The Rundown
At this point, it's time to start making plans. I don't foresee the work situation making enough of a drastic improvement to warrant staying there, so right now I am aiming to give notice in mid-September. This will give me the month of October to pack up and get moved out.
I am not sure what, exactly, I am going to do in San Diego. I've completely soured on copy editing, so it won't be that. This is a good opportunity for me to start over and just see what I can do with my life and whatever skill set I may possess. Without the insane OC overhead, it'll be much easier.
I'm amused by how the Powers That Be elected Wee One as our new leader. My general assumption is that Supervisor just told them she should be it, and they went with it. Other department members react with revulsion when they hear; Wee One does not express herself well in email (actually, she comes across as a condescending, subjective little bitch) and thus has made quite a few enemies.
Three more months. That's all.
I am just about done outfitting my home office. I was going to cannibalize the '08 laptop for parts until I discovered they sell at up to 700 (refurbished). The machine still works - just had hard drive trouble. So I bought a spacious, 500-gb Seagate to plunk in, as well as RAM to bring it up to 4 gigs. I will get the new Windows 7 for us and start fresh. Of the two laptops I have, it's definitely the fancier, higher-end machine, so I think I'll leave that hooked up to my moitor and gizmos while I take the smaller, newer one about town with me.
Also picked up a chill mat (said older machine tends to run hot) and a USB splitter so I can hook up my gizmos. And I'm keeping the receipts because dammit, this is a business expense, IRS.
I am not sure when this Marvelous Transformation will occur; first I need a screwdriver to get the device open...
Had a very nice weekend with the BF, overall. I headed out to his place on Saturday, and we bummed around watching TV (I worked more...sigh), he made jerk chicken; we went walking on the beach and checked out festivities for the fourth. Decided to go see a movie; we ended up stopping by my place so I could pick up PJs, toothbrush, etc. Saw The Last Airbender at the Block and holy fuck, it was horrific, save your money, folks, DO NOT SEE IT. Horrible movie. Bad script, bad casting, bad plot, bad everything.
The soundtrack was nice. That is the lone takeaway. James Newton Howard, I salute you.
Went back to Seal, watched Star Wars, passed right out. Well, he did. I have trouble sleeping in new places so I tossed and turned. Meh.
Sunday. We went to his parents' BBQ, which I was under the impression we were skipping. Then we stopped at his friend's BBQ. Got back to his place and I managed to edit one article. Then our mutual friends (my pal from the office, her bf is his best friend) crashed our party and we sat out on the beach and watched the fireworks show. It was very relaxing and just peaceful. I never did "couple stuff" with the other boyfriends, so I do like hanging out with those two.
I ended up staying over again because I didn't feel like driving back. Came home this morning. Where I have worked. And tidied up.
I guess at some point I need to address the things that do bother me. I want more...affection. Hand-holding, cuddling. We did it in the beginning and it has tapered off. It kind of sucks to be sitting in a row on the couch and one couple is all holdy-handy and squeezy while the others barely move. Nor do I want to have to practically climb into his lap to get affection from him, y'know?
There's also the antisocial aspect, which I sort of knew existed but bothers me anyway. There's a party for departing Supervisor next Friday. I, of course, am obligated to go. All the girls' boyfriends will be there. I would like my BF to go, but when I asked him he declined.
Now, running this by certain girlfriends I am told, "You need to TELL him he is going," i.e. "We are going to a party and we will stay for two hours, the end" - but that's not my style. I don't like making people do things they don't want to do. I am not keen on dragging him to an event where he will be miserable. At the same time, I go to his parents' events and his friends' stuff without complaint, whereas he patently avoids doing stuff with my pals. I get that he's shy and solitary, but it bugs the shit out of me sometimes. Whenever I go to these big events and the boyfriend, who is at least bordering on long-term now, doesn't show, I have to field all kinds of obnoxious questions and I have to deal with these bitches from work and BE THERE FOR ME GODDAMMIT.
And honestly, this is coming from The Suz, who hates combining friends and boyfriends and feels they should be separate endeavours most of the time.
Like when he just said "No, I probably won't" I went wow silently and just pulled away from him. He asked if I wanted to get ice cream. I said no and kept on walking (we were on the pier). I don't think it's a lack of caring and affection on his part, but it does bug me. Both of them.
I don't know. Maybe I should suck it up and count my blessings. This one's pretty good. I don't really have complaints about him otherwise. Maybe I just don't know how to bring these things up to him? I am quite used to having my own shortcomings pointed out to me, often in not-nice ways, and I know my initial reaction was to recoil and wonder why the person was with me in the first place...so I want to avoid that.
I also don't know what to do with him in the long run. He knew from the start I was considering San Diego. Hell, he moved into his current place because it had a six-month lease and he wouldn't be stuck in a yearlong while I went to SD in October/November. He has talked about moving down there and establishing his business, even asking my brother to help out. I am trying very hard to not dismiss it as just talk, bu it's not something I want to bring up right now. I guess I assume that he will decide to stay up in OC and I might as well enjoy him while I have him.
I dunno. I don't like getting my hopes up, even now.
But overall, a nice weekend, some things to think about, etc. And now to the grocery store to get some grub for the week.