Everything
Everything feels so good now. I am really happy with the relationship that ive regained with my family. We go over to their house to eat at least once a week sometimes more. They call me to invite me places and even invited me to go to the Beach House this summer, which id never been invited to due to my drug use. A whole week at the 3 story beach house with a pool, hot tub and beach front of course! I dont know..it just feels so good to be trusted again. It also feels good to be able to do things like the beach house. A few years ago i could never have done that. I didnt make plans, especially ones that would require multiple days, for fear of withdrawal. And even if you try to bring enough drugs with you to make it you still are obviously high, or you use them too fast and then go through withdrawal anyway. ug..dont even like talking or thinking about that stuff anymore. Anyway, point is that im really just so happy now. Im finally starting to feel normal, or rather, like my "old self."
Work is good also. Ive been a nanny for an infant for the first year of its life, she will be 1yr in a few weeks. Im not really into kids, but shes good. The parents are friends and know everything about my history which also makes me feel good to know that they see how ive changed and trust me with the life of their baby.
There are still a lot of bad things that i did in the past, but i dont really know how to fix them. And as fucked as it seems most of them i dont really care about at all. Maybe there are a few people i would contact if i could, but its too soon for all of that, even years later...I paid in karma for sure. I think that now i am focusing on trying to be a "good" person..or a better one.
Only one thing is missing now.....
ok, xo.
Work is good also. Ive been a nanny for an infant for the first year of its life, she will be 1yr in a few weeks. Im not really into kids, but shes good. The parents are friends and know everything about my history which also makes me feel good to know that they see how ive changed and trust me with the life of their baby.
There are still a lot of bad things that i did in the past, but i dont really know how to fix them. And as fucked as it seems most of them i dont really care about at all. Maybe there are a few people i would contact if i could, but its too soon for all of that, even years later...I paid in karma for sure. I think that now i am focusing on trying to be a "good" person..or a better one.
Only one thing is missing now.....
ok, xo.