And so it is...
So I'm here again...
Such a strange couple of days.
I feel like I haven't been here in so long.
It's been not even 48 hours Michael.
I said I couldn't handle the closeness anymore,
handle the camaraderie, and the hint of something more.
Seems reasonable right?
You'd think so, until you try to live a day in my life without her.
Not just away, but abstaining. Not quite the same thing, and a very different kind of pain.
So like I said, I'm here again. Feelings aside, ...well, my feelings aside.
I hurt her. I can't bear that... and it's foolish to think that anything I feel for her may be diminished by the lack of her presence. So untrue... That brutal fact unveiled itself merely one evening into my decision.
And when you're alone with him, do thoughts of us become diminished?
That's my greatest fear.
I just wish I knew what was going on in her mind, what she loves, what she hates, and how I can make it all better, make all the things she loathes that float around in her mind disappear, and leave her in peace. Maybe after a while, she'll be at peace.
She's like no one I've ever met before, and I'm quite confident, will ever meet again. I'm forever changed, I'm forever not who I once was. I hope she knows the impact she has on me in a very real, and daily sense. I change daily.
I still wish I'd kissed her...
I still wish I'd kissed...
I still wish I'd...
I still wish...
I still...
I...
And now I'm rambling, and a bit under the influence of something, be it physical or mental, but I am, so goodnight.
And so I'm here again.
Such a strange couple of days.
I feel like I haven't been here in so long.
It's been not even 48 hours Michael.
I said I couldn't handle the closeness anymore,
handle the camaraderie, and the hint of something more.
Seems reasonable right?
You'd think so, until you try to live a day in my life without her.
Not just away, but abstaining. Not quite the same thing, and a very different kind of pain.
So like I said, I'm here again. Feelings aside, ...well, my feelings aside.
I hurt her. I can't bear that... and it's foolish to think that anything I feel for her may be diminished by the lack of her presence. So untrue... That brutal fact unveiled itself merely one evening into my decision.
And when you're alone with him, do thoughts of us become diminished?
That's my greatest fear.
I just wish I knew what was going on in her mind, what she loves, what she hates, and how I can make it all better, make all the things she loathes that float around in her mind disappear, and leave her in peace. Maybe after a while, she'll be at peace.
She's like no one I've ever met before, and I'm quite confident, will ever meet again. I'm forever changed, I'm forever not who I once was. I hope she knows the impact she has on me in a very real, and daily sense. I change daily.
I still wish I'd kissed her...
I still wish I'd kissed...
I still wish I'd...
I still wish...
I still...
I...
And now I'm rambling, and a bit under the influence of something, be it physical or mental, but I am, so goodnight.
And so I'm here again.