papa- Because you love me so much?
Rangi- Yes, because I love you so much.
Papa- Seriously, you rock. Hey, wanna hear a joke?
Rangi-Not really.
Papa- A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and proceeds to get the giraffe drunker than the giraffe has ever been before. The giraffe passes out on the bar floor and the guy gets up to leave. The bartender says “Hey you! You cant leave that lyin’ there!” And the man says “That’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
Rangi- Give me back the Tamagachi.
(Long pause)
Rangi- Know what?
Papa- What?
Rangi- We should come together into a hug and vow never to separate.
Papa- That’s a terrific idea. Plus, it will save money on movie tickets because we can sit in the same sear. For instance.... it will save us money when we go see Rob Roy.
Rangi- Lets do it.
Papa- Go see Rob Roy?
Rangi- No, lets come together in a hug and vow never to separate because we love each other so much.
Narrator- Hello. What are you doing in my living room? I was about to watch Charmed. I have the DVD set. Well, what do you want? I KNOW what you want. You want me to tell you about the birth of the world... or my stereo. Well, since the birth of the world is shorter than the birth of my stereo, I’ll tell you about it. is that what you want? I SAAAAID, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? Too bad, why don't you go fuck yourselves?
(Narrator leaves. Superstition stops. Ten seconds later, he returns and the song begins again)
Sorry. I was on Shuffle. Sooo, the birth of the world, huh? Ok. 16 years ago the earth was formed. There was an earth goddess named Papa, she contained the plants and the flowers and the soil. She was sent back in time to kill John Connor. John was to become the leader of the resistance against the robots. Oh wait... No, I’m right. He needed to stop the... wait. Yeah, he needed to stop the robots before Judgement day. Whoa. I’m getting ahead of myself. The time? 1995. The Place? Nothingness. Before the land, before the sky, before Tom Jones and WAY before penicillin, there was Papa, the goddess of the Earth, and Rangi, god of the sky, who loved each other deeply. On a date they go to see The Bridges of Madison County. Rangi thinks Meryl Streep is overrated. Papa disagrees, but that doesn't stop their love. They love each other so much, they know nothing will ever come between them.
Papa- I love that movie. And I love you Rangi, god of the sky. It’s 1995. Next, lets see Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls.
Rangi- I love you too. I love you so much, goddess of the Earth. Hey, guess what. I bought you something.
Papa- What is it?
Rangi- It’s a Tamagachi. Know why I got it?
Papa- Because you love me so much?
Rangi- Yes, because I love you so much.
Papa- Seriously, you rock. Hey, wanna hear a joke?
Rangi-Not really.
Papa- A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and proceeds to get the giraffe drunker than the giraffe has ever been before. The giraffe passes out on the bar floor and the guy gets up to leave. The bartender says “Hey you! You cant leave that lyin’ there!” And the man says “That’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
Rangi- Give me back the Tamagachi.
(Long pause)
Rangi- Know what?
Papa- What?
Rangi- We should come together into a hug and vow never to separate.
Papa- That’s a terrific idea. Plus, it will save money on movie tickets because we can sit in the same sear. For instance.... it will save us money when we go see Rob Roy.
Rangi- Lets do it.
Papa- Go see Rob Roy?
Rangi- No, lets come together in a hug and vow never to separate because we love each other so much.