(no subject)
alright...to explain.
last night i was looking at the AIM profiles/away messages of some of my friends from Pace Manhattan, and clicked on the photo album links in a couple of them.
as i flip through photos of people i felt so very close to not so very long ago, it just made me feel sadder and sadder.
i barely talk to any of them anymore, though when i do see them every couple of months, it's always nice and it feels like i could so easily fall back in there and reclaim my 'place' or whatever.
the problem is i know it's impossible. i can't go back, and it's killing me.
what i also realized, upon seeing all these photos of my friends together and having a good time...i really, really, really miss being so friggin...SOCIAL. all i do here is work and school and work and school and the social things that i DO do (except for the occasional get-together with the HS crew...) are related to work as it is. at the same time, i don't feel the urge to go out and find my social niche HERE. i miss being social with THEM and THERE.
most of the time, this doesn't bother me...or i don't let it bother me, but every so often it hits me in the face.
last night i was looking at the AIM profiles/away messages of some of my friends from Pace Manhattan, and clicked on the photo album links in a couple of them.
as i flip through photos of people i felt so very close to not so very long ago, it just made me feel sadder and sadder.
i barely talk to any of them anymore, though when i do see them every couple of months, it's always nice and it feels like i could so easily fall back in there and reclaim my 'place' or whatever.
the problem is i know it's impossible. i can't go back, and it's killing me.
what i also realized, upon seeing all these photos of my friends together and having a good time...i really, really, really miss being so friggin...SOCIAL. all i do here is work and school and work and school and the social things that i DO do (except for the occasional get-together with the HS crew...) are related to work as it is. at the same time, i don't feel the urge to go out and find my social niche HERE. i miss being social with THEM and THERE.
most of the time, this doesn't bother me...or i don't let it bother me, but every so often it hits me in the face.