What THe F**K is going on in my life?
Ok peeps I have been givin more than My healthy share of drama today..My dad calls me up this morning when I'm on my way home from Erica Shay's house. I stayed there this weekend cause I was tired of listening to them argue I played B Ball with E-bay outside on Saturday...and some on Sunday...well anyway my dad called me up on Jean's phone and told me that My mother was going to put a restraining order on him..cause yall know that they have been fighting and what not. Well anywayz he told me that if she did that he was going to get his sister ,who owns the trailer in which we live in, to kick her out...and she won't have no place to live but he said we could still live there...what is he trying to play out I'm just going to let him kick out my Mother...where is she going to go? she doesn't have any family down here...she only has like 4 friends none of whom he likes...Regina, Jeniffer, Sandy and JJ...they are all crazy Bia's I love Sandy..not only because she bore Brandon but she is my other mother...and if we didnt' have the dogs we would be living with her right now..but mom doesn't want to leave the dogs with James...he is good to the animals...I don't know she just doesn't want to part with them..I don't care I have a roof over my head even if it is an unstable one...so we moved almost all of Dads stuff out...cause my mom said she couldnt' even look at him cause he was 'taunting' her by coming in the house to get things and take showers...which I can understand NOT the TAUNTING part but that she doesn't want to look at him..HE was the one that wanted the divorce which they are getting...Mother went to the H.O.G and got help from the lawyers there...And I don't know how she got them to help her but they did. Those women are crazy Feminist and they are all against the man...I don't want to visit there unless I really need their help...so now I'm sitting here listening to sad Keith Urban songs...he is dead sexy..I got this insane HP story that I'm reading on Fanfiction I love it and the writer can't update fast enough for me...hehe...well...when Dad called me this morning it got me really upset...I came in the house yelling at mother asking her why she was putting a stupid restraining order on him it isn't as if he was deliberatly messing with her or something....its not as if he gets up every morning and goes over in his head how he can fuck up her day..I don't know..well anyway she called off the order for right now..I guess she does listen to me after all..I wouldn't of known..I'm a senior in exactly 2 weeks...how crazy is that I've been waiting for this year for 13 years more than that more than likely....Binkley is still a sophmoreand we went to daycare together..I turn 18 in Aug..I'm not ready for it...I think I have some sort of disorder..I wish I did anyway...
The saddest thing about growing up? You stop believing in Fairy Tales....I use to believe that Peter Pan would take me away from my mother if I was good enough if I believed hard enough...If I left the window open for him every night...even in the winter I made my mom leave my window open just in case that one night he decided to show up...I never had a peter pan to come into my window...Brandon did a couple times though...That hurts more than anything...I use to think that I could stay young forever...never grow up...and it makes me sad on the insides...why did my life turn out this way..why is my life such a waste why are my parents horrible and why am I awful to look at? It all revolves around my real dad telling me that if I believed in something long and hard enough that it would come true...and up even until last night when I stood of Jeans front porch and looked up to the skies....I wish I could believe...sometimes though it just hurts too much. So my Peter Pan will never come I'm afraid I will always hope. But I see no signs of my rain slacking.
Brandon by the way has a GF now by the name of AMANDA she is supposidly not ugly but VERY skinny I'm talkin about NO MEAT skinny...she has shorter hair and its blondish...I don't know..I'm supposidly suppose to be over him by now but it kinda hurts...first love always hurts you know? I need some type of guidance..Not from Religiouse either...I don't know what I'm going to do...
But anyway..I shall leave you all with another song.
You'll Think of Me...by Keith Urban
Woke up early this morning around 4am
with the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
but thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been trying my best to get along but thats ok
There's nothing left to say but
....chorus.....
take your records take your freedom
take your memories I don't need em
take your space and take your reasons
but you'll think of me
and take your cat and leave my sweater
cause we have nothing left ot weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
but you'll think of me
You'll think of me
I went out driving tryin to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the rooms that My emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
and all the bagage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
is not knowing what we could've been
what we SHOULD'VE been
Chorus
Someday
I'm gonna run across your mind
but don't worry I'll be fine
I'm gonna be all right
While your sleepin with your pride
wishin I could hold you tight
I'll be over you and on with my life
chours times 3
you'll think of me...you'll think of me
and your gonna think of me
oohhh someday baby someday...
think of me....hmmmmm
The saddest thing about growing up? You stop believing in Fairy Tales....I use to believe that Peter Pan would take me away from my mother if I was good enough if I believed hard enough...If I left the window open for him every night...even in the winter I made my mom leave my window open just in case that one night he decided to show up...I never had a peter pan to come into my window...Brandon did a couple times though...That hurts more than anything...I use to think that I could stay young forever...never grow up...and it makes me sad on the insides...why did my life turn out this way..why is my life such a waste why are my parents horrible and why am I awful to look at? It all revolves around my real dad telling me that if I believed in something long and hard enough that it would come true...and up even until last night when I stood of Jeans front porch and looked up to the skies....I wish I could believe...sometimes though it just hurts too much. So my Peter Pan will never come I'm afraid I will always hope. But I see no signs of my rain slacking.
Brandon by the way has a GF now by the name of AMANDA she is supposidly not ugly but VERY skinny I'm talkin about NO MEAT skinny...she has shorter hair and its blondish...I don't know..I'm supposidly suppose to be over him by now but it kinda hurts...first love always hurts you know? I need some type of guidance..Not from Religiouse either...I don't know what I'm going to do...
But anyway..I shall leave you all with another song.
You'll Think of Me...by Keith Urban
Woke up early this morning around 4am
with the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
but thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been trying my best to get along but thats ok
There's nothing left to say but
....chorus.....
take your records take your freedom
take your memories I don't need em
take your space and take your reasons
but you'll think of me
and take your cat and leave my sweater
cause we have nothing left ot weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
but you'll think of me
You'll think of me
I went out driving tryin to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the rooms that My emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
and all the bagage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
is not knowing what we could've been
what we SHOULD'VE been
Chorus
Someday
I'm gonna run across your mind
but don't worry I'll be fine
I'm gonna be all right
While your sleepin with your pride
wishin I could hold you tight
I'll be over you and on with my life
chours times 3
you'll think of me...you'll think of me
and your gonna think of me
oohhh someday baby someday...
think of me....hmmmmm