Story larva.
At first I did not think I had the balls to quit this art form. I seriously thought about it, considered it. And still I feel as thought it is time for the end. I look at the shots I have accumulated over the years and I feel nothing.
Some, I can still look at and feel what I felt at first click.
But only sometimes. It just... is different. Maybe I have just hit a bit of a low point. When I think about the end of the direction I wish to go and I see nothing. Seriously. I think about all of this and see a road. At the end of the road there is white nothings. A whole lot of white nothings.
I don't think that I want to do this anymore.
I really don't.
And there really isn't anything wrong with that. There really isn't.
I know what I wish to have but I just do not see what I want to do about any of that now. I really don't. And I'm okay with that, I just wish I had some for of advice for direction instead of figuring it all out on my own. Most people have family for that, I don't have family. I mean, recently I have come to rebuild some lost family relationships but I mean now, it's just my uncle and my brother. I don't need that kind of support to carry on my life.
It's hard to explain. I'm waiting for something bigger I guess. Much bigger.
As though everything/everyone I have come across was meant to be there. I look back on the trail that lead to their inevitable entrance in my life and it all makes sense. Then you have to wonder, 'if I did this a different way, where would I be now?'. Well... probably not here, that is for sure. Foooorrr ssuuurrreee.
It's not as though all is lost.
I know what companionship is now. Neville.
I know what love is now. Tanner.
I know what art is now. Simple observation.
Such headaches.
Eh.
I feel like doing something crazy is the only way things will change.
Make sense?
I just feel. Lost? That's the right word. For sure the right word.
What are your stories?
Some, I can still look at and feel what I felt at first click.
But only sometimes. It just... is different. Maybe I have just hit a bit of a low point. When I think about the end of the direction I wish to go and I see nothing. Seriously. I think about all of this and see a road. At the end of the road there is white nothings. A whole lot of white nothings.
I don't think that I want to do this anymore.
I really don't.
And there really isn't anything wrong with that. There really isn't.
I know what I wish to have but I just do not see what I want to do about any of that now. I really don't. And I'm okay with that, I just wish I had some for of advice for direction instead of figuring it all out on my own. Most people have family for that, I don't have family. I mean, recently I have come to rebuild some lost family relationships but I mean now, it's just my uncle and my brother. I don't need that kind of support to carry on my life.
It's hard to explain. I'm waiting for something bigger I guess. Much bigger.
As though everything/everyone I have come across was meant to be there. I look back on the trail that lead to their inevitable entrance in my life and it all makes sense. Then you have to wonder, 'if I did this a different way, where would I be now?'. Well... probably not here, that is for sure. Foooorrr ssuuurrreee.
It's not as though all is lost.
I know what companionship is now. Neville.
I know what love is now. Tanner.
I know what art is now. Simple observation.
Such headaches.
Eh.
I feel like doing something crazy is the only way things will change.
Make sense?
I just feel. Lost? That's the right word. For sure the right word.
What are your stories?