Good things are happenin' baby!
So - first things first - I just took a gander at my ff.net page, and saw a new review on ASB. Eek! It's been an embarrassing five months (three months - math FAIL!) since I last updated, and not for lack of trying. (That's basically an entire semester. I've discovered I really can't write when I'm stressed, a hurdle I hope to overcome, because it's very much NOT useful.) I hope to update within the next week. I have to write at least 8,000 words in that time (most chapters range between 8,000-11,000 words). And this chapter is a toughie because I am a moron, and didn't figure it into the story outline. I should have found a different way to say what I wanted to say, but what's done is done...
Anyway - a new review after three months of not updating is call for major squee, and it's gonna niggle in the back of my brain until chapter 11 is finished. Aw, thanks so much, reviewer. You (and the sudden decrease of stress in my life) are my inspiration to finish this chapter.
ASB is a hard write, not the least because my skills are not nearly as refined as I wish they were, and there's so much (prose and characterization) that I can't seem to tweak to match the way it appears in my mind. But the whole point of this exercise is to uncover more weaknesses and make a serious attempt at writing a full-length novel. It's still fanfiction, so there's a limit to what can be learned. And the feedback aspect could blind the writer to her faults if all she gets is praise. But - I'm really fantastically lucky with the readers I've got. Even though I write long-ass chapters with a ton of detail-centric scenes that really could have been left out, they read it through and write great reviews. These reviews include great con-crit. People take me to task on characterization and point out errors in consistency, which is grand, I don't want it to stop ever. Their comments make me rethink what I've been doing so far, whether or not it works. I do my best to accept criticism graciously. I couldn't say for sure that I always succeed (and I likely come off as defensive more than I think I do), but I do try. And so far, they haven't stopped. More and more, I've really come to appreciate the things they say, because they're right a whole lot. It sometimes takes me a few months to come to agree, but so far I usually have. And if helps that when con-crit is given, they balance it out with a healthy amount of ego-stroking. <3 Thanks, guys! I don't know what I did to deserve such a fab group of reviewers. I mean, seriously, you're the best bunch I've ever met.
So yeah. New chapter forthcoming. Promise!
In other news~ That "gamble" I said I was taking? Well, it's been took. ;) And it looks like it's paid off!
Basically, what happened was - I was verging on the deadline to pay for the conference. My fundraising results were crap, because I tried to do it while I was pitying myself, panicking that no one would help me, and feeling burnt out from the end of the semester. Looking back, if, at the end of finals, I hadn't felt so stressed, had pushed myself just a little more to start fundraising early, and then had not come home to feel even more panicked now that I wasn't right on campus to ask questions, things would have gone a lot smoother. Why?
Because, once I started fundraising, they did. Go smoother, that is. I initially told my adviser I wouldn't be participating in the conference. He replied by telling me it wasn't likely I'd get in next year if I declined this year, and then mentioned the amount the other student going on this trip received from the school. To be honest, I was really offended that he'd told me these things. One, I would have tried no matter what the odds were of getting in, because I really want to do it. Two, I never asked about how much other students received, so his comment came out of the blue and felt like a slap in the face.
Except, I know this guy - he's not my "adviser" per se, but he works in my major and he's been advising me for this conference specifically. I don't know him super well, and I had a feeling he didn't like me, but I realized that came from my own oversensitivity to doubt in my ability to succeed. He was nothing but kind and helpful while I was on campus. So, logically, I knew that he wasn't trying to hurt my feelings (that would be unprofessional anyway, and I have no end of respect for the staff at my school). There had to be another reason he felt like telling me these things.
So the "gamble" I took was this: fundraise the amount for the conference in one week (to meet the deadline). No, it wasn't likely to happen. I wasn't looking for a miracle. I was looking for something - something I could show people that said, I am trying, so I'll ask you for some leniency. And guess what, it worked. Really thanks to my parents, for turning around and looking for ways to help me when it was clear I was struggling on my own. And also thanks to my adviser for jumping back in with a lot of encouragement when I told him I'd decided to keep trying. And also thanks to the program itself, for being very understanding and giving me an extension in which to turn in the money.
It's not set in stone yet. But it looks like I'll be able to go. I just got a very generous donation from my school president. Once that donation is sent to the program, I'll be good. I need to keep fundraising to pay my parents back for the money they loaned me to pay the minimum due by the deadline. But I'm sure I can do it now.
I have so much to say thanks for, in spite of having been pissy this entire month because of how stressed out I was. So really... thanks, thanks so much everybody.
Furthermore, work started today! It's just the two week orientation, and unfortunately, in spite of only lasting two hours a day, interferes with my being able to go to my friend's bonfire. :< I'll try to pop by anyway if I can, but. Anyway, we get paid for orientation, which is nice. Also, my fellow counselor from last year is back, and friendly as ever. I hope to make new friends this year. Don't know who's working in my group, but I want to get along with them. I have fourth grade girls which sounds like a blast. Before, I had girls age 5-7. They're adorable, but I'm excited to work with girls who are a little bit older and have developed more of their own interests. Maybe next year I'll ask for sixth graders.
They installed a new basketball court on the grounds - it's huge and beautiful, even has a blacktop! And yet, despite sticking out like a sore thumb in the middle of what used to be the flag football field, I didn't notice it until someone mentioned it. -.-; Way to be observant, me!
Work starts officially on the fourteenth, but there's only a handful of campers so I might not be working. But I'm a group leader and first aid, so there's a chance. It would be really nice to get that extra week in, since I'll have to leave early for the conference.
Eh, I thought I'd gush about my new comic books (which include, but are not limited too, the much-anticipated X-Force #26 and Uncanny X-men #524). But I think I'm LJ-ed out for now. Later.
Anyway - a new review after three months of not updating is call for major squee, and it's gonna niggle in the back of my brain until chapter 11 is finished. Aw, thanks so much, reviewer. You (and the sudden decrease of stress in my life) are my inspiration to finish this chapter.
ASB is a hard write, not the least because my skills are not nearly as refined as I wish they were, and there's so much (prose and characterization) that I can't seem to tweak to match the way it appears in my mind. But the whole point of this exercise is to uncover more weaknesses and make a serious attempt at writing a full-length novel. It's still fanfiction, so there's a limit to what can be learned. And the feedback aspect could blind the writer to her faults if all she gets is praise. But - I'm really fantastically lucky with the readers I've got. Even though I write long-ass chapters with a ton of detail-centric scenes that really could have been left out, they read it through and write great reviews. These reviews include great con-crit. People take me to task on characterization and point out errors in consistency, which is grand, I don't want it to stop ever. Their comments make me rethink what I've been doing so far, whether or not it works. I do my best to accept criticism graciously. I couldn't say for sure that I always succeed (and I likely come off as defensive more than I think I do), but I do try. And so far, they haven't stopped. More and more, I've really come to appreciate the things they say, because they're right a whole lot. It sometimes takes me a few months to come to agree, but so far I usually have. And if helps that when con-crit is given, they balance it out with a healthy amount of ego-stroking. <3 Thanks, guys! I don't know what I did to deserve such a fab group of reviewers. I mean, seriously, you're the best bunch I've ever met.
So yeah. New chapter forthcoming. Promise!
In other news~ That "gamble" I said I was taking? Well, it's been took. ;) And it looks like it's paid off!
Basically, what happened was - I was verging on the deadline to pay for the conference. My fundraising results were crap, because I tried to do it while I was pitying myself, panicking that no one would help me, and feeling burnt out from the end of the semester. Looking back, if, at the end of finals, I hadn't felt so stressed, had pushed myself just a little more to start fundraising early, and then had not come home to feel even more panicked now that I wasn't right on campus to ask questions, things would have gone a lot smoother. Why?
Because, once I started fundraising, they did. Go smoother, that is. I initially told my adviser I wouldn't be participating in the conference. He replied by telling me it wasn't likely I'd get in next year if I declined this year, and then mentioned the amount the other student going on this trip received from the school. To be honest, I was really offended that he'd told me these things. One, I would have tried no matter what the odds were of getting in, because I really want to do it. Two, I never asked about how much other students received, so his comment came out of the blue and felt like a slap in the face.
Except, I know this guy - he's not my "adviser" per se, but he works in my major and he's been advising me for this conference specifically. I don't know him super well, and I had a feeling he didn't like me, but I realized that came from my own oversensitivity to doubt in my ability to succeed. He was nothing but kind and helpful while I was on campus. So, logically, I knew that he wasn't trying to hurt my feelings (that would be unprofessional anyway, and I have no end of respect for the staff at my school). There had to be another reason he felt like telling me these things.
So the "gamble" I took was this: fundraise the amount for the conference in one week (to meet the deadline). No, it wasn't likely to happen. I wasn't looking for a miracle. I was looking for something - something I could show people that said, I am trying, so I'll ask you for some leniency. And guess what, it worked. Really thanks to my parents, for turning around and looking for ways to help me when it was clear I was struggling on my own. And also thanks to my adviser for jumping back in with a lot of encouragement when I told him I'd decided to keep trying. And also thanks to the program itself, for being very understanding and giving me an extension in which to turn in the money.
It's not set in stone yet. But it looks like I'll be able to go. I just got a very generous donation from my school president. Once that donation is sent to the program, I'll be good. I need to keep fundraising to pay my parents back for the money they loaned me to pay the minimum due by the deadline. But I'm sure I can do it now.
I have so much to say thanks for, in spite of having been pissy this entire month because of how stressed out I was. So really... thanks, thanks so much everybody.
Furthermore, work started today! It's just the two week orientation, and unfortunately, in spite of only lasting two hours a day, interferes with my being able to go to my friend's bonfire. :< I'll try to pop by anyway if I can, but. Anyway, we get paid for orientation, which is nice. Also, my fellow counselor from last year is back, and friendly as ever. I hope to make new friends this year. Don't know who's working in my group, but I want to get along with them. I have fourth grade girls which sounds like a blast. Before, I had girls age 5-7. They're adorable, but I'm excited to work with girls who are a little bit older and have developed more of their own interests. Maybe next year I'll ask for sixth graders.
They installed a new basketball court on the grounds - it's huge and beautiful, even has a blacktop! And yet, despite sticking out like a sore thumb in the middle of what used to be the flag football field, I didn't notice it until someone mentioned it. -.-; Way to be observant, me!
Work starts officially on the fourteenth, but there's only a handful of campers so I might not be working. But I'm a group leader and first aid, so there's a chance. It would be really nice to get that extra week in, since I'll have to leave early for the conference.
Eh, I thought I'd gush about my new comic books (which include, but are not limited too, the much-anticipated X-Force #26 and Uncanny X-men #524). But I think I'm LJ-ed out for now. Later.