Q&A reponse from my astrologer
I was in a relationship for about 6 years, a relationship characterized by a lot of pain and betrayal inflicted on me by my girlfriend. I realize I was drawn to her, as I have been drawn to women in my past, because she was hurt deeply as a child and I somehow feel like I can help these women by healing them. That was why I stuck with her after so many years, even though she kept hurting me. The result is disastrous. Fortunately, I have learned a lot from this relationship and now realize that I cannot resolve my childhood through relationships with damaged women. I need to seek out women who are whole. What next? I would still like to resolve things with my ex since I have never been so in love before but that is probably not realistic. I would very much like to have at least two more children but am I too old for that? I sometimes feel like I missed the boat and should give up on this dream although I am still hoping to find a woman my age who is whole, who completes me without missing anything and who wants kids. Does my chart give any hints? I was born on 2/21/70. (GK)
Ouch, relationships can be the cause of terrible pain for any of us but perhaps the people most sensitive to this kind of suffering would be those with Venus exalted in Pisces, your position. And yet, they are the most likely to experience suffering in relationships as they heal themselves of many karmic memories through these tragic relationships. You met this great love at your Saturn return which is a common time to want to deepen our life choices and often a time to marry so you were seeking a serious and lasting relationship at that time. However, transiting Pluto was squaring your north node at the same time indicating that this was a karmic and healing relationship rather than the lasting one you envisioned. Now Uranus is conjuncting your north node indicating the end of that relationship, the old and painful relationship pattern and of your need to try to heal the women rather than yourself. Transiting Saturn just finished squaring your natal Saturn revealing the impossibility of this earlier Saturn return choice to meet your genuine needs. The most crucial transit in your chart at this time is the transiting Pluto square to your natal Pluto in the 8th house of profound intimacy and the need for your deep and transformative healing.
You are a Pisces, a transpersonal sign, so your natal Pluto position reveals what is most imperative for your soul growth in this lifetime. You are here to heal all your relationships from this life and many others. This healing is not meant to change or perfect any of the people from your adult life or your childhood family but to allow you to see them all as deeply wounded and in need of your compassion, forgiveness and generosity of spirit. This will heal you and finally free you to find a love that is both conscious and sweet, the real desire of your Venus in Pisces. This square is your time to truly let go and start again. During this time work on your own healing and then notice that your progressed Moon which rules your marriage house will conjunct your ascendant in 8 to 9 months indicating both your readiness and the opportunity for something new and deep in you and with a woman. With your natal Venus trine Jupiter and Venus ruling your 5th house of romance and children you do want more children and will no doubt have them. That will come later and needs to emanate from the right relationship. Don’t give up on anything because Neptune your Sun sign ruler is going to enter Pisces in 2011 and Pluto will conjunct your ascendant in 2012 so your best and most personally and spiritually satisfying years are definitely ahead of you.