Aug 01, 2004 17:35
Ah, what do I say now? I've had millions of thoughts flying through my head and now I'm not sure what to preserve in here. Well first off, I just had the best weekend of my life with A, no joke. I had so so so much fun and he makes me oh so happy. But all I keep doing is thinking about that and then about him leaving. And...I wish I knew what he's thinking. Is this just a summer fling? Or are we going to try and make something out of this? I'd be overjoyed for a relationship; I'd absolutely love to be with him. But I'm not sure if he does. Jesus mother fecking Christ, I cried today. That's so uncharacteristic of me. I don't want him to leave...I don't want to leave. I'm going to miss him so much. More than he knows. A smoke will sorta make things better..
-N