HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTOPHER.
I doubt you'll even read this but..
[14 Nov 2005 | 11:02am]
Happy Birthday. We weren't speaking on your birthday last year, or this year so.. Happy birthday 19 & 20.
Well for the first time in 3 years we are actually talking, and were friends <3 Happy Birthday 21!
I think were getting along pretty good actually, and I think ive realized my problem with Chris isn't that I cant understand why he wont be with me, its more that I don't think I can accept that I wasted almost 2 years on trying to make him happy, and trying to get him to want to be with me. I think I kept trying for so long to be in a relationship with him just so I could say that it was worth it. It was worth all those tears and it was worth all of the bullshit I put up with because it worked out in the end... but it hasn't and thats my problem. I have been trying to meet new people though. Im talking to a few guys, but none of them keep my mind off of Chris. I actually just compare them to him, and then I push them away.
Anyway I am moving out in January. Jessica and I are getting a place in Lowell. It will be really nice to get away from home I think a lot of things will change <3