On Internal Enslavement
I read the IE faqs trying to understand what it was all about and came up with a lot of nothing. Any attempt to set a framework for D/s has to do two things 1) explain why it's not abuse and 2) explain how it is different from vanilla relationships in essence and form.
Here is a humorous look at why I feel IE has failed to describe itself:
"how to take possession of a slave"
oh goody, a cook book... now what do you mean by 'possession'...
"One who is the property of, and entirely subject to another person, whether by capture, purchase or birth; a servant completely divested of freedom and personal rights."
Not possible in a free society. You can't be divested of rights, plus capture, purchase, and birth aren't consent. Assessment - meaningless (see end for commentary)
need to be possessed by a dominant
ummm, clueless boy here still wants to know what they mean by possessed...
creates an environment which is emotionally safe and in which her underlying character will be accepted
wow, all my friends in relationships, my parents, and extended family are all practicing IE. Is there any d/s to this? I can't imagine my grandfather would like knowing he's into slavery.
the bond between the submissive and her Master becomes sufficiently strong that she can no longer break it herself
hmmm can't break the bond... the bond of support, caring, nurturing and loving? my parents are really deep into this stuff.
a huge amount of work by the Master and an ongoing effort to hold her in slavery
ahhh so it could be lost at any time. So as soon as he botches it a) consent has returned, and b) he wasn't really an IE master, how convenient for the clique.
achieve a deep understanding of her emotions (including her emotional history) and her view of what is happening in the relationship
Right so they have a good relationship. *gripe* They promised me possession! They promised me tips on enslaving! I was getting all hot and bothered thinking there was going to be hot D/s and all I get is 'understand your partner'???
he is able to maintain an environment she cannot get herself out of (partly because he continually adjusts it so that he remains in control.)
ooo control! maybe this is d/s! Oh wait, the environment is good communication, love and care. She can't get out because it's too good a situation for her to have the desire to break out. Hey, there go my parents again...
Emotional bondage? Is that like emotional blackmail?
Definitely not.
Defined to be not abusive, good for them. What it is remains unanswered....
By observation and more importantly by getting the slave to talk about her internal process and then listening.
Good relationship tip boys. My father is an expert. They used the word slave so maybe we're talking d/s, but slave still isn't defined. I'm getting tired now...
he has to "go in" and examine what is actually going on inside her head
which means what? ask questions? "I need to work on enslaving you... Care to go out for dinner and a stroll on the beach?"
work on whatever is preventing her internal acceptance of his decision
ooo... this my be d/s. it might even be squick-worthy M/s stuff. But no, because working on it may just be explaining all the reasons he really has made a good decision here. In fact, this sounds a lot like herding cats (aka managing programmers)
It often involves "disrespectful" comments and even outbursts in the short term, but buys the Master genuine (rather than just superficial) respect in the long term.
right so the master must recognize that she's human and has feelings. Good this isn't TPE. But, excuse me, again this just sounds like a good normal relationship. Over time through patience and care one partner gains immense respect and trust in the other. I'm surprised they haven't posted a picture of my parents, they'd make great poster kids for IE.
What about safewords?
Kink? Squick even! wait... the reason IE doesn't like safewords is b/c the dom is supposed to know the sub so well she doesn't use them. All his decisions come from such a great understanding and caring for her that he'd never make a decision she'd feel the need to veto anyway. So?
Note: I'm very very strongly in favor of safewords, yet in 7 years of bdsm I've heard a safeword not more the 3 times. And twice that was because I didn't hear what she said right before.
need to be under their Master's authority all the time
could they please please explain this by now? We've now even dropped the pretense of possession.
it is necessary that she have times to express her creativity, to spend time with family and friends and even just to rest
umm.. yeah, so you have the most basic understanding of humans. You've been saying "not TPE!" for about two pages now. Can we get to the d/s already?
her overwhelming need to be owned
owned? they STILL haven't explained that part.
External "Slave Training" schemes you often read about - approaches which concentrate on the form of slavery (speaking respectfully, assumming numbered "slave positions", acting in a "slavelike" manner) rather than on ownership which is the substance of slavery.
Hey! D/s, rituals, kneeling, etc. They can actually define the form of slavery... err... except apparently that's not IE. And they still don't define ownership....
IE leaves a submissive very vulnerable to her Master
and so does any close relationship. Tell me something I don't know about relationships already.
no abusive dominants will have the patience and the empathy to apply Internal Enslavement
woohoo Escape clause! If you're abusive you aren't in the clique! how conviiiiieeenient.
contradictory to the IE approach. IE is based on consensual non-consent.
now who's being contradictory?
the process will remove the ability to withdraw consent in the future.
eeck squick! err... wait. The inability here is based on a powerful close emotional bond. The relationship is so supportive, protective and understanding that I could imagine wanting to leave my partner. Since elf gives me an environment where I can truely be myself more than any other place, and understands my thought process so well, there is no desire to withdraw consent to the relationship. Ooops, elf just became my Master. Help, I've been enslaved! Give me more!
It all sounds wonderful, but is it really for me?
nope nope nope, most people aren't allowed into this exclusive clique of people who know how to have a loving relationship.
To summarize:
Everyone I know in a relationship is seeking IE, my father is the ultimate master, all of you are pursuing IE, I still don't know where D/s comes into this, and oh yes, elf is now my Dom.
proud to be one of "The Elves",
Kevin of Domshire, aka elf_master and master to cherishedelf
-Note: clearly I'm largely granting them a good description of why IE isn't TPE. And I'm hammering them hard on why it's D/s. They did, in fact, attempt to define slavery, via OED. My arguement rests largely on denying that claim. And I think that's founded. The OED definition of slavery is external, enforced through society or physical means. They are claiming some form of slavery different from that, and so must explain what that means. That part they failed to do. The articles on the site do actually go into D/s things, but those aren't specificly IE. The place where the web page explains what IE is and isn't fails criteria 2 I placed at the top.
Here is a humorous look at why I feel IE has failed to describe itself:
"how to take possession of a slave"
oh goody, a cook book... now what do you mean by 'possession'...
"One who is the property of, and entirely subject to another person, whether by capture, purchase or birth; a servant completely divested of freedom and personal rights."
Not possible in a free society. You can't be divested of rights, plus capture, purchase, and birth aren't consent. Assessment - meaningless (see end for commentary)
need to be possessed by a dominant
ummm, clueless boy here still wants to know what they mean by possessed...
creates an environment which is emotionally safe and in which her underlying character will be accepted
wow, all my friends in relationships, my parents, and extended family are all practicing IE. Is there any d/s to this? I can't imagine my grandfather would like knowing he's into slavery.
the bond between the submissive and her Master becomes sufficiently strong that she can no longer break it herself
hmmm can't break the bond... the bond of support, caring, nurturing and loving? my parents are really deep into this stuff.
a huge amount of work by the Master and an ongoing effort to hold her in slavery
ahhh so it could be lost at any time. So as soon as he botches it a) consent has returned, and b) he wasn't really an IE master, how convenient for the clique.
achieve a deep understanding of her emotions (including her emotional history) and her view of what is happening in the relationship
Right so they have a good relationship. *gripe* They promised me possession! They promised me tips on enslaving! I was getting all hot and bothered thinking there was going to be hot D/s and all I get is 'understand your partner'???
he is able to maintain an environment she cannot get herself out of (partly because he continually adjusts it so that he remains in control.)
ooo control! maybe this is d/s! Oh wait, the environment is good communication, love and care. She can't get out because it's too good a situation for her to have the desire to break out. Hey, there go my parents again...
Emotional bondage? Is that like emotional blackmail?
Definitely not.
Defined to be not abusive, good for them. What it is remains unanswered....
By observation and more importantly by getting the slave to talk about her internal process and then listening.
Good relationship tip boys. My father is an expert. They used the word slave so maybe we're talking d/s, but slave still isn't defined. I'm getting tired now...
he has to "go in" and examine what is actually going on inside her head
which means what? ask questions? "I need to work on enslaving you... Care to go out for dinner and a stroll on the beach?"
work on whatever is preventing her internal acceptance of his decision
ooo... this my be d/s. it might even be squick-worthy M/s stuff. But no, because working on it may just be explaining all the reasons he really has made a good decision here. In fact, this sounds a lot like herding cats (aka managing programmers)
It often involves "disrespectful" comments and even outbursts in the short term, but buys the Master genuine (rather than just superficial) respect in the long term.
right so the master must recognize that she's human and has feelings. Good this isn't TPE. But, excuse me, again this just sounds like a good normal relationship. Over time through patience and care one partner gains immense respect and trust in the other. I'm surprised they haven't posted a picture of my parents, they'd make great poster kids for IE.
What about safewords?
Kink? Squick even! wait... the reason IE doesn't like safewords is b/c the dom is supposed to know the sub so well she doesn't use them. All his decisions come from such a great understanding and caring for her that he'd never make a decision she'd feel the need to veto anyway. So?
Note: I'm very very strongly in favor of safewords, yet in 7 years of bdsm I've heard a safeword not more the 3 times. And twice that was because I didn't hear what she said right before.
need to be under their Master's authority all the time
could they please please explain this by now? We've now even dropped the pretense of possession.
it is necessary that she have times to express her creativity, to spend time with family and friends and even just to rest
umm.. yeah, so you have the most basic understanding of humans. You've been saying "not TPE!" for about two pages now. Can we get to the d/s already?
her overwhelming need to be owned
owned? they STILL haven't explained that part.
External "Slave Training" schemes you often read about - approaches which concentrate on the form of slavery (speaking respectfully, assumming numbered "slave positions", acting in a "slavelike" manner) rather than on ownership which is the substance of slavery.
Hey! D/s, rituals, kneeling, etc. They can actually define the form of slavery... err... except apparently that's not IE. And they still don't define ownership....
IE leaves a submissive very vulnerable to her Master
and so does any close relationship. Tell me something I don't know about relationships already.
no abusive dominants will have the patience and the empathy to apply Internal Enslavement
woohoo Escape clause! If you're abusive you aren't in the clique! how conviiiiieeenient.
contradictory to the IE approach. IE is based on consensual non-consent.
now who's being contradictory?
the process will remove the ability to withdraw consent in the future.
eeck squick! err... wait. The inability here is based on a powerful close emotional bond. The relationship is so supportive, protective and understanding that I could imagine wanting to leave my partner. Since elf gives me an environment where I can truely be myself more than any other place, and understands my thought process so well, there is no desire to withdraw consent to the relationship. Ooops, elf just became my Master. Help, I've been enslaved! Give me more!
It all sounds wonderful, but is it really for me?
nope nope nope, most people aren't allowed into this exclusive clique of people who know how to have a loving relationship.
To summarize:
Everyone I know in a relationship is seeking IE, my father is the ultimate master, all of you are pursuing IE, I still don't know where D/s comes into this, and oh yes, elf is now my Dom.
proud to be one of "The Elves",
Kevin of Domshire, aka elf_master and master to cherishedelf
-Note: clearly I'm largely granting them a good description of why IE isn't TPE. And I'm hammering them hard on why it's D/s. They did, in fact, attempt to define slavery, via OED. My arguement rests largely on denying that claim. And I think that's founded. The OED definition of slavery is external, enforced through society or physical means. They are claiming some form of slavery different from that, and so must explain what that means. That part they failed to do. The articles on the site do actually go into D/s things, but those aren't specificly IE. The place where the web page explains what IE is and isn't fails criteria 2 I placed at the top.