Missed Opportunities
Life is funny sometimes. And by funny I mean fucking frustrating, maddening, and heartbreaking. funny.
So much of life is about timing. The movie Sliding Doors has always been one of my favorites because of how well it illustrates this. Just a slight change in timing can change the rest of your life. Or, if you miss that opening, it doesn't change. Sometimes that's a good thing because the changes are undesirable. So much randomness, it's impossible to plan for or even know that an opportunity is missed. Even if you know that you missed the opportunity, you'll never know if overall your life will be better or worse for it.
It's pretty rare that you can see clearly that you missed an opportunity and you're sure that your life will be worse for it.
Tonight felt like one of those rare times for me. Felt like I finally met someone and had a real and strong connection with them. Stronger than anything I've felt since before I left Seattle in 2005. And it happened so fast it took me completely and utterly by surprise.
But life loves those curve balls. And just as suddenly as it started, we both realized...this won't work. And that was it.
I'm left feeling pensive, sad, and ... kind of empty. Knowing that my life will be worse for not having someone in it.
Emotions suck. I want to give mine back - they're defective.