Just an old graveyard ghost
Um so where have I been lately?
Home. I'm in phoenix again, which is both good and bad- I'm glad to be home and the city hasn't gotten to me yet like it usually does, so hopefully I can hold out and not hate this town too much until I'm back in tucson again.
However I'm also currently in a kind of stupid, shitty state of mind right now.
Here's what's up: I've been trying so hard to be a good friend, a good daughter, a good sister, a good student, a good worker, a good creator...nothing seems to be working. I'm slacking off on the stupid comic, which I guess is kind of ok because it's a stupid little go-nowhere project that I made up for myself, but it was the one thing I could stick to and not fail at during the school year, and now that I actually have time to do it I can't get off the computer long enough to draw a strip. Even now I should be drawing. I'm an idiot for this. I don't want to quit this but I can't seem to motivate myself at all.
I wrote a longer entry, but it's maudlin and self-indulgent and stupid and I play the victim for things that are entirely my fault, so let me sum it up in a tl:dr format: I can't find a job and it's freaking me out. I looked at my grades ten minutes ago and they're not good and I'm afraid to tell my parents and disappoint them yet again. I wanted to see Ash really badly because I want to be a good friend to her but it didn't work out and so I feel like a flaky asshole. My sister is graduating from high school and it's bumming her out but I can't think of anything to say that will help. And finally I feel restless and angry and upset for no good reason, which is of course my best friend depression, making all of these totally manageable problems spin into a completely stupid realm of bothering me.
Whatever, this entry should have been like a sentence long, I'm going to sleep and tomorrow I will write about what I did tonight, and it won't be as angsty but it will be rather more pretentious.
Home. I'm in phoenix again, which is both good and bad- I'm glad to be home and the city hasn't gotten to me yet like it usually does, so hopefully I can hold out and not hate this town too much until I'm back in tucson again.
However I'm also currently in a kind of stupid, shitty state of mind right now.
Here's what's up: I've been trying so hard to be a good friend, a good daughter, a good sister, a good student, a good worker, a good creator...nothing seems to be working. I'm slacking off on the stupid comic, which I guess is kind of ok because it's a stupid little go-nowhere project that I made up for myself, but it was the one thing I could stick to and not fail at during the school year, and now that I actually have time to do it I can't get off the computer long enough to draw a strip. Even now I should be drawing. I'm an idiot for this. I don't want to quit this but I can't seem to motivate myself at all.
I wrote a longer entry, but it's maudlin and self-indulgent and stupid and I play the victim for things that are entirely my fault, so let me sum it up in a tl:dr format: I can't find a job and it's freaking me out. I looked at my grades ten minutes ago and they're not good and I'm afraid to tell my parents and disappoint them yet again. I wanted to see Ash really badly because I want to be a good friend to her but it didn't work out and so I feel like a flaky asshole. My sister is graduating from high school and it's bumming her out but I can't think of anything to say that will help. And finally I feel restless and angry and upset for no good reason, which is of course my best friend depression, making all of these totally manageable problems spin into a completely stupid realm of bothering me.
Whatever, this entry should have been like a sentence long, I'm going to sleep and tomorrow I will write about what I did tonight, and it won't be as angsty but it will be rather more pretentious.