Why Work Comedies Are So Easily Amusing: Especially Featuring Ye Snarky People.
So, it just occured to me all the stupid stories about work ya'll are missing out on. I know, work stories, boring right? Except, I work with a pretty large group of snarky people. And oh the stereotypes. Now Featuring!!!
Brian- the black gay man
Gus- the lebanese franchisee
Crystal- the pregnant bitchy manager\
Theresa- the moocher
Mahmoud- the wannabes
Susu(?)- SCARY ASS BAKER WOMAN!
Ok! So Crystal had the day off today, so Mahmoud decided to stay an extra two hours and try to run the store. Which wasn't cool, because he's an asshole sometimes. Poor Jamie was ringing drivethru and she didnt have a headset on, so he went and shoved one on her head... except... the headset had been dropped in the toilet (or so i heard) which is why no one wanted to wear it. So Jamie now has toilet head (ewww) and Brian and I are cracking the hell up. Theresa: absconds with my phone. Me: uh... i need that back... eventually?
So Susu goes around asking people for Tylenol cause apparently her teeth hurt, but none of us speak broken english very well so we had no idea what the hell she was talking about till eventually she started pointing to her mouth and saying tablets. >>
Everyone started teasing Brian about how his shirt makes him look chubbity, I am now under orders to smack him if he goes to eat anymore donut holes. I'm in the back putting stuff into trays and I take the chocolate glazed ones out and hand the entire tray to Brian, "I brought your lunch, look it matches you even! Aren't I talented?" Everyone cracked the fuck up. Brian said the fact that we have white hot chocolate now is making me racist. I asked how, because damn that white hot chocolate is NASTY. I prefer the regular thanks. So we're all cracking up and Gus calls me over. I'm just thinking well shit. Except.. he lets me get off an hour early because we had way too many people working. Yaaay! Theresa gets to go too, so of course she asks me for a ride. I say yeah sure.
Well apparently she needed to go to the bank cause she owed Brian money. So she doesnt get out for another half hour at which point I'm reading a book in the car. Then she says take me to the BK on green. "uh ok." yeah well apparently her friend was there waiting for her and i drove them BOTH somewhere else. That pissed me off just a touch. I didn't get home till 12 anyway. I unno when I turned into her personal service. Jeez.
So, Susu totally is a scary baker woman. I really don't do broken English very well so I can't understand half of what she says and I kinda just smile and nod. Well apparently one time Brian did that and Susu BIT him. HARD. He had teeth marks on his arm. None of us know what the hell was going on. I told him to go get a rabies shot. Her teeth are really scary. Lets put it this way... it's obvious she works in a donut shop... less obvious is how she's frigging married.
wtf yo.
Brian- the black gay man
Gus- the lebanese franchisee
Crystal- the pregnant bitchy manager\
Theresa- the moocher
Mahmoud- the wannabes
Susu(?)- SCARY ASS BAKER WOMAN!
Ok! So Crystal had the day off today, so Mahmoud decided to stay an extra two hours and try to run the store. Which wasn't cool, because he's an asshole sometimes. Poor Jamie was ringing drivethru and she didnt have a headset on, so he went and shoved one on her head... except... the headset had been dropped in the toilet (or so i heard) which is why no one wanted to wear it. So Jamie now has toilet head (ewww) and Brian and I are cracking the hell up. Theresa: absconds with my phone. Me: uh... i need that back... eventually?
So Susu goes around asking people for Tylenol cause apparently her teeth hurt, but none of us speak broken english very well so we had no idea what the hell she was talking about till eventually she started pointing to her mouth and saying tablets. >>
Everyone started teasing Brian about how his shirt makes him look chubbity, I am now under orders to smack him if he goes to eat anymore donut holes. I'm in the back putting stuff into trays and I take the chocolate glazed ones out and hand the entire tray to Brian, "I brought your lunch, look it matches you even! Aren't I talented?" Everyone cracked the fuck up. Brian said the fact that we have white hot chocolate now is making me racist. I asked how, because damn that white hot chocolate is NASTY. I prefer the regular thanks. So we're all cracking up and Gus calls me over. I'm just thinking well shit. Except.. he lets me get off an hour early because we had way too many people working. Yaaay! Theresa gets to go too, so of course she asks me for a ride. I say yeah sure.
Well apparently she needed to go to the bank cause she owed Brian money. So she doesnt get out for another half hour at which point I'm reading a book in the car. Then she says take me to the BK on green. "uh ok." yeah well apparently her friend was there waiting for her and i drove them BOTH somewhere else. That pissed me off just a touch. I didn't get home till 12 anyway. I unno when I turned into her personal service. Jeez.
So, Susu totally is a scary baker woman. I really don't do broken English very well so I can't understand half of what she says and I kinda just smile and nod. Well apparently one time Brian did that and Susu BIT him. HARD. He had teeth marks on his arm. None of us know what the hell was going on. I told him to go get a rabies shot. Her teeth are really scary. Lets put it this way... it's obvious she works in a donut shop... less obvious is how she's frigging married.
wtf yo.