Reply to a post at another community
Reply to http://community.livejournal.com/nopity/287890.html, because somehow I never directly joined the community. (I've submitted a request, but it'll probably take all day & I'll be at work and all that; don't want to lose this in the meantime.)
I came across a comment about rape in RPGs on a gaming forum, quite a while back--The Inevitably-Named "Rape in RPGs". It said, in part:"Role-playing is all about creating context and atmosphere; about opening our minds and our hearts to one degree or another, in order to experience emotionally that which is outside our grasp to experience phsyically. When we engage in role-play, we make ourselves vulnerable to the crime of imagined rape in a way we do not and cannot make ourselves vulnerable to the crime of imagined murder."
I don't think you were trying to hide your shame. I think you were trying to work through it--to find a way to face the discomfort and frightening emotions in a setting you knew was safe, with people you liked and trusted, and weren't happy when that wasn't enough. (Especially since it might've been enough if it were done a bit differently--if the game had left you empowered instead of feeling helpless against it.)
And you didn't want to tell them because you don't want to be The Rape Victim to them. You know that everyone has issues that they don't want to deal with in gaming, that everyone has games they don't like--but nobody reacts funny to someone who says "hey guys, could we stop slaughtering ten thousand orcs every session? It's, umm, boring."
I came across a comment about rape in RPGs on a gaming forum, quite a while back--The Inevitably-Named "Rape in RPGs". It said, in part:"Role-playing is all about creating context and atmosphere; about opening our minds and our hearts to one degree or another, in order to experience emotionally that which is outside our grasp to experience phsyically. When we engage in role-play, we make ourselves vulnerable to the crime of imagined rape in a way we do not and cannot make ourselves vulnerable to the crime of imagined murder."
I don't think you were trying to hide your shame. I think you were trying to work through it--to find a way to face the discomfort and frightening emotions in a setting you knew was safe, with people you liked and trusted, and weren't happy when that wasn't enough. (Especially since it might've been enough if it were done a bit differently--if the game had left you empowered instead of feeling helpless against it.)
And you didn't want to tell them because you don't want to be The Rape Victim to them. You know that everyone has issues that they don't want to deal with in gaming, that everyone has games they don't like--but nobody reacts funny to someone who says "hey guys, could we stop slaughtering ten thousand orcs every session? It's, umm, boring."