Security Mini-Rant
I grew up in the shadow of the mushroom cloud. We were all so sure that, any day, any minute, talks could break down and "the commies" would start the War To End All Wars.
The more sensible among us believed that no leaders, ours or theirs, would be stupid enough to believe a nuclear war is winnable… we mostly worried about accidents. The government tried to assure us that accidents were impossible-after all, we know how secure government facilities are, how carefully the staff tends their responsibilities, how rational all their employees are, how well-maintained all the equipment is…
You can stop shaking now, Really. That part is over.
In the late 80's the USSR crumbled and East Germany caved into pressure to be "good little neighbors," the Wall came down, and the Cold War was over. America was victorious-we were top of the world. We emerged as true global leaders-the defenders of democracy and liberty and everyone's right to eat Big Macs, use Windows 3.1, and shop at WalMart.
So what happened?
Well, it appears that a whole lot of people don't like Big Macs, and without the Evil Godless Communist Russians and the Evil Godless Psychopath Germans breathing down their necks, they looked for the cause of all their strife and found… the Evil Godless Corporate Americans. You know, those capitalistic, immoral, self-righteous, loud-mouthed jerks who think that owning bombs and money makes them better than the rest of the world. The ones who think that having a big army obligates us to use it on other nations, whether they want it or not.
So they looked at us, and they were annoyed. And then they were angry. And then they lashed out-bombs in New York, and when that didn't work, they tried jets.
Well, *that* got our attention. Wow. For about two weeks, we had the sympathy of every civilized nation on the planet. (Let's not think too hard about what it took to lose that, okay? It's just too depressing.)
We got a slap in the face: Wake Up, America! The conflicts that Israel and Ireland have taken for granted for decades can be your conflicts too! Not everyone loves you, and some of the people who hate you are poor enough or desperate enough or crazy enough to attack civilians!
We must, of course, protect our civilians. That means security. Lots of security. Homeland Security.
We no longer fear the mushroom cloud, the loose ICBM, the mad dictator who decides to throw a hidden arsenal at the American oppressors. We no longer fear the rise of communism, spreading like mildew, destroying the fabric of all decent societies on earth. What do we fear now?
Shoe bombs.
This is *pathetic*, folks.
We are strip-searching white-haired grandmothers because their underwire bras set off the metal detectors. We are confiscating teenagers' model airplanes because they contain radio gear. We are destroying businessmen's laptops, slowing commerce and communications, because it's just barely possible that someone has re-wired a cellphone to set off a bomb created from laptop battery packs cleverly disguised as, well, a cellphone and laptop.
Do you feel safer?
The more sensible among us believed that no leaders, ours or theirs, would be stupid enough to believe a nuclear war is winnable… we mostly worried about accidents. The government tried to assure us that accidents were impossible-after all, we know how secure government facilities are, how carefully the staff tends their responsibilities, how rational all their employees are, how well-maintained all the equipment is…
You can stop shaking now, Really. That part is over.
In the late 80's the USSR crumbled and East Germany caved into pressure to be "good little neighbors," the Wall came down, and the Cold War was over. America was victorious-we were top of the world. We emerged as true global leaders-the defenders of democracy and liberty and everyone's right to eat Big Macs, use Windows 3.1, and shop at WalMart.
So what happened?
Well, it appears that a whole lot of people don't like Big Macs, and without the Evil Godless Communist Russians and the Evil Godless Psychopath Germans breathing down their necks, they looked for the cause of all their strife and found… the Evil Godless Corporate Americans. You know, those capitalistic, immoral, self-righteous, loud-mouthed jerks who think that owning bombs and money makes them better than the rest of the world. The ones who think that having a big army obligates us to use it on other nations, whether they want it or not.
So they looked at us, and they were annoyed. And then they were angry. And then they lashed out-bombs in New York, and when that didn't work, they tried jets.
Well, *that* got our attention. Wow. For about two weeks, we had the sympathy of every civilized nation on the planet. (Let's not think too hard about what it took to lose that, okay? It's just too depressing.)
We got a slap in the face: Wake Up, America! The conflicts that Israel and Ireland have taken for granted for decades can be your conflicts too! Not everyone loves you, and some of the people who hate you are poor enough or desperate enough or crazy enough to attack civilians!
We must, of course, protect our civilians. That means security. Lots of security. Homeland Security.
We no longer fear the mushroom cloud, the loose ICBM, the mad dictator who decides to throw a hidden arsenal at the American oppressors. We no longer fear the rise of communism, spreading like mildew, destroying the fabric of all decent societies on earth. What do we fear now?
Shoe bombs.
This is *pathetic*, folks.
We are strip-searching white-haired grandmothers because their underwire bras set off the metal detectors. We are confiscating teenagers' model airplanes because they contain radio gear. We are destroying businessmen's laptops, slowing commerce and communications, because it's just barely possible that someone has re-wired a cellphone to set off a bomb created from laptop battery packs cleverly disguised as, well, a cellphone and laptop.
Do you feel safer?