Mr. Smoketoomuch (Eric Idle): Good morning. Secretary (Carol Cleveland): Oh, good morning. Uhm, have you come to arrange a holiday or would you like a blow job? Mr. Smoketoomuch: I'm sorry? Secretary: Uh, oh, you've come to arrange a holiday? Mr. Smoketoomuch: Uuh...yes. Secretary: Oh, sorry, sorry. Now, where were you thinking of going? Mr. Smoketoomuch: Uh, to India. Secretary: Ah, one of our adventure holidays. Mr. Smoketoomuch: Yes, that's right. Secretary: Well, you'd better see Mr. Bounder about that. Uh, Mr. Bounder, this gentleman is interested in the "India Overland" - and nothing else. Mr. Bounder (Michael Palin): Ah. Hello, I'm Bounder of Adventure. Mr. Smoketoomuch: Oh, hello. My name is Smoketoomuch. Mr. Bounder: What? Mr. Smoketoomuch: My name is Smoketoomuch. Mr. Smoketoomuch. Mr. Bounder: Well, you'd better cut down a little then. [Laughter] Mr. Smoketoomuch: I'm sorry? Mr. Bounder: You'd better cut down a little then. [Snigger] Mr. Smoketoomuch: Oh, I see! Smoke too much so I'd better cut down a little then! Mr. Bounder: Yes. [Laughter] Ooh, it's going to get people making jokes about your name all the time, eh? Mr. Smoketoomuch: No, actually, it never struck me before. Smoketoomuch... [Laughter] Mr. Bounder: Anyway, ehm, you're interested in one of our holidays, are you? Mr. Smoketoomuch: Yes, that's right. I saw your advert in the blassified ads. Mr. Bounder: The what? Mr. Smoketoomuch: In The Times Blassified Ads. Mr. Bounder: Ah, The Times Classified Ads. Mr. Smoketoomuch: Yes, that's right. I'm afraid I have a speech impediment. I can't pronounce the letter B. Mr. Bounder: Uh, C. Mr. Smoketoomuch: Yes, that's right, B. It's all due to a trauma I suffered when I was a sbhoolboy. I was attacked by a Siamese bat. Mr. Bounder: Uh, ah, a Siamese cat. Mr. Smoketoomuch: No, a Siamese bat. They're more dangerous. Mr. Bounder: Well, listen...can you say the letter K? Mr. Smoketoomuch: Oh, yes. Khaki, kettle, Kipling, Khomeini, Kellogg's Born Flakes. Mr. Bounder: Well, why don't you say the letter K instead of the letter C? Mr. Smoketoomuch: Well, you mean, pronounce "blassified" with a K? Mr. Bounder: Yes, absolutely! Mr. Smoketoomuch: Klassified! Mr. Bounder: Good! Mr. Smoketoomuch: Oh, it's very good! I never thought of that before. What a silly bunt.
Mr. Smoketoomuch (Eric Idle):
Good morning.
Secretary (Carol Cleveland):
Oh, good morning. Uhm, have you come to arrange a holiday or would you like a blow job?
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
I'm sorry?
Secretary:
Uh, oh, you've come to arrange a holiday?
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
Uuh...yes.
Secretary:
Oh, sorry, sorry. Now, where were you thinking of going?
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
Uh, to India.
Secretary:
Ah, one of our adventure holidays.
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
Yes, that's right.
Secretary:
Well, you'd better see Mr. Bounder about that. Uh, Mr. Bounder, this gentleman is interested in the "India Overland" - and nothing else.
Mr. Bounder (Michael Palin):
Ah. Hello, I'm Bounder of Adventure.
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
Oh, hello. My name is Smoketoomuch.
Mr. Bounder:
What?
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
My name is Smoketoomuch. Mr. Smoketoomuch.
Mr. Bounder:
Well, you'd better cut down a little then. [Laughter]
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
I'm sorry?
Mr. Bounder:
You'd better cut down a little then. [Snigger]
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
Oh, I see! Smoke too much so I'd better cut down a little then!
Mr. Bounder:
Yes. [Laughter] Ooh, it's going to get people making jokes about your name all the time, eh?
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
No, actually, it never struck me before. Smoketoomuch... [Laughter]
Mr. Bounder:
Anyway, ehm, you're interested in one of our holidays, are you?
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
Yes, that's right. I saw your advert in the blassified ads.
Mr. Bounder:
The what?
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
In The Times Blassified Ads.
Mr. Bounder:
Ah, The Times Classified Ads.
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
Yes, that's right. I'm afraid I have a speech impediment. I can't pronounce the letter B.
Mr. Bounder:
Uh, C.
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
Yes, that's right, B. It's all due to a trauma I suffered when I was a sbhoolboy. I was attacked by a Siamese bat.
Mr. Bounder:
Uh, ah, a Siamese cat.
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
No, a Siamese bat. They're more dangerous.
Mr. Bounder:
Well, listen...can you say the letter K?
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
Oh, yes. Khaki, kettle, Kipling, Khomeini, Kellogg's Born Flakes.
Mr. Bounder:
Well, why don't you say the letter K instead of the letter C?
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
Well, you mean, pronounce "blassified" with a K?
Mr. Bounder:
Yes, absolutely!
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
Klassified!
Mr. Bounder:
Good!
Mr. Smoketoomuch:
Oh, it's very good! I never thought of that before. What a silly bunt.
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