What Everyone Else Thought (Part 2)
Title: What Everyone Else Thought (Part 2)
Author: Elffriend26
Spoilers: Vague ones for the series and many for my other fics in this universe.
Rating/Warnings: PG
Word Count: 11,113
Disclaimer: Nope. Not Mine.
Summary: Sheldon and Penny are in a relationship and a lot of the people they know and love have their own thoughts and observations on what is going on. Not a lot of plot but lots of S/P
Note: This story takes place in the same universe as my other fic series:
The Venn Diagram Principle:
http://community.livejournal.com/sheldon_penny/215760.html#cutid1
The Gala Preparation Sequence: http://community.livejournal.com/sheldon_penny/836045.html#cutid1http://community.livejournal.com/sheldon_penny/836045.html#cutid1
This story runs parallel to these series. You might want to read those to get more out of the story. Hope you guys like.
Mary Cooper
When her youngest son announced that he had been accepted for the job he knew he would get at CalTech, Mary Cooper had smiled though inside part of her began to tear away cause her baby was leaving home.
Instead of breaking down, she calmly began to help in the packing that would precede the big move. She also asked him to fill out a contract, one that stipulated that her son call her once every two weeks to give her an update on his condition.
Sheldon was impressed with her grasp of contract usage, and they drew up an agreement which was satisfactory to both of them. When his mother started calling out of the schedule, he promptly called her on it, and was smugly informed that the timetable in their contract did not apply to her. It only stated that Sheldon had to adhere to the schedule. Nothing in the documents required her to follow it. And Sheldon noted aloud that the machinations of the female members of his family could be particularly insidious.
It was during one of these spontaneous phone calls that Sheldon told his mother about the great change in his life. He had already advised her on his current weight and the regularity of his bowel movements. He spent ten minutes describing his latest research findings. Then Mrs. Cooper asked how everyone else was.
After a pause, “In my particular circle of friends, their mental and physical states seem to be adequate. Recently, Raj had an unfortunate encounter with some Thai food he purchased at a restaurant that incidentally did not have my approval. His bowels consequently suffered for it.
“Penny is quite well. I just saw her this morning. I also must inform you Mom that Penny and I have decided to add a relationship paradigm to our current interactions.”
Mary Cooper waited for several seconds. She had long learned to follow the rhythms and patterns of her son’s manner of speaking, but there were still times when the topics her son chose to address left her lost, but she usually caught up...eventually.
“Son, what are you saying? Are you talking about that Penny girl? The one your friend Leonard has a crush on?”
“Yes Mom. That Penny.”
“And what exactly are you two doing?”
“Exploring a relationship paradigm,” said Sheldon distinctly.
Another pause. She thought she knew what he meant, but she couldn’t believe it.
“Does that mean you’re dating?”
“Yes Mom,” said Sheldon in a weary voice. “In the common vernacular.”
“But I thought she liked Leonard.”
“No, she likes me,” said Sheldon firmly. “She revealed her preference a few weeks ago, and I’ve decided that I reciprocated.”
“You like her back?”
“Yes. I just said that.”
“This isn’t like the time Stacy Petersen had a crush on you is it?”
“This is the second time someone has suggested that Stacy Petersen was romantically interested in me. I can’t comprehend why I was not aware of that.”
Mary Cooper thought of Sheldon’s study partner and how she had haunted their house whenever she could. The attention and support she had showered on her son, and the sadness that gradually descended upon her when she realized that her affections weren’t returned.
It had not been the first time she realized her son was clueless, and she wondered what that Penny girl had done to get past that barrier he had.
“Mom,” Sheldon was saying. “It’s Saturday. I need to start sorting my laundry in the next five minutes if I want to get the best dryers. Penny insists on hogging them.”
She was still basically knocked off her feet by his news, so she couldn’t drill him like she ought to. “Okay son. Take care then.”
“Love you. Bye,” said Sheldon. He always said he loved her. Despite the exasperation he sometimes felt toward her. Despite the fact that they often didn’t understand each other. She treasured these aspects of his personality. She knew that they were worth treasuring.
“I love you too, son.”
She pressed three on her speed dial the moment he hung up.
“Hi Momma. What’s going on?”
“Missy Amanda Cooper. Do you know anything about your brother dating that Penny girl?”
“Well... I guess Momma.”
“Missy!”
“Penny told me Momma! We were talking on Facebook. I told her that you would want to know. She said she and Sheldon had talked about it, and he wanted to tell you himself. And he did Momma. When he was ready.”
“I suppose,” said Mary. She couldn’t really blame Missy in this. “What’s that Penny girl like?”
“You’ve met her.”
“Yes but she wasn’t dating one of my children at the time.”
“True,” said Missy dryly. “She’s a nice girl. Feisty. Really sweet. She’ll be good to Shelly.”
“He’s a sensitive boy. I don’t want him hurt.”
“Neither of us do,” said Missy softly, and her voice was understanding. She was as protective of Sheldon as their mother was though in her own way. He had escaped many a beating by the neighbourhood kids by her stepping in, sometimes without him knowing. Mary knew that she wouldn’t simply say that she thought Sheldon was in good hands unless she believed it herself.
“Sometimes I forget,” said Mary. “He’s a grown man, perfectly capable of taking care of himself.”
“Exactly,” said Missy cheerfully. “When you go down there to check Penny out will you tell her I said ‘Wassup!’?”
“Don’t get cheeky with me Missy Cooper.”
She pressed 2 on her speed dial when Missy hung up.
“Yes Mom?”
“Sheldon I’ll be taking the Wednesday flight to California. Can’t come earlier. I have some errands to run and bible study on Tuesday.”
“What took you so long?” said Sheldon blandly and again she was rendered speechless. “That was sarcasm Mom,” he added confidentially.
“I know what sarcasm is,” Mary snapped. “Don’t you start getting smart with me boy. Just because you have a girlfriend now doesn’t give you leave to give me any sass.”
Penny and Sheldon met her at the airport. Mary had liked her the times she had visited, and she admired the way Penny had handled the prank war she had been waging with Sheldon a few years ago. She was definitely feisty as Missy had said, but now everything was very, very different.
Penny greeted her cheerfully, and a less sharp eyed observer might have thought she was completely at ease. She wore a modest dress and flat shoes and looked very friendly and innocent next to her son who was his usual self as he was with everyone.
“Are you sure you won’t let us take you to dinner?” said Penny as they walked to the car, Sheldon carrying his mother’s bag.
“Oh that’s kind of you. But I always make dinner when I come visit so the boys can have a home cooked meal. Do you know how to cook Penny?”
“I make some mean French toast,” said Penny proudly.
“Yes, but what about real food?”
Penny’s smile wavered.
“Missy can make a Thanksgiving dinner if need be.”
“I bet I could if I tried,” said Penny stoutly.
She had spunk alright. It was sad that these modern girls didn’t appreciate some of these basic skills more.
“I’m always available to help with recipes if you need them,” she told her kindly. “Except my peach cobbler. That’s a secret I’m saving for Missy. I’m making some for you all tonight. Shelly do you have ice cream?”
“No. We’ll have to go get some.”
“I’ve got ice cream,” said Penny.
“Yes, but you have chocolate, not vanilla,” said Sheldon firmly. “You eat vanilla ice cream with peach cobbler Penny, nothing else makes any sense. We’ll stop at the store on the way and get some.”
At the supermarket, Mary remembered some items she would need and left them for a moment. She found them near the aforementioned ice cream, defending their brands while Sheldon talked about the consistency of the various creams and the way they stuck to whatever he was eating.
She was sure she heard Penny call him Moonpie as she walked up to them, and Sheldon broke off his tirade to give her an exasperated look. Everyone back home knew that no one called Sheldon Moonpie but Meemaw. He had once shoved an obnoxious cousin who kept taunting him with the name. Chester deserved it too, though she would never have told Sheldon that herself, and she had scolded him as was proper.
Back at the apartment, she positioned herself across from Penny so she could observe her with her son. Girl had a good appetite. Always a good sign. She was still a bit nervous with Sheldon's mother around, but she didn’t let it get to her. She was nice and sweet as Missy said, but it was strange, seeing her with Sheldon, knowing that they were together. Stranger Mary had to admit than if he were Missy or his brother Peyton. She'd had years to get used to that.
“So Penny," she said as she dipped into her piece of peach cobbler. "Sheldon tells me you're a waitress."
"A waitress slash actress," said Penny with a smile.
"So you're planning to build a career on playacting?"
Penny's smile froze a little.
"That's not an easy career hun. What other skills do you have?'
"None to speak of," remarked Sheldon. "Penny does not have a strong academic background to shore her up in case her choice of career doesn't pan out."
"Thank you for pointing that out," said Penny throwing him and evil look and Mary changed the subject.
"What about your parents honey? Are they church going folk?"
"Not every Sunday, but they go a lot."
"And you don't?"
"Not so much here. When I'm at home though...."
Mary had to admit that Penny managed the short grilling she gave her quite well. One of Peyton's girlfriends had once started sobbing during Mary's Q&A. No spine. She had learned not to expect too much of the girls her boys dated, but Penny seemed like she had more upstairs than most. She might need some serious prayers, but she wasn’t a hopeless case. She allowed the conversation to deviate to other topics and started collecting everyone's dishes despite Sheldon's protest.
Sheldon of course had a lot to tell her about his research, but she interrupted, remarking, "Shelly I forgot to ask. What about that whole mess with that fellow at work? Do you want me to go and have a word with that boy while I’m here? You're off the hook right?"
"There’s no need to berate Kripke Mom,” said Sheldon. “We were both reprimanded for our conduct and given a warning. Considering that Kripke started the whole affair with his childishness, I do not comprehend why our punishments were equal."
"It's a mystery honey," Penny said, and Mary Cooper turned in the kitchen in time to see Penny lean across to where Sheldon was sitting, put an arm around his neck and briefly touch her forehead to his temple. Sheldon she saw did not pull away or stiffen as she had seen him do with people he did not know or he was not used to hugging. He shut his eyes for a moment then went back to his food.
She was only going to be in Pasadena for two nights. On such short visits, she tended to bunk out in the boys’ apartment instead of going to a motel. As usual - and as gentlemen should - they offered that she sleep in one of their beds, and as usual, she refused. The couch was comfortable (and it really was or she would have kicked Sheldon out of his own bed long ago).
After everyone else was gone, she got ready for bed, and came into the living room in her dressing gown to find Sheldon sitting at his desk dressed for bed.
By her watch, it was five minutes after his bedtime.
“You okay Snickerdoodle?” she asked, surprised. “I was just going to look in on you.”
“I’m going to bed in a moment,” he told her. He finished typing what he was doing. “I’ve created a fan page for Penny to help her promote her acting career. I just added some glamour shots she had taken, posted some links on suitable websites and deleted some obnoxious posts from some slavering idiots.”
Mary looked over her son’s shoulder. “She certainly is a pretty girl.”
She walked back to the couch and waited as Sheldon powered down his laptop. She needed to say something. It was her duty. “You like this girl, don’t you?” she said as Sheldon turned toward her.
He hesitated, his hands on his knees. “I do. That’s why I decided to pursue a romantic relationship with her.”
“She seems really nice,” Mrs Cooper said, “fiery and fun, but is she for you Shelly? Honestly she’s nothing like you at all.”
“Why would I want to be with someone like me?” asked Sheldon, looking bewildered. “Besides my particular characteristics are very rarefied. I do not believe I will ever find them combined in any female on the planet. Not even Dr. Beverly.”
“Well you and Dr. Bev have lots to talk about I know,” she said drily. “Another time I need to talk to you about that. You have only one mother in this world and she’s sitting in this living room, but that can stew for now. I want to know if you have enough in common with this girl to have something meaningful. It’s not just cause she’s pretty, is it?”
She couldn’t believe it of Sheldon (nor of Peyton actually. She’d raised her boys right.) Sheldon was looking at her his eyes hooded in a stern expression which always reminded her of his father.
It was odd. Sheldon didn’t look much like George, except for the height and lanky build. His colouring and every other feature was different, yet at sudden and unexpected times, the similarity between their particular expressions or even the ways they moved could be uncanny.
“Are you saying that I would enter into a shallow relationship with someone just because I find them sexually attractive?” he asked his voice rising.
“Now don’t you take that tone with me Shelly,” she said sternly, and he bent his head though his mouth was still set in that rebellious way of his. “I just want to make sure that you’re both in this for the right reasons.”
Sheldon looked up at her then down. “I think so,” he said. “Just because I’ve never been in a relationship before Mom doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about this. I appreciate your concern, but Penny has intimated that she is interested in pursuing this as am I. I’m an adult, I can make that decision.”
They looked at each other across the room, and Mary Cooper felt her chest tighten. “You don’t have to keep reminding me,” she managed to say but her voice was gentle.
After a moment of silence, she cleared her throat. “Let me give you some advice though son. As a female, I might have some insight that you would appreciate.”
“That’s true,” he said, looking across at her alertly. “What do you suggest?”
“You be good to that girl,” she said firmly. “I know you know a lot and you’re honest about what you think. I’m sure she gets that too, but remember what I once told you about it working both ways? A lot of the times, you tell people the bad things about themselves. Yes, I know it’s the truth,” she added as he opened his mouth to interrupt her, “but I notice you don’t say a lot of the good stuff either, and I’m sure there’s a whole lot that’s good about Penny. Telling her that now and then won’t hurt. It’s your job to do that as the boyfriend.”
“She has mentioned something similar on occasion,” said Sheldon, frowning as he processed the information. “I will keep what you say in mind.”
“Well you never forget anything Snickerdoodle, so I know you will.”
The next day flew by. Penny offered to take her on errands while Sheldon was at work, and Mary found that she actually enjoyed spending time with her. Her family in Nebraska sounded like solid people.
She felt a little better about things, when they drove her to the airport the next day for her flight home. Once she was checked in, she made a decision and turned abruptly to Sheldon. “Son, could you get me a Mars bar and a can of Diet Pepsi please?”
“You do realize that there will be snacks on the plane?”
“Yes. What’s your point?”
“And if you have a drink now, you may want to go to the bathroom before the unfasten your seatbelt signs are put on?”
“I know dear,” she said, smiling sharply at him. “Now get your buns in gear.”
She turned to Penny as he got to it. Penny looked at her warily. “It was really nice seeing you hon,” Mary told her.
“Same here,” said Penny, smiling with genuine feeling and relief. “To be honest, I was a little worried about what you would think of me and Sheldon.”
“I was a little worried too. But as my son reminds me in words and actions, he’s a grown man and he doesn’t do too badly by himself. And I’ve been praying for him. I trust the Lord sent you to him for a reason. All the same, he needs a little taking care of from his friends sometimes.”
“We all do,” said Penny. “He takes good care of me when he needs to.”
“Good. I’d say don’t let him try to boss you around, but I think you’ve got that pretty well handled already.”
Penny only gave her a mischievous smile.
“He tells me that you’re not a bad actress either,” Mary added. “He told me about the jobs you’ve been getting. You keep that up then.”
“I will.”
Sheldon reappeared in another minute.
Mary Cooper stepped toward her son to hug him and found him actually leaning into the hug, a little awkwardly but definitely. She hung on to him a little longer than usual, thinking of how times had changed.
“Love you Shelly.”
“I love you Mom.” He always said it, no matter what.
At the Gate, she turned to see him watching her, standing coolly with his hands behind his back. Then Penny tugged on his arm with a grin and said something, and he looked down at her with softness in his face, and a lump rose in her throat.
She waved as Sheldon glanced back at her then turned and walked briskly through the Gate.
Missy picked her up at the airport as usual. “So?” she said in the car.
“She’s a nice girl,” said Mary after a pause. “She likes Shelly, and she looks out for him.”
“That’s great.”
“He’s a bit different,” said Mary slowly. “He lets her hug him.”
“Our Shelly? Well good for him.”
Mary had been reflecting during the plane ride, and she spoke slowly, getting her thoughts together. “I want my son to be happy. I think he’s happy with this girl, but still...”
Missy raised her eyebrows, her blue eyes widening a little. “But he’s spent most of his life not caring about females,” Mary went on. “It feels like I’ve lost him a little. I know that sounds crazy.” Her lip trembled a little, and she bit it. She didn’t want to cry. She had no reason to cry and every reason to be happy, and she was, deep down.
“Oh Momma, it doesn’t,” Missy said hugging her. “You know some part of Shelly will always want his Mommy. Peyton and me too.”
“Yeah, I know hun,” she replied patting her daughter’s arm. “No need to start fawning over me.” She brightened. “Just think, if Shelly marries this girl. I may finally have those grandbabies I’ve always wanted.”
“Oh Mommy,” said Missy grinning and rolling her eyes. She started the car. “They’ll have nice blue eyes I bet,” Mary continued, “and maybe blond hair, and they’ll be super smart like Shelly.”
“Smart and beautiful,” said Missy, smiling. “What a great combination.”
The Sworn Enemies
Barry Kripke thought everyone had gone crazy - himself included.
It was just paintball. A stupid war game. Nothing at stake really. They didn’t even play for money, but the games had been getting more and more nerve wracking lately. He was used to being on the winning team, on leisurely walking around all morning , munching on twinkies and picking off the enemy one by one.
He didn’t even have to do much. He wasn’t a very good shot himself, but he stuck with the main group and stayed at the back. He usually lasted for a good long time.
It was probably that strategy that kept him alive during the ambush. They were all walking down one of the paths, quieter than usual, nerves straining, when people suddenly materialized out of the woods around them and the splat of paintball fire erupted in the air.
“Take no prisoners!” screeched a voice that had begun to make Kripke’s heart thump when he heard it of late. It usually meant a hurting was imminent.
The cohort lost all sense of formation and order and scattered. Kripke ran back the way they had come. People pounded all around him.
“That chick is crazy!” yelled one guy at his shoulder, then he shrieked as he took several shots to the back.
“Kripke,” snapped a voice, and a tall figure suddenly rose up out of a bush ahead of him. Kripke stumbled, nearly fell and narrowly missed a paintball to the head.
He changed direction and ran on, heading to a familiar destination. As he drew near to the old shed, someone broke from the trees on his right, clearly fleeing in the same direction. Barry realized a moment after he panicked that it was a team mate.
They reached the door of the shed at almost the same time and tore inside.
Once in relative safety, he immediately doubled over, his hands on his knees, while he struggled to keep his breath from escaping.
“Kripke,” snapped the other fugitive. “Where did you just come from?”
“Am....ambush,” gasped Kripke.
“And you just made straight for here you idiot. This is the only place you could have gone. They’ll find us.”
“Hey..” wheezed Kripke. “Who the heck-” He realized the answer to his question a moment later, and Leslie Winkle tore off her mask to confirm his realization, and he shut his mouth.
Leslie jumped up on the bench, peering out the window.
“Maybe...they won’t...wealize,” said Kripke.
“Of course, they will,” muttered Leslie. “Haven’t you noticed that they’ve become more cunning? More accurate? More unpredictable ?”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “What’s up with that?”
“It’s Barbie,”growled Leslie. “Ever since she started playing more often, things have gotten serious.”
“She’s coming up with thew stwategy?” said Kripke in disbelief. He climbed up on the bench next to Leslie. There was no one in sight. Maybe they should make a run for it, but then it would be easier for them to be picked off inthe woods.
“No,” said Leslie scowling. “It’s her and Dr. Dumbass. They’re the ones coming up with the tactics. The others follow them. I’ve seen them collaborating. Shouting orders. She’s been coaching him too. He’s getting to be a better shot.”
Barry thought of his narrow escape. “What is she?” he asked. “Some kind of military stwategist?”
“No,” said Leslie scornfully. “She’s a waitress in the Cheesecake Factory.”
“Weally? Youw not sewious?”
There was movement in the trees and a group came jogging out toward the shed and stopped at a safe distance away.
Leslie’s eyes trained onto the jaunty looking figure with the blonde ponytail whispering to the tallest figure in the group. Sheldon wasn’t wearing his goggles. He gazed coldly straight toward the window though he couldn’t possibly see her cautiously peeping out. He always looked more steelly in his paintpall outfit.
“Who knows what they find to talk about,” growled Leslie. “New menu specials? He can hardly respect someone in his field much less someone who can’t have any of the same interests.”
“Well they both like paintball,” said Kripke, his eye on the group. “I just don’t get them pewiod. I thought Coopew was asexual.”
She had thought so too after he had been repelled by her kiss.
“I guess not,” she said coolly.
“Well I guess the whole opposites attwact cliche applies hew,” he sneered. She looked at him and he smirked, “Maybe you and I should give that a twy.”
He was not serious! “When the polar ice caps grow back,” she scoffed.
“Whatevew,” Kripke replied looking away.
Outside, Barbie raised her head and shouted, “You guys are the last ones left. Get ready to eat paint.”
“Oh cwap,” moaned Kripke.
In the quiet of the clearing, they clearly heard a familiar lecturing voice say, “Penny! Proper form dictates that we give our enemies a chance to surrender before totally annihilating them.”
“Oh alright.” She raised her voice,“You guys have one minute to surrender. I’m not going to hang around here all day.”
“Well that’s that,” said Kripke, moving to get down.
“Where are you going?
“Suwendewing.”
“You can go ahead then,” she replied turning away with a sneer. “I’m not giving in to Dr. Cooper’s blonde pet...ever.”
“What’s the diffwence? Why you so bitchy about her anyway, youw always going on about hew.”
Leslie didn’t turn around, and somehow she conveyed something to him by the set of her shoulders.
Kripke suddenly sniggered. “Oh my. Youw not sewious?” You don’t have a thing for Coopew do you? Youw not jealous aw you? Oh this is pwiceless. This tops Howawd Wolowitz.”
Leslie turned and gently but firmly put the muzzle of her gun to his chest.
“Get out of here Kripke before I finish you myself.”
“Okay,” he said in annoyance. “It’s just a game. Ovewy dwamatic much?”
She turned away from him again. “This is why I pwefew wock climbing,” she heard him mutter then the shed door bang shut and a moment later she saw him walking out to the waiting enemy.
Penny whooped then Sheldon bent his head to her as she started talking rapidly and gesturing toward the shed.
Leslie pulled her mask on. It was now or never. She jumped silently to the ground. She wasn’t surrendering anything to California Barbie. No way. Not again.
Perhaps she would be able to take one of them out before Mr or Mrs. Smith took her down. She had seen them in combat though. They stuck together to strengthen their odds of surviving. As the better shot, she often covered him while he worked out tactics and gave orders. He’d started getting better and begun returning the favour.
She might not be able to get a hit at all. But never let it be said that Leslie Delores Winkle backed down from a challenge.
She kicked open the shed door with a yell and ran out to meet them firing without pause.
Author: Elffriend26
Spoilers: Vague ones for the series and many for my other fics in this universe.
Rating/Warnings: PG
Word Count: 11,113
Disclaimer: Nope. Not Mine.
Summary: Sheldon and Penny are in a relationship and a lot of the people they know and love have their own thoughts and observations on what is going on. Not a lot of plot but lots of S/P
Note: This story takes place in the same universe as my other fic series:
The Venn Diagram Principle:
http://community.livejournal.com/sheldon_penny/215760.html#cutid1
The Gala Preparation Sequence: http://community.livejournal.com/sheldon_penny/836045.html#cutid1http://community.livejournal.com/sheldon_penny/836045.html#cutid1
This story runs parallel to these series. You might want to read those to get more out of the story. Hope you guys like.
Mary Cooper
When her youngest son announced that he had been accepted for the job he knew he would get at CalTech, Mary Cooper had smiled though inside part of her began to tear away cause her baby was leaving home.
Instead of breaking down, she calmly began to help in the packing that would precede the big move. She also asked him to fill out a contract, one that stipulated that her son call her once every two weeks to give her an update on his condition.
Sheldon was impressed with her grasp of contract usage, and they drew up an agreement which was satisfactory to both of them. When his mother started calling out of the schedule, he promptly called her on it, and was smugly informed that the timetable in their contract did not apply to her. It only stated that Sheldon had to adhere to the schedule. Nothing in the documents required her to follow it. And Sheldon noted aloud that the machinations of the female members of his family could be particularly insidious.
It was during one of these spontaneous phone calls that Sheldon told his mother about the great change in his life. He had already advised her on his current weight and the regularity of his bowel movements. He spent ten minutes describing his latest research findings. Then Mrs. Cooper asked how everyone else was.
After a pause, “In my particular circle of friends, their mental and physical states seem to be adequate. Recently, Raj had an unfortunate encounter with some Thai food he purchased at a restaurant that incidentally did not have my approval. His bowels consequently suffered for it.
“Penny is quite well. I just saw her this morning. I also must inform you Mom that Penny and I have decided to add a relationship paradigm to our current interactions.”
Mary Cooper waited for several seconds. She had long learned to follow the rhythms and patterns of her son’s manner of speaking, but there were still times when the topics her son chose to address left her lost, but she usually caught up...eventually.
“Son, what are you saying? Are you talking about that Penny girl? The one your friend Leonard has a crush on?”
“Yes Mom. That Penny.”
“And what exactly are you two doing?”
“Exploring a relationship paradigm,” said Sheldon distinctly.
Another pause. She thought she knew what he meant, but she couldn’t believe it.
“Does that mean you’re dating?”
“Yes Mom,” said Sheldon in a weary voice. “In the common vernacular.”
“But I thought she liked Leonard.”
“No, she likes me,” said Sheldon firmly. “She revealed her preference a few weeks ago, and I’ve decided that I reciprocated.”
“You like her back?”
“Yes. I just said that.”
“This isn’t like the time Stacy Petersen had a crush on you is it?”
“This is the second time someone has suggested that Stacy Petersen was romantically interested in me. I can’t comprehend why I was not aware of that.”
Mary Cooper thought of Sheldon’s study partner and how she had haunted their house whenever she could. The attention and support she had showered on her son, and the sadness that gradually descended upon her when she realized that her affections weren’t returned.
It had not been the first time she realized her son was clueless, and she wondered what that Penny girl had done to get past that barrier he had.
“Mom,” Sheldon was saying. “It’s Saturday. I need to start sorting my laundry in the next five minutes if I want to get the best dryers. Penny insists on hogging them.”
She was still basically knocked off her feet by his news, so she couldn’t drill him like she ought to. “Okay son. Take care then.”
“Love you. Bye,” said Sheldon. He always said he loved her. Despite the exasperation he sometimes felt toward her. Despite the fact that they often didn’t understand each other. She treasured these aspects of his personality. She knew that they were worth treasuring.
“I love you too, son.”
She pressed three on her speed dial the moment he hung up.
“Hi Momma. What’s going on?”
“Missy Amanda Cooper. Do you know anything about your brother dating that Penny girl?”
“Well... I guess Momma.”
“Missy!”
“Penny told me Momma! We were talking on Facebook. I told her that you would want to know. She said she and Sheldon had talked about it, and he wanted to tell you himself. And he did Momma. When he was ready.”
“I suppose,” said Mary. She couldn’t really blame Missy in this. “What’s that Penny girl like?”
“You’ve met her.”
“Yes but she wasn’t dating one of my children at the time.”
“True,” said Missy dryly. “She’s a nice girl. Feisty. Really sweet. She’ll be good to Shelly.”
“He’s a sensitive boy. I don’t want him hurt.”
“Neither of us do,” said Missy softly, and her voice was understanding. She was as protective of Sheldon as their mother was though in her own way. He had escaped many a beating by the neighbourhood kids by her stepping in, sometimes without him knowing. Mary knew that she wouldn’t simply say that she thought Sheldon was in good hands unless she believed it herself.
“Sometimes I forget,” said Mary. “He’s a grown man, perfectly capable of taking care of himself.”
“Exactly,” said Missy cheerfully. “When you go down there to check Penny out will you tell her I said ‘Wassup!’?”
“Don’t get cheeky with me Missy Cooper.”
She pressed 2 on her speed dial when Missy hung up.
“Yes Mom?”
“Sheldon I’ll be taking the Wednesday flight to California. Can’t come earlier. I have some errands to run and bible study on Tuesday.”
“What took you so long?” said Sheldon blandly and again she was rendered speechless. “That was sarcasm Mom,” he added confidentially.
“I know what sarcasm is,” Mary snapped. “Don’t you start getting smart with me boy. Just because you have a girlfriend now doesn’t give you leave to give me any sass.”
Penny and Sheldon met her at the airport. Mary had liked her the times she had visited, and she admired the way Penny had handled the prank war she had been waging with Sheldon a few years ago. She was definitely feisty as Missy had said, but now everything was very, very different.
Penny greeted her cheerfully, and a less sharp eyed observer might have thought she was completely at ease. She wore a modest dress and flat shoes and looked very friendly and innocent next to her son who was his usual self as he was with everyone.
“Are you sure you won’t let us take you to dinner?” said Penny as they walked to the car, Sheldon carrying his mother’s bag.
“Oh that’s kind of you. But I always make dinner when I come visit so the boys can have a home cooked meal. Do you know how to cook Penny?”
“I make some mean French toast,” said Penny proudly.
“Yes, but what about real food?”
Penny’s smile wavered.
“Missy can make a Thanksgiving dinner if need be.”
“I bet I could if I tried,” said Penny stoutly.
She had spunk alright. It was sad that these modern girls didn’t appreciate some of these basic skills more.
“I’m always available to help with recipes if you need them,” she told her kindly. “Except my peach cobbler. That’s a secret I’m saving for Missy. I’m making some for you all tonight. Shelly do you have ice cream?”
“No. We’ll have to go get some.”
“I’ve got ice cream,” said Penny.
“Yes, but you have chocolate, not vanilla,” said Sheldon firmly. “You eat vanilla ice cream with peach cobbler Penny, nothing else makes any sense. We’ll stop at the store on the way and get some.”
At the supermarket, Mary remembered some items she would need and left them for a moment. She found them near the aforementioned ice cream, defending their brands while Sheldon talked about the consistency of the various creams and the way they stuck to whatever he was eating.
She was sure she heard Penny call him Moonpie as she walked up to them, and Sheldon broke off his tirade to give her an exasperated look. Everyone back home knew that no one called Sheldon Moonpie but Meemaw. He had once shoved an obnoxious cousin who kept taunting him with the name. Chester deserved it too, though she would never have told Sheldon that herself, and she had scolded him as was proper.
Back at the apartment, she positioned herself across from Penny so she could observe her with her son. Girl had a good appetite. Always a good sign. She was still a bit nervous with Sheldon's mother around, but she didn’t let it get to her. She was nice and sweet as Missy said, but it was strange, seeing her with Sheldon, knowing that they were together. Stranger Mary had to admit than if he were Missy or his brother Peyton. She'd had years to get used to that.
“So Penny," she said as she dipped into her piece of peach cobbler. "Sheldon tells me you're a waitress."
"A waitress slash actress," said Penny with a smile.
"So you're planning to build a career on playacting?"
Penny's smile froze a little.
"That's not an easy career hun. What other skills do you have?'
"None to speak of," remarked Sheldon. "Penny does not have a strong academic background to shore her up in case her choice of career doesn't pan out."
"Thank you for pointing that out," said Penny throwing him and evil look and Mary changed the subject.
"What about your parents honey? Are they church going folk?"
"Not every Sunday, but they go a lot."
"And you don't?"
"Not so much here. When I'm at home though...."
Mary had to admit that Penny managed the short grilling she gave her quite well. One of Peyton's girlfriends had once started sobbing during Mary's Q&A. No spine. She had learned not to expect too much of the girls her boys dated, but Penny seemed like she had more upstairs than most. She might need some serious prayers, but she wasn’t a hopeless case. She allowed the conversation to deviate to other topics and started collecting everyone's dishes despite Sheldon's protest.
Sheldon of course had a lot to tell her about his research, but she interrupted, remarking, "Shelly I forgot to ask. What about that whole mess with that fellow at work? Do you want me to go and have a word with that boy while I’m here? You're off the hook right?"
"There’s no need to berate Kripke Mom,” said Sheldon. “We were both reprimanded for our conduct and given a warning. Considering that Kripke started the whole affair with his childishness, I do not comprehend why our punishments were equal."
"It's a mystery honey," Penny said, and Mary Cooper turned in the kitchen in time to see Penny lean across to where Sheldon was sitting, put an arm around his neck and briefly touch her forehead to his temple. Sheldon she saw did not pull away or stiffen as she had seen him do with people he did not know or he was not used to hugging. He shut his eyes for a moment then went back to his food.
She was only going to be in Pasadena for two nights. On such short visits, she tended to bunk out in the boys’ apartment instead of going to a motel. As usual - and as gentlemen should - they offered that she sleep in one of their beds, and as usual, she refused. The couch was comfortable (and it really was or she would have kicked Sheldon out of his own bed long ago).
After everyone else was gone, she got ready for bed, and came into the living room in her dressing gown to find Sheldon sitting at his desk dressed for bed.
By her watch, it was five minutes after his bedtime.
“You okay Snickerdoodle?” she asked, surprised. “I was just going to look in on you.”
“I’m going to bed in a moment,” he told her. He finished typing what he was doing. “I’ve created a fan page for Penny to help her promote her acting career. I just added some glamour shots she had taken, posted some links on suitable websites and deleted some obnoxious posts from some slavering idiots.”
Mary looked over her son’s shoulder. “She certainly is a pretty girl.”
She walked back to the couch and waited as Sheldon powered down his laptop. She needed to say something. It was her duty. “You like this girl, don’t you?” she said as Sheldon turned toward her.
He hesitated, his hands on his knees. “I do. That’s why I decided to pursue a romantic relationship with her.”
“She seems really nice,” Mrs Cooper said, “fiery and fun, but is she for you Shelly? Honestly she’s nothing like you at all.”
“Why would I want to be with someone like me?” asked Sheldon, looking bewildered. “Besides my particular characteristics are very rarefied. I do not believe I will ever find them combined in any female on the planet. Not even Dr. Beverly.”
“Well you and Dr. Bev have lots to talk about I know,” she said drily. “Another time I need to talk to you about that. You have only one mother in this world and she’s sitting in this living room, but that can stew for now. I want to know if you have enough in common with this girl to have something meaningful. It’s not just cause she’s pretty, is it?”
She couldn’t believe it of Sheldon (nor of Peyton actually. She’d raised her boys right.) Sheldon was looking at her his eyes hooded in a stern expression which always reminded her of his father.
It was odd. Sheldon didn’t look much like George, except for the height and lanky build. His colouring and every other feature was different, yet at sudden and unexpected times, the similarity between their particular expressions or even the ways they moved could be uncanny.
“Are you saying that I would enter into a shallow relationship with someone just because I find them sexually attractive?” he asked his voice rising.
“Now don’t you take that tone with me Shelly,” she said sternly, and he bent his head though his mouth was still set in that rebellious way of his. “I just want to make sure that you’re both in this for the right reasons.”
Sheldon looked up at her then down. “I think so,” he said. “Just because I’ve never been in a relationship before Mom doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about this. I appreciate your concern, but Penny has intimated that she is interested in pursuing this as am I. I’m an adult, I can make that decision.”
They looked at each other across the room, and Mary Cooper felt her chest tighten. “You don’t have to keep reminding me,” she managed to say but her voice was gentle.
After a moment of silence, she cleared her throat. “Let me give you some advice though son. As a female, I might have some insight that you would appreciate.”
“That’s true,” he said, looking across at her alertly. “What do you suggest?”
“You be good to that girl,” she said firmly. “I know you know a lot and you’re honest about what you think. I’m sure she gets that too, but remember what I once told you about it working both ways? A lot of the times, you tell people the bad things about themselves. Yes, I know it’s the truth,” she added as he opened his mouth to interrupt her, “but I notice you don’t say a lot of the good stuff either, and I’m sure there’s a whole lot that’s good about Penny. Telling her that now and then won’t hurt. It’s your job to do that as the boyfriend.”
“She has mentioned something similar on occasion,” said Sheldon, frowning as he processed the information. “I will keep what you say in mind.”
“Well you never forget anything Snickerdoodle, so I know you will.”
The next day flew by. Penny offered to take her on errands while Sheldon was at work, and Mary found that she actually enjoyed spending time with her. Her family in Nebraska sounded like solid people.
She felt a little better about things, when they drove her to the airport the next day for her flight home. Once she was checked in, she made a decision and turned abruptly to Sheldon. “Son, could you get me a Mars bar and a can of Diet Pepsi please?”
“You do realize that there will be snacks on the plane?”
“Yes. What’s your point?”
“And if you have a drink now, you may want to go to the bathroom before the unfasten your seatbelt signs are put on?”
“I know dear,” she said, smiling sharply at him. “Now get your buns in gear.”
She turned to Penny as he got to it. Penny looked at her warily. “It was really nice seeing you hon,” Mary told her.
“Same here,” said Penny, smiling with genuine feeling and relief. “To be honest, I was a little worried about what you would think of me and Sheldon.”
“I was a little worried too. But as my son reminds me in words and actions, he’s a grown man and he doesn’t do too badly by himself. And I’ve been praying for him. I trust the Lord sent you to him for a reason. All the same, he needs a little taking care of from his friends sometimes.”
“We all do,” said Penny. “He takes good care of me when he needs to.”
“Good. I’d say don’t let him try to boss you around, but I think you’ve got that pretty well handled already.”
Penny only gave her a mischievous smile.
“He tells me that you’re not a bad actress either,” Mary added. “He told me about the jobs you’ve been getting. You keep that up then.”
“I will.”
Sheldon reappeared in another minute.
Mary Cooper stepped toward her son to hug him and found him actually leaning into the hug, a little awkwardly but definitely. She hung on to him a little longer than usual, thinking of how times had changed.
“Love you Shelly.”
“I love you Mom.” He always said it, no matter what.
At the Gate, she turned to see him watching her, standing coolly with his hands behind his back. Then Penny tugged on his arm with a grin and said something, and he looked down at her with softness in his face, and a lump rose in her throat.
She waved as Sheldon glanced back at her then turned and walked briskly through the Gate.
Missy picked her up at the airport as usual. “So?” she said in the car.
“She’s a nice girl,” said Mary after a pause. “She likes Shelly, and she looks out for him.”
“That’s great.”
“He’s a bit different,” said Mary slowly. “He lets her hug him.”
“Our Shelly? Well good for him.”
Mary had been reflecting during the plane ride, and she spoke slowly, getting her thoughts together. “I want my son to be happy. I think he’s happy with this girl, but still...”
Missy raised her eyebrows, her blue eyes widening a little. “But he’s spent most of his life not caring about females,” Mary went on. “It feels like I’ve lost him a little. I know that sounds crazy.” Her lip trembled a little, and she bit it. She didn’t want to cry. She had no reason to cry and every reason to be happy, and she was, deep down.
“Oh Momma, it doesn’t,” Missy said hugging her. “You know some part of Shelly will always want his Mommy. Peyton and me too.”
“Yeah, I know hun,” she replied patting her daughter’s arm. “No need to start fawning over me.” She brightened. “Just think, if Shelly marries this girl. I may finally have those grandbabies I’ve always wanted.”
“Oh Mommy,” said Missy grinning and rolling her eyes. She started the car. “They’ll have nice blue eyes I bet,” Mary continued, “and maybe blond hair, and they’ll be super smart like Shelly.”
“Smart and beautiful,” said Missy, smiling. “What a great combination.”
The Sworn Enemies
Barry Kripke thought everyone had gone crazy - himself included.
It was just paintball. A stupid war game. Nothing at stake really. They didn’t even play for money, but the games had been getting more and more nerve wracking lately. He was used to being on the winning team, on leisurely walking around all morning , munching on twinkies and picking off the enemy one by one.
He didn’t even have to do much. He wasn’t a very good shot himself, but he stuck with the main group and stayed at the back. He usually lasted for a good long time.
It was probably that strategy that kept him alive during the ambush. They were all walking down one of the paths, quieter than usual, nerves straining, when people suddenly materialized out of the woods around them and the splat of paintball fire erupted in the air.
“Take no prisoners!” screeched a voice that had begun to make Kripke’s heart thump when he heard it of late. It usually meant a hurting was imminent.
The cohort lost all sense of formation and order and scattered. Kripke ran back the way they had come. People pounded all around him.
“That chick is crazy!” yelled one guy at his shoulder, then he shrieked as he took several shots to the back.
“Kripke,” snapped a voice, and a tall figure suddenly rose up out of a bush ahead of him. Kripke stumbled, nearly fell and narrowly missed a paintball to the head.
He changed direction and ran on, heading to a familiar destination. As he drew near to the old shed, someone broke from the trees on his right, clearly fleeing in the same direction. Barry realized a moment after he panicked that it was a team mate.
They reached the door of the shed at almost the same time and tore inside.
Once in relative safety, he immediately doubled over, his hands on his knees, while he struggled to keep his breath from escaping.
“Kripke,” snapped the other fugitive. “Where did you just come from?”
“Am....ambush,” gasped Kripke.
“And you just made straight for here you idiot. This is the only place you could have gone. They’ll find us.”
“Hey..” wheezed Kripke. “Who the heck-” He realized the answer to his question a moment later, and Leslie Winkle tore off her mask to confirm his realization, and he shut his mouth.
Leslie jumped up on the bench, peering out the window.
“Maybe...they won’t...wealize,” said Kripke.
“Of course, they will,” muttered Leslie. “Haven’t you noticed that they’ve become more cunning? More accurate? More unpredictable ?”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “What’s up with that?”
“It’s Barbie,”growled Leslie. “Ever since she started playing more often, things have gotten serious.”
“She’s coming up with thew stwategy?” said Kripke in disbelief. He climbed up on the bench next to Leslie. There was no one in sight. Maybe they should make a run for it, but then it would be easier for them to be picked off inthe woods.
“No,” said Leslie scowling. “It’s her and Dr. Dumbass. They’re the ones coming up with the tactics. The others follow them. I’ve seen them collaborating. Shouting orders. She’s been coaching him too. He’s getting to be a better shot.”
Barry thought of his narrow escape. “What is she?” he asked. “Some kind of military stwategist?”
“No,” said Leslie scornfully. “She’s a waitress in the Cheesecake Factory.”
“Weally? Youw not sewious?”
There was movement in the trees and a group came jogging out toward the shed and stopped at a safe distance away.
Leslie’s eyes trained onto the jaunty looking figure with the blonde ponytail whispering to the tallest figure in the group. Sheldon wasn’t wearing his goggles. He gazed coldly straight toward the window though he couldn’t possibly see her cautiously peeping out. He always looked more steelly in his paintpall outfit.
“Who knows what they find to talk about,” growled Leslie. “New menu specials? He can hardly respect someone in his field much less someone who can’t have any of the same interests.”
“Well they both like paintball,” said Kripke, his eye on the group. “I just don’t get them pewiod. I thought Coopew was asexual.”
She had thought so too after he had been repelled by her kiss.
“I guess not,” she said coolly.
“Well I guess the whole opposites attwact cliche applies hew,” he sneered. She looked at him and he smirked, “Maybe you and I should give that a twy.”
He was not serious! “When the polar ice caps grow back,” she scoffed.
“Whatevew,” Kripke replied looking away.
Outside, Barbie raised her head and shouted, “You guys are the last ones left. Get ready to eat paint.”
“Oh cwap,” moaned Kripke.
In the quiet of the clearing, they clearly heard a familiar lecturing voice say, “Penny! Proper form dictates that we give our enemies a chance to surrender before totally annihilating them.”
“Oh alright.” She raised her voice,“You guys have one minute to surrender. I’m not going to hang around here all day.”
“Well that’s that,” said Kripke, moving to get down.
“Where are you going?
“Suwendewing.”
“You can go ahead then,” she replied turning away with a sneer. “I’m not giving in to Dr. Cooper’s blonde pet...ever.”
“What’s the diffwence? Why you so bitchy about her anyway, youw always going on about hew.”
Leslie didn’t turn around, and somehow she conveyed something to him by the set of her shoulders.
Kripke suddenly sniggered. “Oh my. Youw not sewious?” You don’t have a thing for Coopew do you? Youw not jealous aw you? Oh this is pwiceless. This tops Howawd Wolowitz.”
Leslie turned and gently but firmly put the muzzle of her gun to his chest.
“Get out of here Kripke before I finish you myself.”
“Okay,” he said in annoyance. “It’s just a game. Ovewy dwamatic much?”
She turned away from him again. “This is why I pwefew wock climbing,” she heard him mutter then the shed door bang shut and a moment later she saw him walking out to the waiting enemy.
Penny whooped then Sheldon bent his head to her as she started talking rapidly and gesturing toward the shed.
Leslie pulled her mask on. It was now or never. She jumped silently to the ground. She wasn’t surrendering anything to California Barbie. No way. Not again.
Perhaps she would be able to take one of them out before Mr or Mrs. Smith took her down. She had seen them in combat though. They stuck together to strengthen their odds of surviving. As the better shot, she often covered him while he worked out tactics and gave orders. He’d started getting better and begun returning the favour.
She might not be able to get a hit at all. But never let it be said that Leslie Delores Winkle backed down from a challenge.
She kicked open the shed door with a yell and ran out to meet them firing without pause.