The Meaning of Family
Bill Lindsey inspires me to write all the time, and again today, mostly because I agree with him and there are so many idiots in the world who don't.
Every time a conservative windbag declares that the word "family" should be restricted to a man, a woman, and their children, I get offended. But not because I'm queer. The queer part of me just rolls her eyes at the stupid. I actually get offended on a far more obvious level: I have two adopted siblings. What that declaration is implying, is that my brother and sister are not my family because they aren't my parents' biological children. And that is more offensive to me than anything else.
Sure, sometimes having adopted family members makes for some interesting turns of phrase: I can say my brother is half Greek, half Lithuanian, and it makes complete sense to say I'm German in the same sentence. Or my sister's brother died when he was little, but he wasn't my brother. Or I can joke that I'm not related to my brother or sister, and I'm not even lying. And that's not even getting into the conversation I had with my brother about our family tree (my family tree) where it's all about the culture that got passed down, not the genes. You see? Interesting ways of thinking about family.
But they are unquestionably family. No one gets to tell me otherwise. They are my little siblings - not so little anymore - and they are my family.
So when I hear some puffed up arse claim that just "living together" is not enough to create a family, steam pours out of my ears because that's exactly what creates my family, screw biology. And when I see claims that Biological = Natural, I get insulted on behalf of my siblings because they might not be my biological siblings, but that doesn't make our family unnatural.
So every time someone talks about "traditional" families, but then hurriedly qualifies by adding that two straight parents adopting kids is totally okay, I'm struck by how they only think of adoption as an afterthought. Because my siblings are not an afterthought! They are the literal definition of "family" to me. They are who prove that family is not about biology, but about love. They are who prove to me, that whoever claims family can only be biological isn't worth my listening to. My siblings are my reality, and my experience of family, and anyone else's words just can't compete with real life experience.
A definition of "family" that rests on only the biological, is a lie, and always has been. It makes me angry when people spread lies, and it makes me angry when people ignore my family. My family, you arseholes!
I think I need to go calm down.
Every time a conservative windbag declares that the word "family" should be restricted to a man, a woman, and their children, I get offended. But not because I'm queer. The queer part of me just rolls her eyes at the stupid. I actually get offended on a far more obvious level: I have two adopted siblings. What that declaration is implying, is that my brother and sister are not my family because they aren't my parents' biological children. And that is more offensive to me than anything else.
Sure, sometimes having adopted family members makes for some interesting turns of phrase: I can say my brother is half Greek, half Lithuanian, and it makes complete sense to say I'm German in the same sentence. Or my sister's brother died when he was little, but he wasn't my brother. Or I can joke that I'm not related to my brother or sister, and I'm not even lying. And that's not even getting into the conversation I had with my brother about our family tree (my family tree) where it's all about the culture that got passed down, not the genes. You see? Interesting ways of thinking about family.
But they are unquestionably family. No one gets to tell me otherwise. They are my little siblings - not so little anymore - and they are my family.
So when I hear some puffed up arse claim that just "living together" is not enough to create a family, steam pours out of my ears because that's exactly what creates my family, screw biology. And when I see claims that Biological = Natural, I get insulted on behalf of my siblings because they might not be my biological siblings, but that doesn't make our family unnatural.
So every time someone talks about "traditional" families, but then hurriedly qualifies by adding that two straight parents adopting kids is totally okay, I'm struck by how they only think of adoption as an afterthought. Because my siblings are not an afterthought! They are the literal definition of "family" to me. They are who prove that family is not about biology, but about love. They are who prove to me, that whoever claims family can only be biological isn't worth my listening to. My siblings are my reality, and my experience of family, and anyone else's words just can't compete with real life experience.
A definition of "family" that rests on only the biological, is a lie, and always has been. It makes me angry when people spread lies, and it makes me angry when people ignore my family. My family, you arseholes!
I think I need to go calm down.