,,,
So apparently Kuma died today.
I talked to my Dad last weekend on the phone, and he mentioned that she hadn't been doing well lately, but that he didn't think they were at the point of needing to put her to sleep yet or anything.
I told him I really wanted to see her. That if they decided to put her to sleep or something, to call me first and give me a chance to come by and visit with her one last time...
We got Kuma after our last dog, Chien, a 14 year old cocker spaniel, died. She died when I was in fifth grade, and we got Kuma the summer after my sixth grade year. In June.
When we first got her, she was around 6 months old. We drove all the way up to Ocala to get her from a Bouvier breeder up there. We didn't get her the first time we drove up to the breeders. I guess my parents had to warm up to the idea of a new dog. When we drove up the first time, we pulled into the drive to park and I saw a huge black beast just standing in the grass about ten feet from our car. It looked like a bear. Or something. This was Kuma's dad, I discovered later. He was ginormous. Almost as tall as I was, and he was on four legs. Kuma's mother was smaller, and greyish in colour. She was what they called a "salt and pepper" coat. Kuma had a bunch of other siblings, one of which was sandy in colour. I liked that one a lot, because it was really friendly and came right up to visit with us. But Kuma hung back a little, she was more shy than the rest. But she was also tinier than the rest, too. She was the runt, apparently, and the breeders were originally meaning to keep her as a show dog. They cropped her ears and her tail, and weren't too keen on the idea of selling her initially, but apparently the crop job they had done on her turned out to be botched up, and she wouldn't have been show quality afterall. So after a lot of dealing and bartering, we were finally able to buy Kuma from them. When we drove back to Orlando after first getting her, she sat in the back seat on the floor, by my feet. She threw up about an hour into the car ride, from motion sickness most likely. The car smelled fabulously the rest of the trip home.
But she was really sweet. Really quiet, really docile. Not the typical puppy that's full of boundless energy and constantly nipping and clawing and biting and so forth. She'd let us do whatever we wanted to her. In those early days, we'd dress her up in our dress-up clothes and she'd just sit there and take it. We have pictures of her in t-shirts of ours, and wearing boxer shorts, and all sorts of ridiculous stuff. She was great.
I remember that initially the first month or two we had her, my sister really didn't like Kuma very much. It's because Kuma nipped at her once, and I think my sister was kind of afraid of her after that for a bit. She cried to my dad and asked if we could give Kuma back and not keep her anymore. But I loved Kuma so much already, I begged to keep her. I said I'd take care of her. I knew she was worth it.
From then on, I kind of always considered Kuma as being my dog. Not just the family dog, but mine. I don't really know why I claimed her as such. I guess I figured she and I had a lot in common, and that since we got her around the time of my birthday, it just made sense to call her mine. I took care of her - took her on most of her walks, fed her and filled her water bowl, brushed her hair, played with her. I was the one who took her to the obedience classes and trained her, and took her to the few agility classes we attended back when we thought she might be good at agility. I memorized the phone number to her vet's office, so that I'd always know it off the top of my head, just incase. I wanted to make sure she was well taken care of always. I loved her so much.
Looking back on it, these past four years have been really rough. Being away in college made it so I hardly ever saw her. When I would get the chance to go home to visit, I rarely even stayed at my house, and so consequently rarely have seen her at all these past four years. I regret that. I also regret that in the latter years of high school I didn't pay nearly as much attention to her as I should have. Life just got busy. Certainly, life was always busy to a point, but I guess that's what happens when you get older and you start thinking some things are more important than other things in your life that once held more value, and you forget about the things in your life that have always been there. They're still there, you just don't notice them as much. I didn't notice Kuma as much as I should have a lot of the time. That saddens me greatly.
And yes, last year I got myself a new dog. Strider. And I love him with all my heart. He's my baby. I can't imagine life without him. But of course, even with him, I still loved Kuma as my own dog, too. I never stopped loving her just because a new furry pal entered into my life.
And now I really wish I had Strider here with me. I want to cuddle up to him so badly and hug onto him and hold him and tell him I'll always take care of him and I'll always be there for him, and that even though he might not understand me because he doesn't speak a lot of humanspeak, that I love him so much and that he means the world to me.
I hope I can see him and spend a lot of time with him tomorrow. Sometimes, in times like these, you just need something warm and fuzzy to hold onto.
I didn't get to say goodbye to Kuma. And I'll always regret that. I know I will. It's something I really really wanted. And I knew she was getting sicker, and wasn't doing very well, and I knew her time was approaching. But I didn't make the time to stop by my house to see her. Even though I was in the neighbourhood very often, I still couldn't find a spare hour or two to run over and pet her and see her one last time. I wish I had seen her one last time...
I miss my dog.
I talked to my Dad last weekend on the phone, and he mentioned that she hadn't been doing well lately, but that he didn't think they were at the point of needing to put her to sleep yet or anything.
I told him I really wanted to see her. That if they decided to put her to sleep or something, to call me first and give me a chance to come by and visit with her one last time...
We got Kuma after our last dog, Chien, a 14 year old cocker spaniel, died. She died when I was in fifth grade, and we got Kuma the summer after my sixth grade year. In June.
When we first got her, she was around 6 months old. We drove all the way up to Ocala to get her from a Bouvier breeder up there. We didn't get her the first time we drove up to the breeders. I guess my parents had to warm up to the idea of a new dog. When we drove up the first time, we pulled into the drive to park and I saw a huge black beast just standing in the grass about ten feet from our car. It looked like a bear. Or something. This was Kuma's dad, I discovered later. He was ginormous. Almost as tall as I was, and he was on four legs. Kuma's mother was smaller, and greyish in colour. She was what they called a "salt and pepper" coat. Kuma had a bunch of other siblings, one of which was sandy in colour. I liked that one a lot, because it was really friendly and came right up to visit with us. But Kuma hung back a little, she was more shy than the rest. But she was also tinier than the rest, too. She was the runt, apparently, and the breeders were originally meaning to keep her as a show dog. They cropped her ears and her tail, and weren't too keen on the idea of selling her initially, but apparently the crop job they had done on her turned out to be botched up, and she wouldn't have been show quality afterall. So after a lot of dealing and bartering, we were finally able to buy Kuma from them. When we drove back to Orlando after first getting her, she sat in the back seat on the floor, by my feet. She threw up about an hour into the car ride, from motion sickness most likely. The car smelled fabulously the rest of the trip home.
But she was really sweet. Really quiet, really docile. Not the typical puppy that's full of boundless energy and constantly nipping and clawing and biting and so forth. She'd let us do whatever we wanted to her. In those early days, we'd dress her up in our dress-up clothes and she'd just sit there and take it. We have pictures of her in t-shirts of ours, and wearing boxer shorts, and all sorts of ridiculous stuff. She was great.
I remember that initially the first month or two we had her, my sister really didn't like Kuma very much. It's because Kuma nipped at her once, and I think my sister was kind of afraid of her after that for a bit. She cried to my dad and asked if we could give Kuma back and not keep her anymore. But I loved Kuma so much already, I begged to keep her. I said I'd take care of her. I knew she was worth it.
From then on, I kind of always considered Kuma as being my dog. Not just the family dog, but mine. I don't really know why I claimed her as such. I guess I figured she and I had a lot in common, and that since we got her around the time of my birthday, it just made sense to call her mine. I took care of her - took her on most of her walks, fed her and filled her water bowl, brushed her hair, played with her. I was the one who took her to the obedience classes and trained her, and took her to the few agility classes we attended back when we thought she might be good at agility. I memorized the phone number to her vet's office, so that I'd always know it off the top of my head, just incase. I wanted to make sure she was well taken care of always. I loved her so much.
Looking back on it, these past four years have been really rough. Being away in college made it so I hardly ever saw her. When I would get the chance to go home to visit, I rarely even stayed at my house, and so consequently rarely have seen her at all these past four years. I regret that. I also regret that in the latter years of high school I didn't pay nearly as much attention to her as I should have. Life just got busy. Certainly, life was always busy to a point, but I guess that's what happens when you get older and you start thinking some things are more important than other things in your life that once held more value, and you forget about the things in your life that have always been there. They're still there, you just don't notice them as much. I didn't notice Kuma as much as I should have a lot of the time. That saddens me greatly.
And yes, last year I got myself a new dog. Strider. And I love him with all my heart. He's my baby. I can't imagine life without him. But of course, even with him, I still loved Kuma as my own dog, too. I never stopped loving her just because a new furry pal entered into my life.
And now I really wish I had Strider here with me. I want to cuddle up to him so badly and hug onto him and hold him and tell him I'll always take care of him and I'll always be there for him, and that even though he might not understand me because he doesn't speak a lot of humanspeak, that I love him so much and that he means the world to me.
I hope I can see him and spend a lot of time with him tomorrow. Sometimes, in times like these, you just need something warm and fuzzy to hold onto.
I didn't get to say goodbye to Kuma. And I'll always regret that. I know I will. It's something I really really wanted. And I knew she was getting sicker, and wasn't doing very well, and I knew her time was approaching. But I didn't make the time to stop by my house to see her. Even though I was in the neighbourhood very often, I still couldn't find a spare hour or two to run over and pet her and see her one last time. I wish I had seen her one last time...
I miss my dog.