Apr 19, 2007 20:36
Dear Person-Who-Stole-My-Front-Wheel-Off-My-Bike,
I hate you. You have taken something of mine without thought to how wrong this is. I was late to work today because of you, as I had to get the bus. Do you know what work is? It enables you to exchange your skills for money with which to buy your own things. This means you don't have to steal them off people like me, who work fucking hard doing a dangerous job for very little money, who, when they wish to own something, save up and buy it.
I hope that you have no friends. I hope that if you have a family, they hate you. I hope that your life is miserable. I hope that with each passing day it becomes more miserable and wretched. I hope you live long enough for your life to become so miserable and wretched that you wish you were dead. And then I hope you live a bit longer. I hope that when you do die, it is painful and prolonged. I hope it's lonely. I hope you suffer a lot. I wouldn't cry one bit if vermin began eating your body before you'd actually died.
I hope that when you pass on you find yourself in your own very special hell. And I hope you rot there, in a foetid pit of despair, for the rest of all eternity.
I had to spend £60 on a new wheel. You could have done this, and then owned your own wheel without causing me so much aggro. I will not be able to cycle to work next week, as I have to wait for the brake disc which you stole to be replaced.
I trust that karma takes care of all of the above for me.
However, just to be on the safe side, I have you on CCTV stealing my wheel. I have a copy of this burned to DVD. If I ever see you you will wish for the above to come true, because it will be like a holiday camp compared to how much I will make you suffer.
With absolutely no love,
Me
In other news, not only do I have weldburn on my arms, I also have a big bruise behind my right ear from throwing the gas bottle onto my shoulder a bit hard yesterday and clouting myself with enough force to knock my earring out. Go me.
work,
bike