Texts from Irene Adler
For those of you not on the friend's list of the fabulous pennswoods, eight of LJ Sherlockians ended up playing a fun little game yesterday. pennswoods wanted to do celebrate her birthday yesterday with all things Sherlock, and we all chose characters and exchanged phone numbers for a bit of text message roleplaying through out the day. The plot was that rumor has it that April 16th is Sherlock's birthday and a Dickens manuscript has been stolen; though the plot drifted away from that most of the time.
I played Irene Adler, which was something new, as I've been text message roleplaying Lestrade in a Mystrade plot for a couple months now, but it was so much fun playing her. She's snarky and full of innuendo, but incredibly human underneath that. And since my good friend chaeche was playing Moriarty, we decided to meet up in person and work that into the game, and I decided that was the perfect excuse for a little cosplay. It turned out pretty decent for how last minute it was. The thing about amassing a huge collection of cosplay paraphernalia is that impromptu cosplay becomes easier and easier when you have a huge collection of wigs and costume pieces to choose from. Hahaha.
Anyway, the day was a TON of fun, and my phone was constantly pinging and I kept texting and laughing and it almost felt like MY birthday too.
Jim Moriarty: Darling, what are you up to this fine morning? Stayin' alive?
Irene Adler: Is that the best you've got? Stayin' alive? Do these lines actually work on women?
Jim Moriarty: On ordinary ones yes but you are definitely not ordinary. Have you picked out a present for the birthday boy?
Irene Adler: Well, I do appreciate that. He's insisting it's not his birthday.
Jim Moriarty: Maybe he needs some convincing.
Remind him I am wearing these. (Picture message of women's underwear with "ALL THIS and brains too" written across the butt)
Irene Adler: You want me to remind him of the pants you are wearing?
Jim Moriarty: If he needs reminding. Pretty memorable, huh?
Sherlock was a bit slow in solving my first riddle. Perhaps his pet was distracting him?
Irene Adler: I dare say I won't be forgetting any time soon. And how, may I ask, did Sherlock come to see these pants of yours?
You always say pet, but it they were actually ever to take it to the bedroom, I highly doubt Sherlock would be the one in charge.
Jim Moriarty: Of course not. We both know Sherlock would look ravishing in a ball gag yes?
Perhaps you are lucky enough to have firsthand knowledge?
Irene Adler: It would serve it's purpose well in his mouth, but I do think those gorgeous lips of his could be put to better use.
Jim Moriarty: I like to picture him licking my boots.
Irene Adler: I'd photograph that.
Jim Moriarty: Poor Sherlock would be so upset if he knew his only intellectual equals spent his birthday exchanging lewd texts about him.
Irene Adler: I must confess, I didn't realize you had considered him in such a way. Not that I blame you...
Jim Moriarty: I have my types.
Are you invited to the party with the Baker Street Boys tonight?
Irene Adler: Don't say your type is intellectual. I've seen some of the women you chat up.
No, I wasn't aware there was a party. How terribly rude of them.
Jim Moriarty: Seriously. Perhaps we should have one without them. I am in town for a jewelry heist but it should be wrapped up by 6.
Irene Adler: Indeed. Like a party without us will offer him any real stimulation.
Jim Moriarty: Celebrating with a bunch of monkeys.
Irene Adler: Dear me, you'll never guess who decided to rethink his sexuality.
Jim Moriarty: Mycroft just caved and told me the address for the party.
Irene Adler: Really? I heard he wasn't invited either. But John is being quite rude to me.
Jim Moriarty: Who?
Pub called the Horsehead in 1 hr. Wanna crash?
John cannot stop talking about my penis.
I think Sherlock has been withholding sex and it has made him randy.
Irene Adler: Horsehead? I'm afraid I don't know that one. But I would very much enjoy that. Your penis now? My, when that man realized he's gay, he didn't hold anything back, did he?
Now John told me they've been shagging today. We're getting conflicting stories here, love.
Jim Moriarty: Hmmmm. Did he provide sordid details?
Irene Adler: No, though I did try. It sounds like there is video footage though that Mycroft Holmes took and will let me watch
Jim Moriarty: That sounds like a reason to throw a party.
Irene Adler: It does indeed.
Film at 8.
Jim Moriarty: Want to come over and watch it with me?
Irene Adler: Do you have a copy? Mycroft has invited me over to his.
Jim Moriarty: I can procure one.
Irene Adler: Splendid.
Threatening the detective inspector with bombs now? Naughty boy.
Irene Adler: I heard today is your birthday. Let's have dinner.
Sherlock Holmes: A vicious rumor. Sorry about dinner. -SH
Irene Adler: I'm not entirely sure I believe that.You were born some time, darling. But I'll play along. Someone is spreading awful gossip about you, poor thing. Let me take you to dinner, I'll make it all better.
Sherlock Holmes: What is Moriarty's interest in Dickens? -SH
Birthdays are boring. -SH
Irene Adler: I don't think he has an interest in Dickens so much as an interest in playing mind games with you.
I could change that.
Sherlock Holmes: And it's not my birthday! It's a diversion from Moriarty! -SH
Do that and I might consider dinner. -SH
Irene Adler: You do know what a good birthday with me would entail, correct?
You having an exciting birthday? I didn't imagine you could without me...
Sherlock Holmes: Your former associate is keeping me rather busy. -SH
Irene Adler: Jim? Nothing former about it, darling. I'm on my way to meet him now. I hear he's got a very captivating video of you and the good doctor.
Irene Adler: Is it true there's a party for him tonight? And you didn't invite me?
John Watson: Is this THE WOMAN? If it is, hell no, you're not invited
Irene Adler: I've been known to go by that, yes. And why not? I can't imagine he doesn't want me there.
John Watson: He'll be too busy shagging me, sweetheart.
Irene Adler: Not that I'm particularly surprised, but what happened to "I'm not gay"?
John Watson: I changed my mind. Why don't you go bother Mycroft, we didn't invite the creeper either.
Irene Adler: My, my. Tell me how he is then, will you? Virgins are so much fun.
John Watson: Perfect, although he insisted the skull watch.
Irene Adler: Details, love, I want details.
John Watson: Ask Mycroft, I'm sure the pervert taped it.
Irene Adler: Oh my, it might be my birthday as well. So tell me. What was it that changed your mind?
John Watson: Had to be his voice, and his ass isn't too bad either. Plus he kept scaring off all my girlfriends.
Irene Adler: Not too bad? That man could model for a statue.
John Watson: Yes he could!
Irene Adler: So no hard feelings then? I can come to the party?
John Watson: Only if you stay away from Sherlock! Try Lestrade, Mycroft said he was hung like a horse.
Irene Adler: Feeling a bit insecure, are we? And why does Mycroft know about Detective Lestrade's endowment?
John Watson: You'll have to ask Mycroft! And no, they don't call me 3 Continent Watson for nothing.
Irene Adler: Who calls you that?
John Watson: Everyone!
Irene Adler: I don't call you that.
John Watson: I've never had you. :)
Irene Adler: Pity. For you.
John Watson: Not really, I've made it this far without any STDs, I'd like to keep it that way.
Irene Adler: You're awfully rude tonight, Doctor Watson
John Watson: You bring out the worst in me, my dear.
Irene Adler: And why do you think that is?
John Watson: Because your tits are bigger than mine. :)
Irene Adler: It's true, they are fantastic.
John Watson: Sherlock doesn't like tits. :)
Irene Adler: No, he likes brains. Always a surprise that he keeps you around.
John Watson: Yet I'm still here. :) And he's warming my bed.
Irene Adler: I haven't forgotten. I am eagerly awaiting my chance to view the video footage.
John Watson: I already threatened Mycroft, you'll never seen it.
Irene Adler: That's funny, he invited me over for a viewing. But I declined, to watch it with Jim. I don't think you can threaten him.
John Watson: Jim will be at the party, he was invited. He'll be jumping out of the cake.
Irene Adler: Has anyone ever told you you're funny?
John Watson: Yeah, and then I shot them.
Irene Adler: Good, because they were lying to you.
John Watson:Well, they're still dead, aren't they?
Irene Adler: Usually sex makes people less tense, darling, are you sure you're doing it right?
John Watson: We like it intense! You've met Sherlock, do you think sleeping with him would be anything but? ;) How's the date with Jim going, he said he was taking you out tonight?
Irene Adler: Sadly, it had to be postponed to later this evening, a couple hours from now, but I am looking forward to it. Since we'll be watching your video, we'll be sure to take some pictures of what we get up to this evening to repay the favor
John Watson: Oh, please send them, I need a good laugh. You do know that Jim has a wee problem in that area. That's why he has anger issues.
Irene Adler: Jim told me you're obsessing over his cock. Where ever did you get that idea?
John Watson: The pics Mycroft took when he had Jim. Not much to obsess over! Snickers :)
Irene Adler: Who implied anything about obsession?
John Watson: You did. I'm not interested in Jim, unless he's a dead Jim.
Irene Adler: Oh, right, pardon my forgetfulness, I thought you were implying I was obsessed, which would be silly. Of course you aren't. Which is why you're texting him, insulting the length of his penis.
John Watson: I'm just saying he has anger issues, and he shouldn't try to take them out on Sherlock. He needs a shrink, crazy bastard.
Irene Adler: I'm not saying Jim's the most healthy individual, but he is ever so fun to play with.
John Watson: Ask him if he knows about the planets and see what he says :)
Irene Adler: All right. I will be seeing him momentarily, so I will be sure to do that. How's your squeeze doing?
John Watson: He's doing really well, we've moved on from studying the solar system to black holes. It's really keeping his interest.
Irene Adler: Is that an innuendo? I'm afraid I don't quite understand.
John Watson: I'm not surprised, put your clothes on and maybe you'll be able to use your brain better.
Irene Adler:
John Watson: Damn, can't get it on my phone, email it to me ;)
Irene Adler: Champagne. In honor of Sherlock.
John Watson: He's been bottoms up for hours :)
Irene Adler: Oh, yes, the video will be viewed shortly.
John Watson: I hope he caught my best side, from the rear.
Irene Adler: I heard you're not invited to the party either. Awfully rude of them, don't you think?
Mycroft Holmes: My place. 2 hours.
You can have a private viewing of the video footage.
Irene Adler: My dear, I thought for a minute there you were propositioning me, Mr. Holmes. Oh, so they did shag and there is indeed footage then?
Mycroft Holmes: If you really want to know, you'll be here.
Irene Adler: Now the good doctor insists you have personal knowledge of Inspector Lestrade's manhood. Is every man I know gay?
Mycroft Holmes: Film at 8.
Irene Adler: Terribly evasive. But I will see you then.
Mycroft Holmes: Promises, promises, Irene.
Irene Adler: Well, now that you mention it, Jim says he can procure a copy and he's much more of a delight to spend an evening with.
Irene Adler: How ever is that Dickens investigation going?
Greg Lestrade: I'd tell you, but I have no more idea than you do. Probably less, come to think of it.
Irene Adler: That's probably true, actually. Jim insists on involving me, though that's not really my type of fun. I was just wondering what was keeping Sherlock occupied.
Irene Adler: I suppose they invited you, didn't they?
Mrs. Hudson: Is this Sherlock's pretty lady friend? He keeps saying it isn't his birthday and it's a ruse from some fellow named Moriarty. Do you know him dear?
Irene Adler: Yes, that's me. And yes, Moriarty is also a friend of mine, much more inclined to have a little fun than Sherlock. If it isn't his birthday though, why is he having a party? That John Watson has rudely insisted I am not invited to.
Mrs. Hudson: Oh dear, I don't know what's going on now, the boys are so hard to keep track of sometimes, aren't they? John was rude to you, dear? That's not like him.
Irene Adler: Oh, it's quite all right. I know he just gets jealous of me. But you poor dear, I know it's not your job to watch after them.
Mrs. Hudson: Too right, you know what that Sherlock gets up to. I keep telling them I'm not their housekeeper. But he's a dear, just like that John.
Irene Adler: Rumor has it they're being dears together now. Is that true?
Mrs. Hudson: Well now it's not my place to say, now is it? I wonder sometimes. They row just like a couple some days.
Irene Adler: Well, they've always been a couple, but it's just been a question of whether they were shagging or not.
Mrs. Hudson: Oh my dear, must you be so vulgar? It isn't refined.
Irene Adler: So sorry, Mrs. Hudson.
Mrs. Hudson: Well thank you dear. You wouldn't happen to know Sherlock's favorite cake would you? Just in case I finish up at Lestrade's and can bake something after all.
Irene Adler: No idea at all. What are you doing at Lestrade's?
Mrs. Hudson: He says there's a bomb threat at his office from that Moriarty fellow. I'm not sure I like him.
Irene Adler: Yes, well, he is a rather naughty boy.
Irene Adler: Did they at least invite you to the party, darling?
Molly Hooper: Sorry, who are you?
Irene Adler: Irene Adler. A friend of Sherlock's. He may have referred to me as "The Woman"?
Molly Hooper: Oh. Um, so do you see Sherlock often? Are you his girlfriend?
Irene Adler: Oh, don't let John hear you saying that, he'll get frightfully jealous. No, not at all. Just a friend, I assure you, the one time he saw me naked was entirely a surprise on his part.
Molly Hooper: Oh okay. Um, why did he see you naked?
OH. Oh. I think I know who you are. But, I thought you were dead? Sherlock identified you at the morgue. By, not your face.
Irene Adler: Let's just say I was trying to beat him. Yes, indeed, that was me. Well, he was supposed to think it was me. Obviously I'm not dead.
Molly Hooper: Um okay. Did you want something?
Irene Adler: I wasn't invited to their little shindig this evening in honor of Sherlock's birthday and I was wondering if you had been. that is all.
Molly Hooper: Oh, whose shindig? I didn't hear anything. Although I suppose I might have missed something because of all the commotion at Bart's. What is going on?
Irene Adler: I'm not entirely sure, I've heard rumors of a party but no one has been perfectly forthcoming. What commotion at Bart's?
Molly Hooper: Oh, there was a bomb. Jim Moriarty was involved, I think. I helped defuse the bomb. :)
Irene Adler: My, my, Jim has been busy today. That certainly does sound exciting.
Molly Hooper: Oh, do you know Jim? How do you know him?
I just found out. About John and Sherlock. I'm really in shock. I didn't make it sound like I am. But, I really am stunned. And a little sad. Did you know they are together? Like THAT?
Irene Adler: I just found out today too. Can't say I was completely surprised, but a bit. Can't say I'm not jealous though.
Molly Hooper: I think that's what I'm feeling. I'm jealous. And why am I talking about this to you? But it's so strange. We have something in common.
Are you going to do anything for Sherlock's party? John says that he didn't invite you.
Irene Adler: He didn't. He was quite rude, in fact, so I've decided to spend the evening with Jim instead.
Molly Hooper: Oh. So you really are with him. Is he your boyfriend? You should be careful with him. He's not very nice. Oh. But you're not very nice either. You've done things. To Sherlock. You made him think you were dead. He was upset. At the morgue, when he saw your body that wasn't your body.
I mean, he pretended he wasn't upset. But I know he was.
Irene Adler: It was a very crucial move, for my safety, I'm afraid. Couldn't be helped. As far as Jim goes, I appreciate your concern, but I quite know what I'm in for with him.
Molly Hooper: Oh. Okay. If you know what you're getting yourself into...
Irene Adler: Yes. We're together now, raising a glass for the birthday boy.
Molly Hooper: Oh. Okay. Nice to know.
I corrected some of my typos and added capitalization and punctuation in texts, because I'm anal like that. Hope it doesn't offend anyone. Also, I couldn't decide what word Irene Adler would use to talk about a penis. Haha. Anyone?
These are the pictures we sent:
"In honor of the birthday boy, since we weren't invited to the celebration"
"Happy Birthday Sherlock"
"Moriarty and his John-equivalent"
Moriarty and Irene watch CCTV footage of Johnlock:
Plus two chaeche took on her phone of us raising glasses (And a riding crop in Irene's hand as well)
So much fun!!!
I played Irene Adler, which was something new, as I've been text message roleplaying Lestrade in a Mystrade plot for a couple months now, but it was so much fun playing her. She's snarky and full of innuendo, but incredibly human underneath that. And since my good friend chaeche was playing Moriarty, we decided to meet up in person and work that into the game, and I decided that was the perfect excuse for a little cosplay. It turned out pretty decent for how last minute it was. The thing about amassing a huge collection of cosplay paraphernalia is that impromptu cosplay becomes easier and easier when you have a huge collection of wigs and costume pieces to choose from. Hahaha.
Anyway, the day was a TON of fun, and my phone was constantly pinging and I kept texting and laughing and it almost felt like MY birthday too.
Jim Moriarty: Darling, what are you up to this fine morning? Stayin' alive?
Irene Adler: Is that the best you've got? Stayin' alive? Do these lines actually work on women?
Jim Moriarty: On ordinary ones yes but you are definitely not ordinary. Have you picked out a present for the birthday boy?
Irene Adler: Well, I do appreciate that. He's insisting it's not his birthday.
Jim Moriarty: Maybe he needs some convincing.
Remind him I am wearing these. (Picture message of women's underwear with "ALL THIS and brains too" written across the butt)
Irene Adler: You want me to remind him of the pants you are wearing?
Jim Moriarty: If he needs reminding. Pretty memorable, huh?
Sherlock was a bit slow in solving my first riddle. Perhaps his pet was distracting him?
Irene Adler: I dare say I won't be forgetting any time soon. And how, may I ask, did Sherlock come to see these pants of yours?
You always say pet, but it they were actually ever to take it to the bedroom, I highly doubt Sherlock would be the one in charge.
Jim Moriarty: Of course not. We both know Sherlock would look ravishing in a ball gag yes?
Perhaps you are lucky enough to have firsthand knowledge?
Irene Adler: It would serve it's purpose well in his mouth, but I do think those gorgeous lips of his could be put to better use.
Jim Moriarty: I like to picture him licking my boots.
Irene Adler: I'd photograph that.
Jim Moriarty: Poor Sherlock would be so upset if he knew his only intellectual equals spent his birthday exchanging lewd texts about him.
Irene Adler: I must confess, I didn't realize you had considered him in such a way. Not that I blame you...
Jim Moriarty: I have my types.
Are you invited to the party with the Baker Street Boys tonight?
Irene Adler: Don't say your type is intellectual. I've seen some of the women you chat up.
No, I wasn't aware there was a party. How terribly rude of them.
Jim Moriarty: Seriously. Perhaps we should have one without them. I am in town for a jewelry heist but it should be wrapped up by 6.
Irene Adler: Indeed. Like a party without us will offer him any real stimulation.
Jim Moriarty: Celebrating with a bunch of monkeys.
Irene Adler: Dear me, you'll never guess who decided to rethink his sexuality.
Jim Moriarty: Mycroft just caved and told me the address for the party.
Irene Adler: Really? I heard he wasn't invited either. But John is being quite rude to me.
Jim Moriarty: Who?
Pub called the Horsehead in 1 hr. Wanna crash?
John cannot stop talking about my penis.
I think Sherlock has been withholding sex and it has made him randy.
Irene Adler: Horsehead? I'm afraid I don't know that one. But I would very much enjoy that. Your penis now? My, when that man realized he's gay, he didn't hold anything back, did he?
Now John told me they've been shagging today. We're getting conflicting stories here, love.
Jim Moriarty: Hmmmm. Did he provide sordid details?
Irene Adler: No, though I did try. It sounds like there is video footage though that Mycroft Holmes took and will let me watch
Jim Moriarty: That sounds like a reason to throw a party.
Irene Adler: It does indeed.
Film at 8.
Jim Moriarty: Want to come over and watch it with me?
Irene Adler: Do you have a copy? Mycroft has invited me over to his.
Jim Moriarty: I can procure one.
Irene Adler: Splendid.
Threatening the detective inspector with bombs now? Naughty boy.
Irene Adler: I heard today is your birthday. Let's have dinner.
Sherlock Holmes: A vicious rumor. Sorry about dinner. -SH
Irene Adler: I'm not entirely sure I believe that.You were born some time, darling. But I'll play along. Someone is spreading awful gossip about you, poor thing. Let me take you to dinner, I'll make it all better.
Sherlock Holmes: What is Moriarty's interest in Dickens? -SH
Birthdays are boring. -SH
Irene Adler: I don't think he has an interest in Dickens so much as an interest in playing mind games with you.
I could change that.
Sherlock Holmes: And it's not my birthday! It's a diversion from Moriarty! -SH
Do that and I might consider dinner. -SH
Irene Adler: You do know what a good birthday with me would entail, correct?
You having an exciting birthday? I didn't imagine you could without me...
Sherlock Holmes: Your former associate is keeping me rather busy. -SH
Irene Adler: Jim? Nothing former about it, darling. I'm on my way to meet him now. I hear he's got a very captivating video of you and the good doctor.
Irene Adler: Is it true there's a party for him tonight? And you didn't invite me?
John Watson: Is this THE WOMAN? If it is, hell no, you're not invited
Irene Adler: I've been known to go by that, yes. And why not? I can't imagine he doesn't want me there.
John Watson: He'll be too busy shagging me, sweetheart.
Irene Adler: Not that I'm particularly surprised, but what happened to "I'm not gay"?
John Watson: I changed my mind. Why don't you go bother Mycroft, we didn't invite the creeper either.
Irene Adler: My, my. Tell me how he is then, will you? Virgins are so much fun.
John Watson: Perfect, although he insisted the skull watch.
Irene Adler: Details, love, I want details.
John Watson: Ask Mycroft, I'm sure the pervert taped it.
Irene Adler: Oh my, it might be my birthday as well. So tell me. What was it that changed your mind?
John Watson: Had to be his voice, and his ass isn't too bad either. Plus he kept scaring off all my girlfriends.
Irene Adler: Not too bad? That man could model for a statue.
John Watson: Yes he could!
Irene Adler: So no hard feelings then? I can come to the party?
John Watson: Only if you stay away from Sherlock! Try Lestrade, Mycroft said he was hung like a horse.
Irene Adler: Feeling a bit insecure, are we? And why does Mycroft know about Detective Lestrade's endowment?
John Watson: You'll have to ask Mycroft! And no, they don't call me 3 Continent Watson for nothing.
Irene Adler: Who calls you that?
John Watson: Everyone!
Irene Adler: I don't call you that.
John Watson: I've never had you. :)
Irene Adler: Pity. For you.
John Watson: Not really, I've made it this far without any STDs, I'd like to keep it that way.
Irene Adler: You're awfully rude tonight, Doctor Watson
John Watson: You bring out the worst in me, my dear.
Irene Adler: And why do you think that is?
John Watson: Because your tits are bigger than mine. :)
Irene Adler: It's true, they are fantastic.
John Watson: Sherlock doesn't like tits. :)
Irene Adler: No, he likes brains. Always a surprise that he keeps you around.
John Watson: Yet I'm still here. :) And he's warming my bed.
Irene Adler: I haven't forgotten. I am eagerly awaiting my chance to view the video footage.
John Watson: I already threatened Mycroft, you'll never seen it.
Irene Adler: That's funny, he invited me over for a viewing. But I declined, to watch it with Jim. I don't think you can threaten him.
John Watson: Jim will be at the party, he was invited. He'll be jumping out of the cake.
Irene Adler: Has anyone ever told you you're funny?
John Watson: Yeah, and then I shot them.
Irene Adler: Good, because they were lying to you.
John Watson:Well, they're still dead, aren't they?
Irene Adler: Usually sex makes people less tense, darling, are you sure you're doing it right?
John Watson: We like it intense! You've met Sherlock, do you think sleeping with him would be anything but? ;) How's the date with Jim going, he said he was taking you out tonight?
Irene Adler: Sadly, it had to be postponed to later this evening, a couple hours from now, but I am looking forward to it. Since we'll be watching your video, we'll be sure to take some pictures of what we get up to this evening to repay the favor
John Watson: Oh, please send them, I need a good laugh. You do know that Jim has a wee problem in that area. That's why he has anger issues.
Irene Adler: Jim told me you're obsessing over his cock. Where ever did you get that idea?
John Watson: The pics Mycroft took when he had Jim. Not much to obsess over! Snickers :)
Irene Adler: Who implied anything about obsession?
John Watson: You did. I'm not interested in Jim, unless he's a dead Jim.
Irene Adler: Oh, right, pardon my forgetfulness, I thought you were implying I was obsessed, which would be silly. Of course you aren't. Which is why you're texting him, insulting the length of his penis.
John Watson: I'm just saying he has anger issues, and he shouldn't try to take them out on Sherlock. He needs a shrink, crazy bastard.
Irene Adler: I'm not saying Jim's the most healthy individual, but he is ever so fun to play with.
John Watson: Ask him if he knows about the planets and see what he says :)
Irene Adler: All right. I will be seeing him momentarily, so I will be sure to do that. How's your squeeze doing?
John Watson: He's doing really well, we've moved on from studying the solar system to black holes. It's really keeping his interest.
Irene Adler: Is that an innuendo? I'm afraid I don't quite understand.
John Watson: I'm not surprised, put your clothes on and maybe you'll be able to use your brain better.
Irene Adler:
John Watson: Damn, can't get it on my phone, email it to me ;)
Irene Adler: Champagne. In honor of Sherlock.
John Watson: He's been bottoms up for hours :)
Irene Adler: Oh, yes, the video will be viewed shortly.
John Watson: I hope he caught my best side, from the rear.
Irene Adler: I heard you're not invited to the party either. Awfully rude of them, don't you think?
Mycroft Holmes: My place. 2 hours.
You can have a private viewing of the video footage.
Irene Adler: My dear, I thought for a minute there you were propositioning me, Mr. Holmes. Oh, so they did shag and there is indeed footage then?
Mycroft Holmes: If you really want to know, you'll be here.
Irene Adler: Now the good doctor insists you have personal knowledge of Inspector Lestrade's manhood. Is every man I know gay?
Mycroft Holmes: Film at 8.
Irene Adler: Terribly evasive. But I will see you then.
Mycroft Holmes: Promises, promises, Irene.
Irene Adler: Well, now that you mention it, Jim says he can procure a copy and he's much more of a delight to spend an evening with.
Irene Adler: How ever is that Dickens investigation going?
Greg Lestrade: I'd tell you, but I have no more idea than you do. Probably less, come to think of it.
Irene Adler: That's probably true, actually. Jim insists on involving me, though that's not really my type of fun. I was just wondering what was keeping Sherlock occupied.
Irene Adler: I suppose they invited you, didn't they?
Mrs. Hudson: Is this Sherlock's pretty lady friend? He keeps saying it isn't his birthday and it's a ruse from some fellow named Moriarty. Do you know him dear?
Irene Adler: Yes, that's me. And yes, Moriarty is also a friend of mine, much more inclined to have a little fun than Sherlock. If it isn't his birthday though, why is he having a party? That John Watson has rudely insisted I am not invited to.
Mrs. Hudson: Oh dear, I don't know what's going on now, the boys are so hard to keep track of sometimes, aren't they? John was rude to you, dear? That's not like him.
Irene Adler: Oh, it's quite all right. I know he just gets jealous of me. But you poor dear, I know it's not your job to watch after them.
Mrs. Hudson: Too right, you know what that Sherlock gets up to. I keep telling them I'm not their housekeeper. But he's a dear, just like that John.
Irene Adler: Rumor has it they're being dears together now. Is that true?
Mrs. Hudson: Well now it's not my place to say, now is it? I wonder sometimes. They row just like a couple some days.
Irene Adler: Well, they've always been a couple, but it's just been a question of whether they were shagging or not.
Mrs. Hudson: Oh my dear, must you be so vulgar? It isn't refined.
Irene Adler: So sorry, Mrs. Hudson.
Mrs. Hudson: Well thank you dear. You wouldn't happen to know Sherlock's favorite cake would you? Just in case I finish up at Lestrade's and can bake something after all.
Irene Adler: No idea at all. What are you doing at Lestrade's?
Mrs. Hudson: He says there's a bomb threat at his office from that Moriarty fellow. I'm not sure I like him.
Irene Adler: Yes, well, he is a rather naughty boy.
Irene Adler: Did they at least invite you to the party, darling?
Molly Hooper: Sorry, who are you?
Irene Adler: Irene Adler. A friend of Sherlock's. He may have referred to me as "The Woman"?
Molly Hooper: Oh. Um, so do you see Sherlock often? Are you his girlfriend?
Irene Adler: Oh, don't let John hear you saying that, he'll get frightfully jealous. No, not at all. Just a friend, I assure you, the one time he saw me naked was entirely a surprise on his part.
Molly Hooper: Oh okay. Um, why did he see you naked?
OH. Oh. I think I know who you are. But, I thought you were dead? Sherlock identified you at the morgue. By, not your face.
Irene Adler: Let's just say I was trying to beat him. Yes, indeed, that was me. Well, he was supposed to think it was me. Obviously I'm not dead.
Molly Hooper: Um okay. Did you want something?
Irene Adler: I wasn't invited to their little shindig this evening in honor of Sherlock's birthday and I was wondering if you had been. that is all.
Molly Hooper: Oh, whose shindig? I didn't hear anything. Although I suppose I might have missed something because of all the commotion at Bart's. What is going on?
Irene Adler: I'm not entirely sure, I've heard rumors of a party but no one has been perfectly forthcoming. What commotion at Bart's?
Molly Hooper: Oh, there was a bomb. Jim Moriarty was involved, I think. I helped defuse the bomb. :)
Irene Adler: My, my, Jim has been busy today. That certainly does sound exciting.
Molly Hooper: Oh, do you know Jim? How do you know him?
I just found out. About John and Sherlock. I'm really in shock. I didn't make it sound like I am. But, I really am stunned. And a little sad. Did you know they are together? Like THAT?
Irene Adler: I just found out today too. Can't say I was completely surprised, but a bit. Can't say I'm not jealous though.
Molly Hooper: I think that's what I'm feeling. I'm jealous. And why am I talking about this to you? But it's so strange. We have something in common.
Are you going to do anything for Sherlock's party? John says that he didn't invite you.
Irene Adler: He didn't. He was quite rude, in fact, so I've decided to spend the evening with Jim instead.
Molly Hooper: Oh. So you really are with him. Is he your boyfriend? You should be careful with him. He's not very nice. Oh. But you're not very nice either. You've done things. To Sherlock. You made him think you were dead. He was upset. At the morgue, when he saw your body that wasn't your body.
I mean, he pretended he wasn't upset. But I know he was.
Irene Adler: It was a very crucial move, for my safety, I'm afraid. Couldn't be helped. As far as Jim goes, I appreciate your concern, but I quite know what I'm in for with him.
Molly Hooper: Oh. Okay. If you know what you're getting yourself into...
Irene Adler: Yes. We're together now, raising a glass for the birthday boy.
Molly Hooper: Oh. Okay. Nice to know.
I corrected some of my typos and added capitalization and punctuation in texts, because I'm anal like that. Hope it doesn't offend anyone. Also, I couldn't decide what word Irene Adler would use to talk about a penis. Haha. Anyone?
These are the pictures we sent:
"In honor of the birthday boy, since we weren't invited to the celebration"
"Happy Birthday Sherlock"
"Moriarty and his John-equivalent"
Moriarty and Irene watch CCTV footage of Johnlock:
Plus two chaeche took on her phone of us raising glasses (And a riding crop in Irene's hand as well)
So much fun!!!