Long Bushy Tailed Monkeys and Me
Lauren and I went to the zoo the other day. At one point we wandered to a caged area filled with some long bushy tailed monkeys (not the actual nomenclature, just my description of them... By the way, do you ever notice that? Animals are either called some obscure derivative of their latin name like “Zimbokawee”, or they are called by exactly what they look like or what they do, such as “Red Ass Howler Pig”). I watched one of these long bushy tailed monkeys for a while as he peeled away the leaves off a branch and chewed them casually, and I eventually was hit over the head by how enticing such a life would be. Now, I don’t pretend I’m the first guy to watch an animal at the zoo and make the distinction of how simple their life must be compared to ours. In fact, I’d wager about three people a day stop at that particular long bushy tailed monkey, make such a mental discovery, and then go home and blog about it, but the high volume of said encounters should only impress the point that such a thought has some truth to it.
Wouldn’t it be great if my defining hope was that none of my shit gets caught in my fur? Wouldn’t it be more fun to leap from tree to tree, fight off folks of similar size to myself for morsels of food, and simply enjoy the day as a simpler life form? This isn’t a slight to the wonderful things that I do get to enjoy as a human, but instead a critique on some of the more extraneous habits our civilization has adopted as a means of survival that are so far removed from the simplicity of the long bushy tailed monkey and his branch of leaves. I’m talking about stop lights, installment plan contracts, lines at the DMV, construction sites, cell phones, thirty types of shampoo to choose from, resumes... the things in life that drive me nuts.
I was championing the life of the long bushy tailed monkey to someone at work, and she mentioned that this was the life I chose... and I was taken aback. I had never really thought about how much of the blame I should get for CHOOSING to wrap myself in the hustle in bustle. What, so I don’t get to complain about asphalt if I’m not willing to toss it all off and be a child of wilderness? Do I have to move to a secluded wooded area and be known as “Dave the ape man, who will creep from the bushes right into your campsite if someone is cooking beefaronies”? Sure, I didn’t choose to be born me and not a long bushy tailed monkey, but I did get swept up by the demands of my species. But how much can I be blamed for that? When you are a child, you look to your parents for guidance and for emulation, and when you turn 18 the prospect of casual sex in college is too enticing, and then in your adulthood you realize you will spend the rest of your life paying off that education so you might as well use it somehow. There is no moment to stop and wonder if it’s the only way to go. Perhaps my qualm is with the fact there isn’t one day where they let us choose. They don’t take us all to the zoo one day and say “Ok guys, you can either get married and have a social security card, or you can be like the bushy long tailed monkey over here.” And I’m not saying I’d go with the monkey (maybe because that branch didn’t look like it had alot of flavor, and this is coming from a guy who eats beefaronies), but I think I’d be more comfortable in my adulthood with my lot in life that their was a moment in my past when I was given the definitive choice, and I chose this.
I’m happy, for the most part, with my life. I just think there are some days when the bushy long tailed monkey seems like a better bet.
Wouldn’t it be great if my defining hope was that none of my shit gets caught in my fur? Wouldn’t it be more fun to leap from tree to tree, fight off folks of similar size to myself for morsels of food, and simply enjoy the day as a simpler life form? This isn’t a slight to the wonderful things that I do get to enjoy as a human, but instead a critique on some of the more extraneous habits our civilization has adopted as a means of survival that are so far removed from the simplicity of the long bushy tailed monkey and his branch of leaves. I’m talking about stop lights, installment plan contracts, lines at the DMV, construction sites, cell phones, thirty types of shampoo to choose from, resumes... the things in life that drive me nuts.
I was championing the life of the long bushy tailed monkey to someone at work, and she mentioned that this was the life I chose... and I was taken aback. I had never really thought about how much of the blame I should get for CHOOSING to wrap myself in the hustle in bustle. What, so I don’t get to complain about asphalt if I’m not willing to toss it all off and be a child of wilderness? Do I have to move to a secluded wooded area and be known as “Dave the ape man, who will creep from the bushes right into your campsite if someone is cooking beefaronies”? Sure, I didn’t choose to be born me and not a long bushy tailed monkey, but I did get swept up by the demands of my species. But how much can I be blamed for that? When you are a child, you look to your parents for guidance and for emulation, and when you turn 18 the prospect of casual sex in college is too enticing, and then in your adulthood you realize you will spend the rest of your life paying off that education so you might as well use it somehow. There is no moment to stop and wonder if it’s the only way to go. Perhaps my qualm is with the fact there isn’t one day where they let us choose. They don’t take us all to the zoo one day and say “Ok guys, you can either get married and have a social security card, or you can be like the bushy long tailed monkey over here.” And I’m not saying I’d go with the monkey (maybe because that branch didn’t look like it had alot of flavor, and this is coming from a guy who eats beefaronies), but I think I’d be more comfortable in my adulthood with my lot in life that their was a moment in my past when I was given the definitive choice, and I chose this.
I’m happy, for the most part, with my life. I just think there are some days when the bushy long tailed monkey seems like a better bet.