Baking plans
If anyone has advice, I'm always willing to listen, but that's not why I'm posting this.
Okay, so I have this friend from work and I adore her. She's a wonderful person, and we have similar personalities. We've become pretty good friends over the couple of years that she's been at my store.
On occasion we've made plans to hang out outside of work. On all but three of those occasions she has done one of two things: canceled at the last minute, or not even let me know that she won't be showing up at wherever we were supposed to meet.
Today was another of those days. Earlier this week we'd made plans for her to come to my place and we'd have some sweet Japanese plum wine and see if we could make my delicious cream cheese filled chocolate cupcakes (which I still have to make icing for, just to remind myself) and my now quasi-famous chocolate chip cookies.
We were both really excited (mostly for the wine and to see if we'd actually accomplish anything that could be considered edible) and I sent her directions to my place via a website we both love. I asked her to be here around 2pm so we'd have plenty of time during the buses running schedule to get the baking and drinking done.
So, 12:30pm I haven't received any messages either confirming or canceling our get together. One o'clock, still nothing, so I'm left to assume that everything is a go. Having experience with her repeated excuses to cancel I send her a quick text asking if we're still baking. Then 1:30 rolled around I still hadn't heard anything from her. I call her cell, and get her voicemail. I left a message saying that I was heading down to the bus stop to meet her so she'd know where to get off, and that I would wait until 2:30 (just in case she missed a connection or something as I know how Sunday buses are around here) and if I didn't see her by then, I'd assume she wasn't coming.
I'm standing at the bus stop, in the cold. There's no bus at 2, so no worries. I still hadn't heard anything from her and figured she must be on her way. The bus comes along at 2:30. No-one gets off at my stop. I ask the driver if I can have a quick peek to see if a friend of mine is on there and just didn't know this was the stop. I look, no sign of her. I'm on my way back to my place and my phone goes off. It's her, canceling, to do "family things".
She has a different excuse every single time: "I have to clean my room", "I took a shift at work", "I have to go out with my mom/dad/boyfriend/boyfriend's mom/etc." She seems to genuinely want to be friends with me, and seems earnestly upset that she keeps backing out when we set something up, but really .... I'm just tired of the B.S. I put up with the exact same crap with someone else and that, among other, more serious reasons, is why we're no longer friends.
Perhaps she doesn't really want to spend time with someone she constantly calls "friend". Maybe, for whatever reason, she just likes stringing me along. Whatever the reason, I'm getting rather pissed. I don't play games. I never have. If I'm friends with someone, they know it. Simple as that. I go out of my way to make time for them. If it's someone who has drifted away from me, I let them go with no hard feelings. No problem. But this stupidity has to end.
So basically my intention is this: I'm going to tell her flat out to stop screwing around. That if she wants to consider me a friend, she needs to put forth the effort. I want to ask her why it is I seem to be the only person she has no trouble backing out on. I want to ask why she can't simply say "no, thanks" to someone else for a change and say, "Hey, Beth, let's go shopping/bowling/baking/see a flick/whatever." And most of all I want to tell her to her face that I'm never inviting her for another get together again, and that if she's really as sorry as she likes to claim, then she needs to own up, grow up and start being a friend in more than words only.
However, I do want to give her the benefit of the doubt before turning into a total bitch about it. The negative experiences I've had with someone in the past shouldn't reflect on her. She isn't the same person, she may not have the same motives or intentions, she might even be sincere in her apologies (I've given up on "I'm sorry" and tearful bullshit since that crap was used as a weapon against me far too many times for it to have any effect now), I don't know. In which case, I'm trying to figure out how to get the point across, really send it home, without hurting her in the process. As I said, she seems a very nice girl and I do quite like her. *sigh* This is why I'm an effing recluse. >.
Okay, so I have this friend from work and I adore her. She's a wonderful person, and we have similar personalities. We've become pretty good friends over the couple of years that she's been at my store.
On occasion we've made plans to hang out outside of work. On all but three of those occasions she has done one of two things: canceled at the last minute, or not even let me know that she won't be showing up at wherever we were supposed to meet.
Today was another of those days. Earlier this week we'd made plans for her to come to my place and we'd have some sweet Japanese plum wine and see if we could make my delicious cream cheese filled chocolate cupcakes (which I still have to make icing for, just to remind myself) and my now quasi-famous chocolate chip cookies.
We were both really excited (mostly for the wine and to see if we'd actually accomplish anything that could be considered edible) and I sent her directions to my place via a website we both love. I asked her to be here around 2pm so we'd have plenty of time during the buses running schedule to get the baking and drinking done.
So, 12:30pm I haven't received any messages either confirming or canceling our get together. One o'clock, still nothing, so I'm left to assume that everything is a go. Having experience with her repeated excuses to cancel I send her a quick text asking if we're still baking. Then 1:30 rolled around I still hadn't heard anything from her. I call her cell, and get her voicemail. I left a message saying that I was heading down to the bus stop to meet her so she'd know where to get off, and that I would wait until 2:30 (just in case she missed a connection or something as I know how Sunday buses are around here) and if I didn't see her by then, I'd assume she wasn't coming.
I'm standing at the bus stop, in the cold. There's no bus at 2, so no worries. I still hadn't heard anything from her and figured she must be on her way. The bus comes along at 2:30. No-one gets off at my stop. I ask the driver if I can have a quick peek to see if a friend of mine is on there and just didn't know this was the stop. I look, no sign of her. I'm on my way back to my place and my phone goes off. It's her, canceling, to do "family things".
She has a different excuse every single time: "I have to clean my room", "I took a shift at work", "I have to go out with my mom/dad/boyfriend/boyfriend's mom/etc." She seems to genuinely want to be friends with me, and seems earnestly upset that she keeps backing out when we set something up, but really .... I'm just tired of the B.S. I put up with the exact same crap with someone else and that, among other, more serious reasons, is why we're no longer friends.
Perhaps she doesn't really want to spend time with someone she constantly calls "friend". Maybe, for whatever reason, she just likes stringing me along. Whatever the reason, I'm getting rather pissed. I don't play games. I never have. If I'm friends with someone, they know it. Simple as that. I go out of my way to make time for them. If it's someone who has drifted away from me, I let them go with no hard feelings. No problem. But this stupidity has to end.
So basically my intention is this: I'm going to tell her flat out to stop screwing around. That if she wants to consider me a friend, she needs to put forth the effort. I want to ask her why it is I seem to be the only person she has no trouble backing out on. I want to ask why she can't simply say "no, thanks" to someone else for a change and say, "Hey, Beth, let's go shopping/bowling/baking/see a flick/whatever." And most of all I want to tell her to her face that I'm never inviting her for another get together again, and that if she's really as sorry as she likes to claim, then she needs to own up, grow up and start being a friend in more than words only.
However, I do want to give her the benefit of the doubt before turning into a total bitch about it. The negative experiences I've had with someone in the past shouldn't reflect on her. She isn't the same person, she may not have the same motives or intentions, she might even be sincere in her apologies (I've given up on "I'm sorry" and tearful bullshit since that crap was used as a weapon against me far too many times for it to have any effect now), I don't know. In which case, I'm trying to figure out how to get the point across, really send it home, without hurting her in the process. As I said, she seems a very nice girl and I do quite like her. *sigh* This is why I'm an effing recluse. >.