Flor da águas
Each one wanted to tell me their own story, and babá knows I wanted to listen. But there was no time. We had to retrieve as many as possible. They came up from the lower levels of dense spirit, full of sadness, anger, despair and from the pain that Earth herself is going through. We had to breathe calmly and try to keep the sense of our own existence, otherwise we would be lost among such confusion, our identities shattered by fragmented realities.
The presence of "I Am" as the eternal part of us made itself felt whenever we asked for help and for balance. The presence of brothers and sisters, both from this and from other spirit-layers, was also decisive. When one forgets how to breathe and starts to become lost among the images of distorted souls, another, somewhere inside the circle, inhales and exhales, saving the first one from crumbling. "You exist, you can breathe and you are connected to everyone. You won't be lost. We are all here."
Some of them passed through our bodies and went up to the center of the hexagram, where they waited for the second part of the ritual to begin. Some of them climbed through us and sat at our sides, and I remember mentaly saying to them: "Hey, you guys wait, now, ok? There's a few songs I'd like you to listen to. Just a moment, now." And some of them never made it through: they raised from the lower planes, we felt their hands gripping our feet and legs, and then they were not there anymore, as if something had pulled them back down. I don't understand this process, yet - we are unable to save everyone that comes for help. This realization makes us feel small and worthless.
And just when you're feeling small and insignificant and sad, just when the demons of the self you've kept at bay during the whole work begin to approach full force, just then... The songs begin. They inject new strength into us, and renew our love for every single creature of all times. They renew our understanding of those processes that create demons and make spirits insane. And most important of all: the songs conduct those we retrieved upwards, making them less dense, allowing them to enter higher planes, where suffering will stop.
I felt my guides and spirit helpers and protectors and ancestrals with me at all times, even when I went outside and heard the horrible voices, something out of a Clive Barker story... My guides were protecting me, but in case I had anger, envy, greed or anything like that inside, there wouldn't be much they could do to help me against the voices. It's a mirror. We must follow the Tao and seek balance between light and darkness, uniting our good and our evil into our One. The size of your light is the size of your darkness.
Then the lights are on, and the songs keep going. This time one woman is singing about the witch doctors coming from the Astal planes, pouring their light on us, making us fly up to where they stand. The mandalas on the ceiling turn round and round, and the colors are so vivid and impossible to describe. Then a man starts to sing a song of forgiveness, in which we beg The Mother to forgive us, for all the times in which our ego became too big. The Mother is now at the center. She is beautiful, and she sets us free from ourselves for a few moments, and we become everything, we become her.
The presence of "I Am" as the eternal part of us made itself felt whenever we asked for help and for balance. The presence of brothers and sisters, both from this and from other spirit-layers, was also decisive. When one forgets how to breathe and starts to become lost among the images of distorted souls, another, somewhere inside the circle, inhales and exhales, saving the first one from crumbling. "You exist, you can breathe and you are connected to everyone. You won't be lost. We are all here."
Some of them passed through our bodies and went up to the center of the hexagram, where they waited for the second part of the ritual to begin. Some of them climbed through us and sat at our sides, and I remember mentaly saying to them: "Hey, you guys wait, now, ok? There's a few songs I'd like you to listen to. Just a moment, now." And some of them never made it through: they raised from the lower planes, we felt their hands gripping our feet and legs, and then they were not there anymore, as if something had pulled them back down. I don't understand this process, yet - we are unable to save everyone that comes for help. This realization makes us feel small and worthless.
And just when you're feeling small and insignificant and sad, just when the demons of the self you've kept at bay during the whole work begin to approach full force, just then... The songs begin. They inject new strength into us, and renew our love for every single creature of all times. They renew our understanding of those processes that create demons and make spirits insane. And most important of all: the songs conduct those we retrieved upwards, making them less dense, allowing them to enter higher planes, where suffering will stop.
I felt my guides and spirit helpers and protectors and ancestrals with me at all times, even when I went outside and heard the horrible voices, something out of a Clive Barker story... My guides were protecting me, but in case I had anger, envy, greed or anything like that inside, there wouldn't be much they could do to help me against the voices. It's a mirror. We must follow the Tao and seek balance between light and darkness, uniting our good and our evil into our One. The size of your light is the size of your darkness.
Then the lights are on, and the songs keep going. This time one woman is singing about the witch doctors coming from the Astal planes, pouring their light on us, making us fly up to where they stand. The mandalas on the ceiling turn round and round, and the colors are so vivid and impossible to describe. Then a man starts to sing a song of forgiveness, in which we beg The Mother to forgive us, for all the times in which our ego became too big. The Mother is now at the center. She is beautiful, and she sets us free from ourselves for a few moments, and we become everything, we become her.