Not feelin' it

[elh1015]

I haven't decorated for Christmas. I did create a photo card, purchased envelopes that will fit 4 x 6 photos, but have not uploaded the photo to have printed. Our card list has 75 people on it and then usually Efa hands out around 10-12 to co-workers. Buying stamps to send them out is something I honestly don't want to do. Which is odd because

Comments

[elh1015]

What you have said has really resonated with me, thank you. I had been having these same thoughts and also recently had a conversation with Jamie about it too. I think so much about how even if I did obtain more clients, it still wouldn't grow to be the kind of money I made back when I worked in my previous career. And it sort of crystallized with me today that what I want for our family is to earn more money. If we want to continue sending our children to Catholic school and participate in sports and activities, I must work full time. It's like all this potential I have to earn money has just been sitting untapped. Like a whole bunch of time and heartache has been a waste when I could have been working all this time. I know it won't be easy to enter the workforce again, so much in the world has changed, especially if I were to try the field of web content management like I used to do. But I feel some clarity in making this decision. And if I can work my business as a side business, I will and put some time in on my blog because it's fun for me, I will. I think my state of mind about this makes a big difference in how I feel emotionally about all of it.

[iamkas]

Hey, hon....don't spend your energy thinking about 'what could have been' if you'd been working all this time. You never know what other kinds of headaches would have popped up (especially with a pregnancy & new baby), so don't beat yourself up here. You've made the best decisions you could with the information you had at each point in time.

[elh1015]

I had a friend today express her concern for how I would manage it all working full time outside the house. With Efa away several nights a week and Annalise's commute to school and getting everyone everywhere they need to be. She doesn't have young kids anymore and works full time from home. She said her life was never as stressful as when she worked outside the home back when her kids were younger. I know she was coming from a place of concern, but it struck me odd to have that opinion when she said it. But having thought more, she may very well be right, but I know that this is what I have to do. We can't live on one salary and me making a few hundred a month. It's not working. And I worked outside the home for many years some of it as a single mom. I think that I may operate better with a structure of a finite amount of time at home. Although there are many days that I spent just home with carter, doing nothing but being with him and many years from now I will be glad I did that, I have sucked at being a household manager. I haven't always made good use of the time I had when all the kids are at school/daycare. But my primary point to her was that I was tired of always making decisions based on if we have the money to do it. Wanting to go/do/get can barely even be considered. Like if Annalise wants to attend a concert that is coming to town, even something like the radio station jingle ball that is like $35. Whether or not she has earned the privilege doesn't even play a role in our decision, it's only about if we can afford it. But I honestly don't know how I will manage it all, I just have faith that it will work out.