(no subject)
I'm sick of guys. It never takes very long for me to realize Merrick's the only guy out there who isn't an asshole. And even he's an asshole sometimes, but it's rare. I just want to focus on school and have as much fun as I can while I'm in college. I need to focus on film. Thankfully I've been doing that and I've helped out on 3 capstones (thesis films) and have learned a lot. Being in the film program really makes a difference. I don't know what I'd do if I hadn't got in. I'll just focus on film and trying to be creative. I've felt like something's missing, like I'm off track since last Spring. Spring is almost here again and I still don't feel like I've "found myself." Usually this involves me breaking up with Merrick, dating other guys, getting sick of them and then coming back to Merrick. I still don't think I'd feel complete though. I don't know what's missing. I think I just haven't met very many people I can relate to and it's slowly tearing at me. I'm getting stressed just dealing with the world.
My birthday is tomorrow. I think it will be good. I hope nothing goes wrong. I don't need any more things to deal with. Please just let this be a good birthday. I spent my last one crying. God I sound depressing. Sorry.
My birthday is tomorrow. I think it will be good. I hope nothing goes wrong. I don't need any more things to deal with. Please just let this be a good birthday. I spent my last one crying. God I sound depressing. Sorry.