(no subject)
Rent popped up on my computer for the first time in ages this evening/morning.
Or maybe I found it for the first time in ages. Whatever.
For some reason, I can barely listen to it right now. It's almost overwhelming. I was about to say "I don't know why," but I do- it makes me think of my sophomore year. I'd just officially ditched pre-med for theatre, made dozens of new friends, started having tons of fun, had one of the best years of my life, really. Life was in front of me, and I was going to get the jump on it. Hell yeah, acting's nearly impossible as a living, but the dream's damn romantic, right?
Okay, well, this "life" guy I was about to jump... as I get closer, perspective gets better, and he's starting to look like an NFL linebacker. Or a 500lb bouncer. Either way, there's this impending feeling of "I'm about to get thumped."
And we get to Kevin's nearly-3am confession of this morning/evening- Shit's starting to get scary.
I'm getting worried about the URTAs, can't tell how much is the jitters, how much is actually unpreparedness. I took one of my new pieces to the grad student one-act auditions this weekend, did kinda so/so, which my new director pretty much confirmed. "Got cast on faith," something like that. Fine, swell, in that instance, we both knew it was a new piece, but that's still not a good long-run sign. I still need to get it coached and blah blah blahhhhh blah blah blllaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh......
My god, I'm even boring myself.
.......
And suddenly, a minor epiphany, and all the doubt sails away.
Yes, I'm totally serious.
Fuck it.
Day to day.
Chill a bit.
You're good at having fun. Don't worry.
Or maybe I found it for the first time in ages. Whatever.
For some reason, I can barely listen to it right now. It's almost overwhelming. I was about to say "I don't know why," but I do- it makes me think of my sophomore year. I'd just officially ditched pre-med for theatre, made dozens of new friends, started having tons of fun, had one of the best years of my life, really. Life was in front of me, and I was going to get the jump on it. Hell yeah, acting's nearly impossible as a living, but the dream's damn romantic, right?
Okay, well, this "life" guy I was about to jump... as I get closer, perspective gets better, and he's starting to look like an NFL linebacker. Or a 500lb bouncer. Either way, there's this impending feeling of "I'm about to get thumped."
And we get to Kevin's nearly-3am confession of this morning/evening- Shit's starting to get scary.
I'm getting worried about the URTAs, can't tell how much is the jitters, how much is actually unpreparedness. I took one of my new pieces to the grad student one-act auditions this weekend, did kinda so/so, which my new director pretty much confirmed. "Got cast on faith," something like that. Fine, swell, in that instance, we both knew it was a new piece, but that's still not a good long-run sign. I still need to get it coached and blah blah blahhhhh blah blah blllaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh......
My god, I'm even boring myself.
.......
And suddenly, a minor epiphany, and all the doubt sails away.
Yes, I'm totally serious.
Fuck it.
Day to day.
Chill a bit.
You're good at having fun. Don't worry.