(no subject)
this is just SO FUCKED UP. ryan, out of all people, even though NO ONE deserves it, he REALLY doesn't deserve this.
i wish i could just grab him and force into his head how wonderful he is and how much i wish i could take this pain away from him.
and i'm not saying that i have a crush on him, because its just not like that. i'd want to take it away from anyone. it would be so much easier for me to deal with it than for me to see someone i care about deal with it. but i can't act like we've been best friends for a million years, i mean i've hung out with him maybe twice. but this just REALLY isn't fair and it makes me doubt life and god and myself.
and i can't help thinking how SELFISH i am for pitying myself along with the rest of the human race while something ACTUALLY happened to him. look up in the last paragraph. see how i said it'd "easier for me"? shut UP sophie. it has nothing to do with you.
i didn't know what to say today. i wish he wanted to talk to me, but i just really hope that he talks to someone. it's going to painful. it's going to be hard. not like i would know.
i wish i could just grab him and force into his head how wonderful he is and how much i wish i could take this pain away from him.
and i'm not saying that i have a crush on him, because its just not like that. i'd want to take it away from anyone. it would be so much easier for me to deal with it than for me to see someone i care about deal with it. but i can't act like we've been best friends for a million years, i mean i've hung out with him maybe twice. but this just REALLY isn't fair and it makes me doubt life and god and myself.
and i can't help thinking how SELFISH i am for pitying myself along with the rest of the human race while something ACTUALLY happened to him. look up in the last paragraph. see how i said it'd "easier for me"? shut UP sophie. it has nothing to do with you.
i didn't know what to say today. i wish he wanted to talk to me, but i just really hope that he talks to someone. it's going to painful. it's going to be hard. not like i would know.